Me, Racist? Some internal thoughts...

[cheewiee]

Many of you may know that I have recently relocated from Orlando to Charlotte. Being in this place that is foreign to me, I have to explore and find a barber, for example.

Yesterday I needed a haircut. So I am driving around and I see this sign for a barbershop. I figure, hey that's fine I will go there. Anyway I get out of my car and walk in and I realized something. I was the only white guy in the place. What surprised me is that I felt uncomfortable.

I didn't know why I felt uncomfortable, I mean I really don't harbor racist feelings that I am conscious of. But it was like in the movies, when the white guy walks into a place full of African Americans and they all turn and look at him like he is out of place. Well after what seemed to be like forever, but in reality was only a second or two a barber asked me if I needed a haircut, and I said yes. And like in the movies, all of the attention turned from me back to what ever it was they were doing.

So I get my haircut, and all and I pay and leave. He did a good job so I got his card and left.

I kept thinking to myself, that felt just like those scenes from the movies. And while I was getting my haircut I wondered if they would joke about the cracker that wondered into their shop that day.

After a little bit of this, I realized that my personal feeling in the matter was coming from my own insecurities. These insecurities were exacerbated by scenes from movies that were similar to my experience.

But it got me thinking, how much hate and racism in this world is due to our own fears and insecurities, rather than just simply intolerance....

Just something to think about...

[HotWireD]

I have had similar experiences of the sensations and feelings that you describe here. They are not necessarily rascist..

I used to ride a motorcycle (leathers and denims etc) and that same pregnant silence would occur when I walked into public houses (bars), once the landlord said hello, the other people in the room would get on with their conversations.

In the Fens, there are public houses where when you walk in, if you are not from the actual village, the occupants all clam up until they decide if you are okay. A bit like the Slaughtered Lamb Public House in 'American Werewolf in London' - where the conversation stops and everyone stares at the two lads as they enter.

I think that sometimes people, any people, just want to know who they are dealing with - It also happens to me at work - I work for law Enforcement - many times when I meet a group of people they will quieten down until they realise that i am not there to spy on them or arrest them.

There is also the possibility that what you felt was not your own feelings but the perception of what the people in the hairdressers felt - it could be they have had bad experiences of people walking into the shop for other reasons than having a hair cut. I have had people (criminals) automatically expect something bad to happen to them when I approach them - possibly due to having experienced a 'bad cop' in the past.

[Evanescence]

I will be honest and say that I am probably prejudiced against the "ghetto or inner city" lifestyle.

I really despise "wiggers" black or white. Hats on crooked, slacker pants, wife beater Tank tops, cars with thumping radios, junkie little smoke wagon foreign cars....you name it. I can't stand it.

If I had to hire one of two people...one of which was a "ghetto looking" dude, I would not hesitate to hire the other.

As for RACE...black, white or Asian? That doesn't bother me. As long as their pants are up high enough and their hats on straight :cool:

[rossid]

I think many Italians are raised racist. It is something cultural that I've had to adjust but there are still stereotypes in my thought process. But then I have stereotypes about other kinds of people that also are not right. Love of all is the command of Jesus.

[clemsontigers23]

I think the only time I ever feel uncomfortable is when so many black people come out and pull the race card and call white people racist when they're not. If you ever read discussions on ESPN.com, especially on the Michael Vick thing, there's a lot of accusations of racism thrown around in pretty much every topic.

On O'Reilly Factor tonight a black man said that we're "lynching" Michael Vick and the SCLC, a supposed Christian civil rights organization, is about to HONOR Michael Vick. The NAACP has offered its support. I remember when the Don Imus controversy broke out how unfairly he was treated by Sharpton and such.

I remember on Hannity & Colmes one night, shortly after the ruling that kids couldn't be placed in certain school districts based on race, they had two black men. One man was very sensible, agreeing with one Supreme Court judge's assessment that "if you want to stop race discrimination, we need to stop discriminating based on race." The other black man actually said that some white kids who wouldn't get in because they were white should have to suffer to right the wrongs done to blacks in the past. His actual words were "somebody has to suffer."

