Official Orianus Creation Series thread.

[ChristChild]

Since this is the forum to post our creative works, I have decided to once again post a thread concerning my novels, short stories, and poems. I have decided to copy over updates from my website, as several of my loyal fans are also members here.

I plan on moving some of my poems and my short story from other threads and incorporating them here.

If you have no interest in Christian Science Fiction/Fantasy novels, then please ignore this thread in the future. If you like books of devotionals though, you must check out our own moderator, Jason's, book of 100 devotionals--its great! (click here) (http://www.jasonmitchener.com/)

Here is the link to my website for the novels, which has in depth information, excerpts, some artwork, etc...: Orianus Creation Series (http://www.dshaneburton.com/index.html)

Go to the page linked at the top of my index page to get a deeper idea of what my works are about.

Here is the latest update from my website. This is a copy of my "Latest News" page:

November 23, 2006 update: I have been working at my new job since October 16th. I have been focusing on that, as you can imagine. A few readers of the more standard, less complex novels of today have given me from fair to poor reviews, but I expected this eventually. I added a whole new page explaining more in depth just where my novels are coming from. I will press on anyway. A few of the previous reviewers have reassured me that they did enjoy my writing and deep worlds and not to stop writing. For now, until I finish one of the two novels I am working on, please enjoy the over half-million words I have already written for both your enjoyment and edification.

I have posted some new pieces of art related to the fantasy novel on the Main Info Page. I have finished my revision of BSR and I just need to finish a summary of the book.

I am into chapter six with 35,361 words written in my first fantasy novel, book one of the Orianus Legends. I have actually done some editing work on this book recently.

I have added Adobe (.pdf) excerpts of Black Storm Rising, When Worlds Rage, and Dark Tyrant's Ascension to their respective pages. You can also click the book-reading smilies on the index page to access them. The excerpts contain both the Historical Background and the first chapter of the novel from which they are taken.

I have recently written a short story for an ezine. Don't let its title throw you! Trust me. I only edited it twice, so it could use a bit more tweaking, but I have received positive feedback so far. They also have one of my poems up. Links are on the index page.

Book four of the Orianus Creation Series was up to 19,678 words when I set it aside.

I ask anyone that reads my novels and enjoys them to please review them on Amazon. This will help greatly. I am up to 14, 10, and 4 reviews now, respectively, for my first three novels. I really wish I could get a few more for DTA, book three. I also ask everyone to please get the word out about my novels if you are truly a fan. Struggling authors like myself need all the help we can get, as we are fighting for recognition.

Sincerely,
D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

This story has become buried on the Dreamscapes and Horizons ezine, so I decided to repost the latest version here. Don't let the title keep you from reading it. :


Headline: Jesus Dies in Heaven
by D. Shane Burton

Satan couldn't believe it. He had been trumped at the cross. Jesus had set the path for redemption to the Father for all the humans who would believe, but now something extraordinary had happened, and he just couldn't believe it!

“Phineas, tell me the news again!” Satan instructed his demonic messenger.

“Dark Lord, I have told you twice what has happened.”

“Make it three times or I'll demote you to resident demon of a pub in Amish country!”

“Okay, okay—Jesus was working on those mansions He promised His followers and He just clutched His holy chest and keeled over. All heaven has gone awry and the Father and Spirit have been thrown into a turmoil, as they were Three-In-One until recently.”

“This is impossible, Phineas!”

“I know that, but it is so... somehow. I don't understand it either.”

Satan stepped back from Phineas and began pacing. He finally snapped his fingers, pointed at Phineas, and then reasoned, “He took away the keys to death, hell, and the grave. Jesus took their sins on Himself! Now that He has truly died... are you sure, Phineas?”

“Yes, Dark Lord.”

“Okay then, shouldn't dominion over man fall back to me--legally? He can't give His followers eternal life, as He couldn't keep it for Himself. Jesus can't fulfill all the prophecies related to the church and Israel in the last days when the beast and the anti-Christ will be ascendant. He cannot return to the Earth again. He has lost His right to be the Advocate, Judge, and King, hasn't he, Phineas?”

Phineas looked bewildered, but then he thought a few moments and finally agreed, “I would think so. Since you still appear before the Godhead to bring accusations against men, maybe you should go there now and see what all this means.”

A dark, brooding look spread across Satan's face. He thought a moment more and came to a conclusion, causing the dark look to morph into a huge smile. He finally exclaimed, “I have won, Phineas! God's plan has failed! I have won! Do you hear me—I have won!”

Phineas stood aside as Satan charged forward with purpose, headed to the throne of heaven. The evil lord soon became a blur and was gone. The being who was once the highest cherub and leader of the angelic host of heaven, now sought the place he had always longed for—the very throne of God.

With mind-numbing speed Satan rose to the realm of God in the north, to heaven itself. He swept past the outer angelic guard, who milled about in confusion and wept openly. They did not challenge him. They only looked up as he passed by on his way to God's throne. Satan landed at the base of the huge dais that God's crystal throne rested upon. All he could see in the Father's place was a wavering cloud within which the Father and the Holy Spirit were intermixed. Two aspects of the Godhead, with the Third missing. Then Satan noticed the corpse of the physical body of the Son laying on the dais with one angel standing near Him. It was Michael, of course. Satan made his way up the steps and stood near to his heavenly counterpart in rank.

“Michael?” Satan asked, as the angel just stared down at Jesus' body. Michael hadn't bothered to look up as Satan approached.

Michael didn't look up now, but he responded with a question, “Satan, how could this happen?”

Satan didn't expect that. He expected the Archangel to suspect him of having something to do with this.

