This post is Part 3 in a series about how Third Day's CDs have aligned with the goings on in my life at the time of their release.
I was ten when Time was released, and doing a bit better then I was previously. I was learning how to deal with my surroundings, and was able to express my convictions with more confidence and less frustration. I've never been one for material possessions, and I'm sort of a utilitarian. This fact struck a chord with some people, and I would just tell them that nothing here was worth it. I had a firm reliance on God and a trust that no matter what were to happen, He'd still BE. So I took on an ideology that was very non-chalant and easy going. I didn't care what were to happen, because in the end it wasn't that big of a deal.
So not bowing down was very easy for me. If God's all that matters, then He's obviously the one you should always side with. God had taken my place, so the least I could do was stand up for him. And yet, I would constantly find myself in situations where I wasn't saying the right thing and wasn't allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through me. Everytime I disappointed God it hurt, to the point that I just didn't want to exist so that I wouldn't hurt him anymore. And yet I knew how much God loved me and I wouldn't dishonor his sacrifice, so I just prayed for God's mercy and told Him that I would take all He had to give.