I am strongly opposed to affirmitive action. I am also disgusted by the gangster lifestyle, but where I live there's more white people living it than black.

That being said, I have nothing against black people. I do get annoyed by those throwing around the race card all the time and the double standard that exists in this country.

There are probably more black racists around today than white. It goes both ways...personally, I don't care what color you are until you bring it up and start using it as a crutch. I think that's why there's so many uncomfortable and awkward feelings...on both sides there are people who simply don't want to interact with the other race.

You're not racist...there's just still some racial tension, which in my personal opinion, will go away as soon as civil rights activists stop bringing it up.

[Evanescence]

The Gangsta lifestyle/trend/style is a huge detriment to this country...

:mad: :mad: :mad:

[Jake]

Cheewiee, I had a similar experience the other day. My fiance and I went to Wendy's for lunch, and when we walked in, we were the only white people in the place...on the other hand, there was at least 20-30 black people. We were both quite uncomfortable.

And like yourself, I have nothing against black people, and have several friends who are. But we were both feeling a bit un-easy.

[DareDevil]

Let's face it. One doesn't have to be racist oneself to acknowledge the existance of racism. We simply KNOW that there are people who make a really big thing out of the whole race issue and most of us feel uncomfortable when we are in a situation where our skin color MIGHT make a difference in the eyes of others.

[lilmikey]

I will be honest and say that I am probably prejudiced against the "ghetto or inner city" lifestyle.

I really despise "wiggers" black or white. Hats on crooked, slacker pants, wife beater Tank tops, cars with thumping radios, junkie little smoke wagon foreign cars....you name it. I can't stand it.

If I had to hire one of two people...one of which was a "ghetto looking" dude, I would not hesitate to hire the other.

As for RACE...black, white or Asian? That doesn't bother me. As long as their pants are up high enough and their hats on straight :cool:

I cant stand it either. I just simply flatly don't like some CULTURES there is a difference. The town(which I hate by the way, but have no choice because I live with my parents) that I live has a HUGE history of racial issues and civil rights movements. Harriet Tubman was born and lived here. It was also one of birth places to have the Methodism.

I have to be honest and say that I struggle with racism. Not that I would burn a cross or kill some folks, far from it. But still I struggle and I believe it runs in my family. My Grandfather disowned my aunt because she married a black man. Im not like that at all. But some things about the black and and hispanic cultures irks me to no end. I don't hate those people I just dont necessarly like their ways and culture. I don't like soul or rap music and I absolutly hate the gangbanger lifestyle. As far as the hispanic culture I actually wouldn't say I dislike it But the immigration issue riles me up and most of the illegals here are mexicans.

[SonflowerGurl]

I don't believe racism runs in families although bias do. While we all have prejudices on varying levels for many things, to actually be a racist is a choice not a genetic disposition.

As for cultures, I'm not abliged to like or agree everything about every person I meet as they are not abliged to like or agree with everything about me -- the real issue is do we see a person, a real breathing human being with dreams, challenges and experiences. Until we see a person how can we love our neighbor. This concept crosses all races, religions, lifestyles. It is not racist to disagree but it is racist to devalue.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

[Yippy]

Ha! My kids just came home telling me the same thing happened to them. They and a couple of their friends went to Roscoe's Chicken & Waffle house and were the only white people there. The entire restaurant went silent and watched them walk to their table as they were seated in the back. Since my kids attend a school where whites are not the majority and the majority of their friends are not white, it didn't bother them. The silence did though. What broke the ice was the fact that they got a waitress who was just like Madea from Diary of a Mad Black Woman. She knocked their elbows off the table and sat with them and called them sweethearts. They got a lot of looks of curiousity. I don't know why though. This is LA, and it's not like they were deep in the heart of Watts or somewhere like that. I told them they could laugh about it, because they didn't meet with deep hostility. Imagine being black way back when, or even in some parts of the country now, where you walk in and meet hostility because you're the only non-white. My brother married a non-white, which is no big deal here, but when they travelled around the US, they met hostility in various places. That's no fun. Reverse racism is no fun either. I do find it amusing though when someone walks into a subculture and suddenly feels out of place. Maybe amusing isn't pc, but I think it's good for people.
Let's face it. One doesn't have to be racist oneself to acknowledge the existance of racism. We simply KNOW that there are people who make a really big thing out of the whole race issue and most of us feel uncomfortable when we are in a situation where our skin color MIGHT make a difference in the eyes of others.
I never felt this to be more real than after the riots here in L.A. After the riots, you couldn't go in a store and have anyone of a different color look you in the eye. It was very unsettling and there was so much hostility in the air. One day we're all a part of the community, doing our shopping, going to work, etc., and then next we're all enemies because of a verdict and a mass of people taking advantage of the situation. It was very unsettling.