“I... I... don't know, Michael. I am as shocked as you.”

Michael looked up at Satan finally, with tears in his eyes. His faced gained a great intensity, but Satan could see that it wasn't directed at him. Michael finally grabbed Satan by the arms and looked directly in his eyes and asked with fervor, “Satan, how does God die!? Even just one aspect of His triune nature?”

Satan shook off Michael's grip and exclaimed, “I don't know! I don't know--but I have won! Don't you see, Michael? All Jesus accomplished is meaningless now! I have won back my rights and powers that He crushed!”

Michael looked at Satan, anger and pity at war on his face. He said nothing, turned, and looked back down at the lifeless body of the Lord. Other angels were milling about the throne in confusion. God's special creatures that tended His throne were flying about aimlessly.

Satan looked upon the surreal scene for a few moments more and finally decided that it was time--time to make his claim to the throne of God! Satan ran near to the Father and Holy Spirit, who appeared in the midst of the roiling thundercloud of energy beyond the comprehension of mere men, and even beyond Satan and the angels' ability to totally understand.

“Hear me, my former God! You have failed in Your plan! Jesus is dead—dead I say! Everything is undone! You have lost!” Then a thought struck Satan. The last time Jesus died, He had arisen three days and nights afterward. Satan suddenly became very angry and asked God, “Is He going to rise again in three days? Is this some joke at my expense!?”

Michael looked over at Satan and then rushed to his side.

Satan turned to see that his enemy stood near him, but Michael now looked up toward God with an expectant expression on his face. It seemed that the Archangel had not considered that Jesus may rise again and that this was some kind of joke on God's part.

The dark lord turned back to the Father and Holy Spirit and yelled, “Well!?”

A few moments more passed before an odd, slurred voice proceeded from God, “Not... a joke. Falling apart, I Am.”

Michael's face fell, and then he did—to his knees. His head soon rested on the dais, as he wept loudly.

“Me, me, me,” Satan said with glee, “Give me the throne and step aside! I am the greatest of Your creation and have great wisdom! I will rule, as You try to... uh... pull Yourself together... somehow.”

Lifting his head, Michael looked from God to Satan, and then back to God again, awaiting God's answer.

“It will... be as... you say, Satan. Take the... throne,” God decided.

“Noooooooooooooo!” Michael screamed, before falling on his face before the throne of God.

Satan was overjoyed. He approached the huge seat before him, as the roiling thundercloud that contained what was left of God, slowly shifted off the throne and to one side of the dais. Satan looked back at all the angels. They were all now prostrate on the ground, pulling at their hair. He found it a satisfying and amusing sight.

Satan spun his back to the Father's empty throne, and then sat down. Michael looked up at Satan and then began beating his forehead on the hard dais, drawing angelic blood. Despite Satan's glee, he said, “Michael, Michael—don't be a spoilsport. You are so melodramatic.” Michael beat his head even more fiercely in response, causing Satan to laugh.

“I will rule now!” Satan shouted to all of heaven, causing all of the angels who were not focused on him, to finally look his way. “I will run all of creation and you shall worship me as you did God!” He heard the angels groaning and looking at him in anger, but they would do nothing, as God Himself had given Satan His throne. They would not disobey their former God, thus he would now take God's place. Satan laughed at the delicious thought of it all.

Suddenly God's condition changed—the roiling thundercloud began shrinking and changing colors. Satan and the others looked on in wonder.

“Satan... it is... almost time,” God said.

“Time for what?” Satan asked with hope in his voice, “Are you checking out—completely?”

All of heaven's denizens held their breath as the answer came.

“Yes.”

All of heaven groaned, as Satan laughed maniacally.

“It will be mine, all mine!” Satan exclaimed.

Michael went back to beating his head on the dais and many angels joined him.

Satan was still cackling when God spoke again. The roiling thundercloud was so small, Satan was taller than it was wide. What was left of God was in there somewhere. Satan heard as God said again, “Satan... it is... almost time.”

“You said that before. Go ahead and die already.”

“I will... soon, but you... must take it.”

“Take what, Your power?” Satan asked with desire in his voice.

“No... My power... is almost gone.”

Satan became angry, as he wanted whatever power it was that God held, since God did turn the throne over to him. He yelled in confusion, “If You don't have any power left, then what do You want me to take? You have already given me the throne!”

The cloud grew smaller until it was almost too small to see, as God told Satan, “You... must take... control... of everything.”

“I will!”

“You don't... understand. Now you... must hold it... all together.”

“What?”

“All of... My creation.” With those last words, God disappeared completely.

Satan looked back to Michael. A look of shock spread over both their faces. Satan knew he possessed no such power—the power to hold the universe and all of reality together. The power to keep each and every part of every atom in the universe in its proper place and everything in its proper order.

Michael began looking about, which caused Satan to do the same. Satan could see the fabric of reality breaking down around him—literally. The fallen archangel and present dark lord reached out with every bit of his formidable power in an attempt to hold at least heaven together, but it was a vain attempt. It was like trying to extinguish the fire of the sun with a drop of water. He had no chance—none at all. Reality continued to come apart as Satan felt himself beginning to lose cohesion. He was melting and melding with nothingness, which was encroaching upon everyone and everything in the universe.

That was when Satan screamed, “Noooooooooooooo!”

Someone slapped him. Satan shot up into a seated position. He noticed that he had been laying on the floor of his own dwelling just before the slap. Phineas knelt next to him.

“Forgive me, Dark Lord, but you were screaming,” Phineas said.

Satan, incredibly disoriented, asked, “What? What is going on, Phineas?”

“You screamed out, so I slapped you across the face.”

“What?” Satan said with an extreme measure of confusion.

