The Victory…oh how I long to hear this song in person…
I am legally blind. My blindness was the result of a rape, where the offender had beaten me so badly, that I had to learn to walk and talk again. One of my eyes lost the majority of sight at the time of the attack. The second is a progressive result of the trauma. Ultimately one day I will be totally blind. Did they ever catch my attacker? They had to look no further than my own home.
But to understand my story, you have to travel even further back to my childhood. I learned the lesson early on that my body was not my own. A victim of incest, my innocence was stolen well before I had any ability to voice my opinion on the matter. Silence and secrets were the norm and while I would eventually leave my home of abuse, I would marry a man who would continue the pattern.
Fortunately my story doesn’t end there, because I serve the Lord and Master who can make everything beautiful in its time. Fast forward fifteen years to today. I am a struggling doctoral student at a local Christian university, writing my dissertation on the impact of hope on trauma survivors. I am a certified Traumatologist offering counseling services to trauma victims. I freely volunteer my time to several local non-profits that minister to women with similar stories to mine. I am both a mother and a grandmother, living a relatively normal life, apart from the constant reminder of my past. I will quickly tell you that God has not wasted a single moment of my pain and I share my story in the hopes that someone will be made free by it. I am passionate about lending a voice on behalf of victims of sexual and domestic violence, allowing God to use it all to bring healing and awareness to this issue.
I have every reason to sing a song of fear and despair, a song of suffering and blaming, a song of victimization, and hopelessness. But the song that was bequeathed to me by my family and my ex-husband was not the song that God appointed for me to sing. God has been faithful, through the last fifteen years, to redeem the hurts, repair the brokenness, and give me a new song of conquering and victory; overcoming everything that the enemy turned on me. And the song that I sing is all the more beautiful, rich and resonant because of the journey I have taken with my Abba Father.
Moreover, what God did for me, He wants to do for each one of you. He has fashioned a new melody for you to sing on the other side of every tragedy and new lyrics to give you in exchange for your heartbreak. He stands waiting for you to hold out your brokenness to Him, in exchange for that new song, a song that no one else can sing but you. Is there a new song that He is calling you to sing today, but you have been holding on to an area of pain, sin, or brokenness? Take a moment and write a prayer to God relinquishing control of it to Him, and receive the new song He has for you.
Thank you Third Day for you beautiful ministry.
Saved by Grace,
A child of the King,
In His name,