[Jason]

It was also one of birth places to have the Methodism.


Huh?

[Pouye]

I was just in Orlando, Florida... never been there before.

I have long hair. I decided I wanted it cut/styled (still long, though) and I wandered into a "unisex" barber shop. There were three bald black dudes in there, and pictures of all blacks (and their funky hairstyles) on the walls. There was a young black lady in there getting her head shaved really short. There wasn't a long hairstyle featured in the place. There was a set of clippers hanging on every chair.

I walked in and felt a little uneasy, I will admit. Their eyes turned to me and then back to their work. Not a word was spoken. The silence said, "Boy, what are you doing in here?"

I stayed for bit, looking around at the walls and listening to the rap music pumping through the sound system. It appeared a station was empty, but I got no invitation after about 5 minutes (which seemed a lot longer!). For me, it wasn't so much of a racial thing, but a cultural thing -- did they know what to do with my hair? Would they be uncomfortable carving at my mop? I didn't really know what style I wanted, so I would have been asking for suggestions... would that have put them into an awkward position?

In the end, I just waved and walked out. I felt a little "racist" to do so, but for me it seemed the right thing to do. I felt like a Honda at a Ford dealership, and it didn't seem that their service was at all compatible with what I was actually hoping to achieve.

Anyway, I'm glad you had the guts to stay and get a haircut. I think I would have, too... if I didn't have Jesus-length hair. :D

Rock

[kiwisongbird]

Many places here I'm the only white person - I'm used to it, but Thai people don't stop and stare, they smile and chat! :) :)

[mat1583]

rofl! I had the same exact thing happen.

When I was a freshman at Auburn I finally decided I needed a haircut, but I hadn't been to any barber shops yet. I just opened the phone book and started calling numbers to make an appointment. Finally I got a shop that was open and made an appointment.

Even as I drove up to the place I didn't have any clue. I walked right in and was a bit surprised. It was one of those places that is probably someone's house that they run a business in. As I walked in I saw the same stuff Pouye described...pictures of black people on the wall, magazines with those style haircuts, etc. I was met by a very nice black woman who asked if I had an appointment. That's when I started feeling a little uneasy...not to mention the 2-3 other black people that were there staring at me.

I think I broke the tension by gingerly asking if she could work with this mess of strands I called hair. She laughed about it and took me to another small room for the haircut. Later on a few of her friends walked in to talk to her and just smiled at me. It was a bit awkward feeling. Needless to say, I didn't go back to the place again. It wasn't because I didn't like the haircut or the people...it just felt a little weird being the odd man out.

-washboard

[The Unknown Gomer]

Have y'all seen the movie "Crash"? Apparently it actually won the Academy award for Best Picture a few years ago, which was odd, since I'd never really heard much about it, just got it from Netflix last week because it had several name people in it. (just read that this was what won over Brokeback Mountain, which maybe why I never heard about it, since all the fuss that year was about Brokeback Mountain being nominated in the first place.)

If you've not seen it, it's a MUST see! It really makes you THINK. Here's the description from Netflix.

A 36-hour period in the diverse metropolis of post-Sept. 11 Los Angeles is the theme of this unflinching drama that challenges viewers to confront their prejudices. Lives combust when a Brentwood housewife and her D.A. husband, a Persian shopkeeper, two cops, a pair of carjackers and a Korean couple all converge. Director Paul Haggis's Best Picture Oscar winner stars Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon and Jennifer Esposito.