Phineas saw his dark lord's confused expression, so he explained, “You said you wanted to try this 'sleeping' that humans need to do, so you laid back on the floor here and used your considerable power to put yourself into that strange, human state. You must have also done that other thing the humans do.”

“You mean 'dreaming,' Phineas,” Satan said as he came back to reality.

“Yes, yes, Dark Lord! It appeared that you were doing something just inside of your mind.”

Satan arose and went over to the throne he had built for himself ages ago. He sat down in it, as he looked back to Phineas. He told him, “I fear God used my little experiment to tell me something. Remind me to never try this 'sleeping' again. It is very dangerous.”

“Yes, Dark Lord, but what did God tell you?”

At the question, Satan became incredibly angry. He yelled at Phineas, “That is none of your business! Now get out of my sight before I slap you much harder than you did me!”

Phineas left like a shot.

Satan sat alone on his self-made throne and answered Phineas' question in his own mind, “God showed me that if I could somehow win, I would still lose.” At that thought, Satan sat there brooding, in a dark mood, for a very long time.

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

Poems incorporated from other threads, or added new ones:

Here's an old one I dug up. This is a freeform, romantic one from book three in my series. You may have seen it before:

Echo of Heaven --

In her eyes I see the dawn
Fiery orbs open like the rising sun
Casting their inner light
Deep into my soul

Her lips soft as a baby's skin
Red and supple as the petal of a rose
They rise to meet my kiss
Giving me life with their very touch

Her raven hair drapes down
Caressing her warm and gentle face
Framing a beauty of which the poets write
Seeking its capture in verse or rhyme

Her touch, a warm and tender hold
In it, somehow, she reaches my depths
Her touch lingers and I am made strong
Her feminine grace ignites my heart

Wrapped in her passionate embrace
I can feel her heart pounding
It slowly matches rhythm
And beats in time with my own

To me, she's God's most beautiful creation
From her spirit shines a brilliant hue
And from her I receive a gift most precious
The love she gives me of her own free will

She is my echo of heaven
She is the completion of my soul
She was fashioned by the Master's hand
She was made to be my blessed love

Copyright(c)2005 by D. Shane Burton

Wierd poem time:

Lost --

I felt the Earth die
I spoke its name in darkness
Yet it was gone

I now float in the void
The ground only a memory to my feet
Yet, somehow, I exist

My eyes seek the living
Though all have gone the way of ashes
Yet I am whole

The void caresses me
Its cold embrace holds no comfort
Yet comfort I seek

God - where is He?
My planet gone and only I exist
And I wonder, why?

I don't know what is worse
The utter cold or the complete loneliness
And I wonder if it matters now?

Where did the Earth go?
Where is that giant orb, teeming with warmth and life?
And I wonder, am I dead?

Does my heart still beat?
Still beating somehow when all others have ceased?
And I wonder, how?

I see the stars
Unimaginably distant in this sea of blackness
And I feel nothing.
And I am nothing, for I am lost

Copyright(c) 2006 by D. Shane Burton

Inspired by something Corrine said:

Web --

Strong deceiving strands
Built from twisted truths
Mixed with subtle lies
Now capture your heart

Quickly snared and held
Entranced and beguiled
Caught and hanging trapped
By the deceiver

Seeking to escape
You start to struggle
Only to wrap tight
The powerful trap

The villian comes near
Fangs dripping venom
Death will be certain
Unless you are saved

So beyond yourself
You call out for aid
And a helping hand
Pulls you from the web

Not of your own strength
Came deliverance
Only a Savior
Could rescue you whole

Copyright(c) 2006 D. Shane Burton

[kiwisongbird]

Hey Shane I love the story about Satan!! i was getting a bit worried for a while!!! :)

[ChristChild]

Thanks--I'm glad you liked it. :)

I have debated whether or not to post the following poem. It is in the form of a Tolkien-style of poem and was written during a time when I had become incredibly discouraged. I share it in the hope that other writers experiencing the same thing will gain some relief in the fact that they are not alone:

Lamentation to Creativity -

The persistent pain in my mind
This great frustration that I find
A bitter pill, my vision still
My hope wasted, broken, and blind

The last curtain call for passion
My bitter end, of a fashion
My mind is bent, my heart is spent
A former, creative bastion

Lament faithful of Orianus
Cry for rejections numerous
A novel spurned, the page unturned
By those who have failed to join us

This persistent pain will abide
The frustration will not subside
Yes, now I know, that it is so
A vision, hope, and dream untried

Copyright(c)2004 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

In contrast to the way I was feeling during that last poem, today I received my sales statement for the 3rd quarter of 2006, and it was my best quarter ever for all three novels--separately or combined. This is a good sign, as most POD books fall off completely after a while, but mine are making slow gains. :) Hopefully this will continue.

Any comments or questions concerning the novels would be appreciated here.

Shane

[ChristChild]

I forgot to mention that I do have a short story involving two of the main characters in my upcoming Christian Fantasy novel, namely Crag the Dwarf and Shar the Verdani. If enough people are interested, I may post it here. You would have to like medieval-style fantasy to enjoy it.

Shane

[SirMax]

In contrast to the way I was feeling during that last poem, today I received my sales statement for the 3rd quarter of 2006, and it was my best quarter ever for all three novels--separately or combined. This is a good sign, as most POD books fall off completely after a while, but mine are making slow gains. :) Hopefully this will continue.

Any comments or questions concerning the novels would be appreciated here.

Shane


That's fabulous Shane! I printed this thread out at work today so I can read it tomorrow (didn't have the time today).

And I would love to read your short story.

[ChristChild]

Thanks, Captain Wendy! ;)

Well, that's one vote for the short story. :)

Shane

[SirMax]

Thanks, Captain Wendy! ;)

Well, that's one vote for the short story. :)

Shane


LOL!!! I highlighted that in my book...yes I show people that I'm in the book!

[ChristChild]

Yes, Captain Wendy Seeshawn, a Verdani spacecraft captain, if I remember correctly. Sorry, but I have the fantasy story filling my mind at the moment.

I have been editing the short story, which is only 1046 words right now. The short story I posted above is a little over 2000, so this one is short. My brother actually did some artwork of the two characters, which is on the Main Info page on my website.

That's cool about highlighting your namesake. :cool: :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

I have reduced the artwork down for the Fantasy characters so I can post it here. I will post my brother's drawing of Crag first:

[ChristChild]

This is Shar, whose full name is Sharanee, though Crag calls him Shar all the time. He has what I call an Urgh coming up behind him.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Well, that's one vote for the short story. :)
Make that two votes, Shane. :)

[ChristChild]

Make that two votes, Shane. :)

Cool! I like the number three, so I'll post it if I get one more vote. :D

Shane

[Jason]

*enters polling booth*

Hmm, tough decision. Okay, I vote that Shane posts it.

[ChristChild]

Okay, it was a close election, but it was voted in. :cool: Now, you must like medieval-style fantasy action to like this short tale:

Episode One of the Travels of Crag and Shar

Jumped

The beast's mouth smelled like an open grave. A wave of putrid air rolled over Crag as he barely dodged the huge creature's snapping jaws. If it caught him, the hargel's short, taloned arms would rip him apart as the beast's dagger-like teeth held him in place or chewed him up.

A swish and a whack sounded close by as Crag rolled away, but then regained his feet. He looked just in time to see his friend, Shar, strike one of the great beast's legs with his El-Elar (Elven) sword. His jade green friend barely put a mark on the beast's tough hide. Crag watched as Shar's golden eyes opened wide in surprise at the beast's apparent toughness. The huge hargel turned toward Shar and bellowed a loud cry. All Shar had done was anger it. Shar was a Verdani. Members of his Verdan race were known for their speed, great eyesight, and great reflexes, but mainly for their deer-like antlers that protruded from beneath their usually green-black hair. Crag thought that Shar should use some of his vaunted Verdani speed--and soon. Crag's bearded, tanned face contorted into a snarl. He didn't believe he could distract the beast in time, though he tried anyway. Crag, a fully-armored Dwarven warrior, yelled and charged the beast's other massive, rear leg as he raised his war hammer high.

The beast only glanced at Crag momentarily then looked back at Shar and lunged, while also whipping its tail at Crag. Crag redirected his blow and met the swinging tail with all his strength. His hammer just managed to soften the tremendous blow he received. He was thrown only about ten feet away instead of twenty-five. He flipped over once, his three leather-wrapped ponytails flapping in the breeze. As he landed, his three beard “tails,” each fastened near their end with a small, Dwarven medallion, impacted against his chest plate with a loud crack.

Shar ducked his round shield under him and rolled beneath the huge beast. Its mouth snapped down at him, barely missing. He had managed to cut through the short, black fur that covered the beast, but its thick hide beneath the hair had only been scratched. His blow had not been full strength though, as he had sought to quickly distract the beast from biting Crag. Shar now lay beneath the belly of the beast, between its thick legs that the beast walked upright upon. The beast's body tipped forward and its huge tail was used for balance. The beast looked to that bruised tail now. Shar knew it would be difficult to pierce the creature's thick hide. Shar wore a protective suit made from a tritonodin's hide and had seen firsthand how it could deflect sword strikes. The hargel's hide beneath its hair must be similar, so Shar struck with the fine point of his El-Elar blade and all his strength, hoping it would be enough.

Crag, stunned, sat up in the bushes. He watched as Shar, now laying under the hargel, struck upward into its belly. Crag rose shakily and hefted his war hammer. He watched the beast suddenly leap into the air--up and forward. It landed about ten feet away from Shar and scratched at a small, deep wound on its belly with its small, but deadly arms. It seemed confused for a moment, but then it looked back at Shar in anger. It roared, as Shar stood to run. Crag noticed a slight amount of hargel blood dripping from Shar's prized Elven sword. Crag knew Shar had done some damage, but he wasn't sure if Shar would get far now. Crag reared back and then pitched his war hammer with all his strength as he prayed, “Almighty, please guide me aim.”

Shar scrambled to his feet. The hargel was now out for blood even more so than before. Shar saw a deep anger in the beast's large eyes as it dipped its big head and charged. Its skull's five, conical horns were pointing forward. They would skewer him easily. Shar burst into a full run while glancing back over his shoulder--the beast was gaining ground. Suddenly, a blur from the beast's right side struck the creature. The hargel stopped immediately and stood there. To Shar, the scene played out in slow motion. He saw the stunned look in the hargel's eyes and watched him pause, and then he saw Crag's large war hammer bounce lazily off the hargel's thick skull and spin slowly to the ground. Abruptly, time snapped back to normal. Shar noticed the hargel's unfocused eyes, and then he watched as the beast took three awkward steps sideways before disappearing. The hargel had fallen down a steep grade and into a ravine. They had been walking near it just before the beast jumped them. Shar made his way to the ravine wall's edge and peered over it. Crag was soon at Shar's side, after he retrieved his war hammer.

“Good throw, friend Crag,” Shar commented.

“Aye, and a nice stab on ye part,” Crag said in return.

They both watched as the beast, some thirty feet below them, quickly shook off Crag's last blow. It stood and peered up the steep wall of the ravine, which was only twice its height.