Here's a link (http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Crash/70023961?trkid=200611) to their preview page, which includes a video trailer preview.

Average user rating 4 of 5 stars, and the first three member reviews hit it right on the nose.

It fits right in with what this thread is all about...

[3D NC fan]

I was just in Orlando, Florida... never been there before.

I have long hair. I decided I wanted it cut/styled (still long, though) and I wandered into a "unisex" barber shop. There were three bald black dudes in there, and pictures of all blacks (and their funky hairstyles) on the walls. There was a young black lady in there getting her head shaved really short. There wasn't a long hairstyle featured in the place. There was a set of clippers hanging on every chair.

I walked in and felt a little uneasy, I will admit. Their eyes turned to me and then back to their work. Not a word was spoken. The silence said, "Boy, what are you doing in here?"

I stayed for bit, looking around at the walls and listening to the rap music pumping through the sound system. It appeared a station was empty, but I got no invitation after about 5 minutes (which seemed a lot longer!). For me, it wasn't so much of a racial thing, but a cultural thing -- did they know what to do with my hair? Would they be uncomfortable carving at my mop? I didn't really know what style I wanted, so I would have been asking for suggestions... would that have put them into an awkward position?

In the end, I just waved and walked out. I felt a little "racist" to do so, but for me it seemed the right thing to do. I felt like a Honda at a Ford dealership, and it didn't seem that their service was at all compatible with what I was actually hoping to achieve.

Anyway, I'm glad you had the guts to stay and get a haircut. I think I would have, too... if I didn't have Jesus-length hair. :D

Rock

So did you get a haircut somewhere else, Rock? Since no one indicated they were available to cut your hair, it seems you made the right decision.

We've had similar experiences in Charlotte as there is a very diverse population. I was actually surprised at the large Hispanic community here.

[lilmikey]

Huh?

Im sry I should clarify. It was one of the first places that the methodust movement came through

[lilmikey]

I don't believe racism runs in families although bias do. While we all have prejudices on varying levels for many things, to actually be a racist is a choice not a genetic disposition.

As for cultures, I'm not abliged to like or agree everything about every person I meet as they are not abliged to like or agree with everything about me -- the real issue is do we see a person, a real breathing human being with dreams, challenges and experiences. Until we see a person how can we love our neighbor. This concept crosses all races, religions, lifestyles. It is not racist to disagree but it is racist to devalue.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

Well I believe in gernerational curses some don't. Racism I believe is one of ours.

[Yippy]

methodust
Is that a freudian slip?;) :D



(Just kidding people...no disrespect intended...I couldn't resist:P )

[lilmikey]

Is that a freudian slip?;) :D



(Just kidding people...no disrespect intended...I couldn't resist:P )
do you mean something like deadicostals????????:D :D :D :D :D Sry I couldn't. no I cant spell it was not on purpose

[Yippy]

do you mean something like deadicostals????????:D :D :D :D :D Sry I couldn't. no I cant spell it was not on purpose

You're a good sport. If it had been misspelled any other way, I wouldn't have said anything...:D

Back to our regularly scheduled program...

[luvmyrottie]

I'm biracial-half Cherokee and half white. My husband is black. I'm used to being the only non-something in the crowd. When we moved down to South Texas it was weird, tho. It's cool because I look just like everyone else now. Everyone mistakes me for Mexican all the time, plus there are a LOT of mixed people here. But when I walk in to a place and it is all Mexican and they are all speaking Spanish, I have to admit that I feel a little uncomfortable. The guys are a lot more open about checking women out and making comments to them. I don't think it is a race thing, I think it's a cultural difference. But it makes me uncomfortable. Plus there are a lot of Latino gangs here and I worry that I will be wearing the wrong colors. But I only worry if the guys are dressed ganster. But I have to say that the white guys dressed ganster worry me just as much. You can usually tell the wannabes. But sometimes they're scarier than the real thing because you don't know how far they will go.

[lilmikey]

You're a good sport. If it had been misspelled any other way, I wouldn't have said anything...:D

Back to our regularly scheduled program...

Im somewhat Penticostal myself so Im not making fun:D