Both men stepped back out of sight, and Shar asked, “Crag, you are the more experienced fighter and woodsman here. Can a hargel jump twice its height?”

“I know not, Shar. I think it be best if we go now,” Crag advised. The Dwarf then placed his war hammer in the sling upon his back, just before he turned and sprinted up the path along the top of the ravine.

Shar shifted his shield onto his back, sheathed his sword, and then quickly joined Crag. Shar finally commented, “Yes, I agree, Crag. A retreat would be wise. The beast may soon find a way up, and I have no wish to battle it again for no good reason.”

“Aye, ye are learnin' Shar,” Crag explained, “Some battles ye need fight, and some battles ye choose to fight, but tis the wise warrior who knows which battles to fight not at all.”

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Very good. :) You've got some wise voters, Shane. ;)

[ChristChild]

Thanks. :) It's just a short adventure, but it's a snapshot of the characters and has a point at the end.

Shane

[Jason]

Well written, friend. And a good point indeed.

[ChristChild]

Thank thee, Sir Jason--now I must be off to bed! :D :)

Shane

[SirMax]

I had Brian read "Jesus Dies In Heaven" about a month ago. He gave it back and said he didn't want to read it (thought it was heresy)....I told him to read it! He enjoyed it. I love it. Might have to read it to my Sunday School class!

And your poem "Lamentation to Creativity" brought tears to my eyes. Only God knows why you are going through this period of your life. You have a gift...keep using it.

[Salome]

Shane, I'm going to print-out the two short stories you've posted here to read in the 1 1/2 hour car ride I'm taking today (no, I'm not the driver :p ). But I have to say I love Echo of Heaven. May I have your permission to copy it to another forum I belong to? I think the girls there would love it too. Anywho, I love love love the pics your brother drew. MORE! MORE! MORE! How does he draw the characters you've created?

[ChristChild]

I had Brian read "Jesus Dies In Heaven" about a month ago. He gave it back and said he didn't want to read it (thought it was heresy)....I told him to read it! He enjoyed it. I love it. Might have to read it to my Sunday School class!

And your poem "Lamentation to Creativity" brought tears to my eyes. Only God knows why you are going through this period of your life. You have a gift...keep using it.

Ha! I titled it that way to make people say "What!?" That is why I always tell them not to let the title throw them--that it is a Christian short story. The version I have posted here has been slightly edited from the version you printed out before. Please read it to anyone you like, especially a Sunday School class. :)

The "Lamentation to Creativity" poem was written back in 2004, which was my worst sales year. I have become discouraged since then, but not to the same degree. I think writing about how I was feeling helped me at the time. I'm okay now--really. :) Thanks for caring. My first trilogy is under my belt, and despite a few rough reviews lately, I will press on.

Shane

[ChristChild]

Shane, I'm going to print-out the two short stories you've posted here to read in the 1 1/2 hour car ride I'm taking today (no, I'm not the driver :p ). But I have to say I love Echo of Heaven. May I have your permission to copy it to another forum I belong to? I think the girls there would love it too. Anywho, I love love love the pics your brother drew. MORE! MORE! MORE! How does he draw the characters you've created?

I do not mind that you post any of my poems or stories anywhere you like, but please add the Copyright(c)200? by D. Shane Burton line to them. This will allow people to search for my name online if they like my stuff. Even better would be to link my name to my website, or if you post the link to the website. I am considering archiving my poems on my website, so that it's clear they were written by me. The Echo of Heaven poem was actually published as a part of Dark Tyrant's Ascension. If you have the book handy, it is on page 399.

My brother is an excellent artist. He has won prizes at parish (county) fairs before. He is also an excellent writer and has a Christian Science Fiction/Fantasy novel out titled Journey Into the Gateway of Dimensions. He is a busy high school teacher, so he has little time to promote his novel online. He also wins awards in his profession. If any of you are familiar with the Milken Educator Award, he has won that, and also teacher of the year at his school. He also did one more drawing for me. It is of Lord Daroth, a major villian of my series, back when he was ruler of ancient Azzria. I'll add a small version of it to this post, but the large versions of all the drawings are on my website.

I have only written the one romantic poem. Maybe I should try to write more? Maybe I should try to write a romance novel, since they're so popular? :D Nah--you have to write about things you know, and I've not had much luck with the ladies. ;)

Lord Daroth in his Azzrian years:

[ChristChild]

The next poem was written in response to the people you run across who you find out are not genuine, but just use you:

Ashes --

I walk the ashes
Of those who once lived
I trod the remains
Of those who've passed on
They are long dead now
Ages dead and gone

Now the pretenders
The crafty users
Insidious, sly
Come alongside me
But all of their dust
I shake off, then go

They flashed me a smile
While hiding their fangs
But time--my old friend
Has opened my eyes
So now I see them
As they truly are

I walk the ashes
Of those who still live
Yet are dead to me
I brush them aside
To sweep clean my life
Of human refuse

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[SirMax]

I like that one...unfortunately it reminds me of people in my life.

[ChristChild]

I like that one...unfortunately it reminds me of people in my life.

It was not just an exercise in theme for me either--it was prompted by people (formerly) in my life as well. The kind that only listen as far as they think it will gain them an opening to use you. The gospel falls on deaf ears with them, though they may play along to take advantage of you--for a season--until you see their true colors.

Shane

[SirMax]

It was not just an exercise in theme for me either--it was prompted by people (formerly) in my life as well. The kind that only listen as far as they think it will gain them an opening to use you. The gospel falls on deaf ears with them, though they may play along to take advantage of you--for a season--until you see their true colors.

Shane


Yep sounds familiar.

Keep 'em coming. You know I don't really like poetry but your poetry makes sense to me so I have enjoyed reading what you post.

[ChristChild]

The next poem is also published on the Dreamscapes and Horizons ezine:

A Kind of Writer --

I write of the new worlds
That fill up my daydreams
I weave stories from my
Imagination's thread

I seek to bring your mind
To a fantastic place
I desire to pull you
Down the road untraveled

I write the essence of
Intriguing characters
I make them feel real as
They tug at your heart strings

A novel releases
A fresh world of wonder
As the chapters unfold
And the story deepens

There within the drama
Are truths manifesting
They speak to the spirit
And stir the conscience

I now pray to the Lord
His guidance continues
As I write the words that
Prompt inner dialogue

Now, who am I, you ask?
A struggling author
But truly I am this--
A parable writer

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

Well, I said I would keep an update going here, so for November 25, 2006, I report that I have actually written the first section of chapter seven of my fantasy novel. I am up to 36,125 words now.

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Wow, that's a lot of words. Makes you stop and think about just how much you read.

[ChristChild]

You need almost triple that for an average novel, and my novels are usually six times that long, so I have a lot of writing left. :D :)

I have updated my website and added my short story about Crag and Shar there.

I also thought I should post a picture of the covers of my novels here:

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Yeah, I know it takes a lot of words to write a book, but I don't stop and think very often about just how many. Definite mind boggler. For me anyway. :D

Nice covers. I need to tell my brother about your books. I know he'd enjoy them.

[ChristChild]

Nice covers. I need to tell my brother about your books. I know he'd enjoy them.

Thanks, and that would be cool. :)

I dug up another story piece that I was writing as an exercise in fantasy literature. I may as well post it:

Gilead's Cold Quest

The cold gripped him like a vise as his chest rose and fell in rhythm with his tortured gasps. He had fought well, but the second ice-beast would soon return with others of its ilk. One creature lay dead at his feet with a gash through the right side of its neck. Its purple blood stained the snow that now quickly covered its stiffening corpse. Its long, white hair, which covered its large, wolf-like body, began to blend in with the deepening snow. Gilead looked closely at the large, bat-like face of the creature and wondered if it could drink blood if it so desired, instead of just tearing its prey to pieces and gorging on it. Its fangs were as enormous as the claws on its feet. Large lines of dented and scratched furrows upon his chest plate were testament to the beast’s power and ferocity.

Gilead broke from staring at the creature and whistled loudly for his horse. There was no longer the need for quiet, as the ice-beasts had already found him. The second, wounded beast would know precisely where to return to. Their sense of smell and direction was uncanny.

From out of a small stand of evergreens, his horse, Spirit’s Wind, trudged through the snow toward him. The horse had kicked the nearest ice-beast during the attack, but soon Gilead had been knocked from the saddle by one of the ice-beasts, despite his slashing sword. Gilead had then shouted the command for the mare to retreat. If she were killed in the conflict, he would have to travel alone, on foot, in the snow, for much too long to survive.

Gilead mounted quickly, and then prodded his mare back to the nearby trail. He spurred her to the fastest speed he thought safe in the conditions, and then prayed that the ice-beast’s fellows were a far distance away.

“I have no time for this delay,” Gilead thought in frustration. “If I do not set foot in Roderick’s home within two days time, it may be too late.”

He was determined. Gilead would kill every ice-beast from Lollantia to the Carpathian Wastes if he had to! He knew that Roderick would lend him the blessed hammer, and two days was all the time he could spare before he must head for Sandford’s Gap. If he didn’t meet the challenge, and on time, they may kill Sir Rothbane’s daughter. They may kill her anyway, but he would do all he could to prevent it.

“Despair not, Elena, despair not,” Gilead thought. “I will find a way to win your freedom and cut that brute of a man down to size!”

The knight reflected on the legendary and self-proclaimed Lord of Bandits, John Garsone. The man towered above most common men, and there was always the speculation being bandied about that he was half Ogre. Gilead didn’t entirely disagree with that supposition.

Gilead thought assuredly, “No matter—Roderick’s hammer, won at so high a price, will add to the strength and speed of my arm! Let the Lord of Bandits fight me at his peril!” He then wondered if his bravado was a response to his fear, or if he truly thought the blessed hammer would enable him to prevail? He sat up straighter in the saddle, as his horse trudged along the snowy trail. He told himself that the latter was true... he certainly hoped it was true.

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[RevZeek]

Shane, I must say my friend that I am enjoying your novels immensely. I am finished with BSR and am about 175 pages through WWR.
It took me 6 months but we have copies of these books in the Charleston County Public library system now.
I just received DTA today and am looking forward to reading it as well. It's really cool to tell folks "Oh yeah, the author's a buddy of mine from the 3D boards!" I hope to review on Amazon soon.
Thanks for all you do my friend.
-Zack
PS: I'm not sure if we've talked about it before but I've been working on a historical fiction novel for boys (4-6 grades) and have finally finished my initial research and hope to start writing soon! Thanks for the inspiration!

[ChristChild]

I am glad that you like them. I have had some fair to poor reviews recently. Yes, if at all possible, please review them on Amazon. Your enjoyment is especially welcome coming from someone who actually works in a library. I also thank you for making the effort to get them on the shelves there. :)

I wish you the Lord's blessing and guidance on writing the historical fiction novel. Once you finish it, you will look back and know that all the research and effort was worth it. You're welcome--for the inspiration. :)

Thanks again, friend--I truly do appreciate your efforts, Zack! :) :cool: :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

Well, I have received review #15 for BSR on Amazon. It was yet another person who just doesn't get the non-standard focus of the novel in not completely narrowing in on just one character. With all the people who like Star Wars and LOTR, I find this somewhat befuddling. Though the person gave me a 4/5, the review comments were mostly negative. :( They thought the writing was formal (???). I think my writing is anything but formal. It's odd how different people see the same book so differently. This trend has become a great downer for me lately. I just can't get into my writing anymore. It seems there is no one reading any of my novels lately that actually like them. If they do have some, they are not bothering to review it to help me fight the negative reviews.

Suffice it to say--I'm bummed out.

:(

Shane

[RevZeek]

Just for the record Shane....that wasn't me, I haven't posted my review yet.

[ChristChild]

I know--they have their name as a reviewer--I just didn't mention it. The point was the lack of anyone who actually likes it, posting a review lately. I'm just surprised that--all of a sudden--after the first book has been out over three years, now I am getting just fair to poor reviews. :(

Actually, Zack, you are the only new person I have heard from in a while, who actually likes them.

Shane

[ChristChild]

Buried Tome --

Oh, naivety--
New passion burns bright
Yet in a brief time
Rejection cuts you

The heart bleeds and flows
A torrent of dreams
Spill forth and languish
In disinterest

Wasted, lost, and cold
Little breath remains
In a choking grasp
Obscurity's hold

Its light is ignored
A book passed over
But its message yet
Holds power and life

The deep, buried tome
Now remains hidden
It's rarely unearthed
Though some still seek it

Only a few find
Its fertile landscapes
All preserved within
Its dusty covers

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[Mr.Elwood]

Well, I have received review #15 for BSR on Amazon. It was yet another person who just doesn't get the non-standard focus of the novel in not completely narrowing in on just one character. With all the people who like Star Wars and LOTR, I find this somewhat befuddling. Though the person gave me a 4/5, the review comments were mostly negative. :( They thought the writing was formal (???). I think my writing is anything but formal. It's odd how different people see the same book so differently. This trend has become a great downer for me lately. I just can't get into my writing anymore. It seems there is no one reading any of my novels lately that actually like them. If they do have some, they are not bothering to review it to help me fight the negative reviews.

Suffice it to say--I'm bummed out.

:(

ShaneI’ll remind you again… because I think everyone else here needs to re-read this too.

There is a huge difference between what you are writing and what the Left Behind, Ted Dekker crowd are currently used to.

Those other books are formulistic and mostly predictable. They stay within the new world Christian movement and don’t tend to stray into areas that might be difficult for the reader to grasp. They can dress up the characters or situations all they want, but in general those books follow a predicable set of plots and character development that always ends the same.

Your books are not an easy read for people stuck in the previously mentioned formulas. You characters fail and recover; you introduce demons and angels; and your characters die unceremoniously. The great epic battles don’t glorify the characters and the death of evil is not some great spectacular fireworks show.

Those who see the truth in the words truly enjoy, and become attached to, your books. Those that expected more Sunday preached normal Christianity have a hard time getting into the guts of your stories. It not easy for some to put Biblical truths into a fantasy genre where there are no typical guideposts for the average reader to say “oh yeah, I know that part of the Bible”...etc.

Don’t take it to heart.. Keep doing what you do because there are people that do get it and it brings us joy to read your writing.

[sandie]

Rob: That is such a wonderfully encouraging post for Shane to read. :) Bless you.

[ChristChild]

Whoa, Rob--that was deep! :eek:

Thanks for the insight. It really does help me a great deal. It is easy to forget things like you mentioned when you continue to receive negative reviews over an extended time period, with no new positive, encouraging ones.

Thanks again,
Shane

[ChristChild]

December 17, 2006 update:

I am up to 37,055 words now in my fantasy book. Hopefully I will write more consistently now.

Shane

[SirMax]

December 17, 2006 update:

I am up to 37,055 words now in my fantasy book. Hopefully I will write more consistently now.

Shane

saving my money to buy it!

[ChristChild]

Well, that is probably only a fifth of the way through the book, so you'll have a long time to save. :D

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

Well, that is probably only a fifth of the way through the book, so you'll have a long time to save. :D

Shane
or you could simply sacrifice more of your life to finishing the book to appease us??:p :D :p

[ChristChild]

or you could simply sacrifice more of your life to finishing the book to appease us??:p :D :p

Okay, okay--I am now at 38,520 words! I'm working on it! :D ;) :)

Shane

[sandie]

Shane: Please don't appease Rob, or do anything else for him. It only encourages him. :p

[ChristChild]

Shane: Please don't appease Rob, or do anything else for him. It only encourages him. :p

LOL! :D

I know everyone likes to kid around and "argue" back and forth with Rob, but, in all honesty, he has been a great encouragement to me over the years. Receiving support from someone who has read thousands of novels is no trivial thing. I think Rob is much deeper than either he lets on, or people give him credit for.

Shane

[sandie]

Shane: I agree wholeheartedly. I've never met Rob, but we PM each other sometimes, and I also appreciate the depth of his faith, his intelligence and his caring nature. Rob has also encouraged me with his words. :)

This doesn't mean that he gets an easy time from me on the Boards, however. :p

[Mr.Elwood]

excuse me.. I need to go barf...

That Rob dude sounds like a sissy-boy..

[sandie]

Please barf alone. You'll get no support here, Rob. ;) :p

[Mr.Elwood]

Please barf alone.
well duh...:rolleyes:

Like I'm gonna share...:rolleyes:

[sandie]

LOL. And barfing is one of your better personal habits, Smellwood. :p You can keep em all to yourself.

I think I feel a hijack coming on. Apologies to Shane in advance. :D

[ChristChild]

December 19, 2006 update:

I have finished chapter seven and have reached 40,151 words. :)

Questions, comments, feedback?

Shane

[sandie]

Good, glad you're writing, again, Shane. :)

[Mr.Elwood]

December 19, 2006 update:

I have finished chapter seven and have reached 40,151 words. :)

Questions, comments, feedback?

Shane
um... type Faster? Skip meals to get more typing in? Take a week of sick time to get more typing in?

I have more, but you get the idea...:D :p :D

[sandie]

Rob's volunteered to help you with the housework on weekends, so you can keep typing, Shane. :p

Just keep the instructions really simple.

[ChristChild]

Ha, the skipping meals wouldn't hurt me, but I don't have a week of sick time to use. :)

Rob has already helped me by getting the word out about my novels more than anyone else I know, so he can skip the housework help. ;)

What I really would like is for ANYONE who has read them lately and really enjoyed them to PLEASE put up a review to counteract some of the recent, critical ones on Amazon. The people who didn't care for them as much as others seemed to wait to post their reviews just before the Christmas season, which hurt my sales.

Shane

[Jason]

What I really would like is for ANYONE who has read them lately and really enjoyed them to PLEASE put up a review to counteract some of the reason critical ones on Amazon. The people who didn't care for them as much as others seemed to wait to post their reviews just before the Christmas season, which hurt my sales.

Shane

I don't think I'm allowed to review them twice. :D

[ChristChild]

I wish you could, Jason. ;) :)

Here is yet another poem:

Old Corpse --

In this place where the world ends
In the middle of the flow of time
I sit, alone

Thinking upon the end of all things
But then I realize it is not so
The End, I mean

He is everlasting, eternal
And so am I with Him
In Christ

Without Him I would go on forever
Though without Christ
Existing in Death

Speak into the void now before you die
Call out with your heart's voice
To the Savior

You will become alive unto Him
Your former life a dark memory
An old corpse

An old corpse fading in the sands of time
Dragging at your new man
Until You go home

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

An old poem from 2004:

Live and Believe --

Breathe, so the shadows do not fall over you
Breathe, let life remain in your body and soul
Breathe, though it is painful for you to do so
Breathe, so your life's ember continues to burn

Reach, for the only One who can heal you
Reach, to the only God Above All
Reach, for His arms want to hold you
Reach, He will strengthen you now

Strive, His power will yet sustain you
Strive, to learn what He is trying to teach
Strive, to give up now will not profit you
Strive, for ending it will not fix the pain

Believe, He has in mind what's best for you
Believe, He will bring you through or take you home
Believe, He has the greatest of love for you
Believe, you are never alone

Copyright(c)2004 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

I have been doing some editing lately on both my fantasy novel and on book four of the OCS.

I have seven chapters and 40,145 words written in the fantasy novel.

I am into chapter four at 19,821 words in book four of the OCS.

Shane

[lilmikey]

What kind of fantasy is it? Do you think my local library carries it?

[RevZeek]

What kind of fantasy is it? Do you think my local library carries it?

Shane I hope you don't mind me taking a swing at this one...

You probably need to submit a form for your local library to purchase it. Here we call it a "Suggestion for purchase" form. The more people you get to request it/them the better your chances of having it added to the library. Since Shane's books aren't (yet) published by one of the more major publishin companies, most libraries aren't going to even see his work offered in their catalogs. They use Baker and Taylor, Brodart, and a lot of others...I would ask at the reference desk in your local library and see if you can get the items through inter-library loan.
The only way I can guarantee you'll get it is if you order it off of Amazon.
-Zack
your local librarian!

PS: Shane, apparently you have to order something now to post a review. I'll do so as soon as I have some $$$...I'm sure you understand!:eek:

[ChristChild]

I've never heard about one having to order the book from Amazon to review it there, but you do have to sign in to post a review. The easiest way to get the sign in deal to pop up is by clicking on, let's say, Jason's review as being helpful, which is a question below the review. The email and password screen to sign in will then pop up. Once you are signed in, you should be able to post a review.

If anyone wants to know more about my novels, I have background info and adobe reader excerpts on my website--(here) (http://www.geocities.com/dsburton_1999/index.html). Be patient, as it's a free site and there is a pop-up ad and frame. Just "x" out of the ad, and then shift the frame to the side. All the info is on there.

Zack is right about the novels having to be requested at the library or bought online at Amazon or BAMM. Most Christian publishers do not want the type of epic, complex, and large novels I am writing, especially considering they are sci-fi/fantasy and not the new hot "thriller" type that is the pet genre of Christian publishers at the moment.

Shane

[ChristChild]

Failings --

A stray thought
An old memory
Dredged up from a long time ago

Pain and disgust
Then rise hand in hand
At your resurfaced sins and shameful past

That old set of irons
Will shackle your spirit
And refocus your thoughts on a forgiven wrong

Though long ago confessed
It burns in your psyche
And becomes a damaging tool in the enemy's hand

Call on the Lord
Remember once again
That he has already paid the debt for your sin

Satan's minions rise up
They seek to bind you
But resist the devil and he will surely flee

Do not allow the fallen
To use your own memories
As piercing daggers with which to wound your soul

Keep your mind set
On the God Above All
Not on your past failings from times of old

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

I went on a writing spree in book four of the OCS. I am now up to 22,260 words in that one. I should have gone to bed long ago.

Goodnight,
Shane

[SirMax]

I went on a writing spree in book four of the OCS. I am now up to 22,260 words in that one. I should have gone to bed long ago.

Goodnight,
Shane


It's about time.....I need something good to read;) :p

[RevZeek]

I've got to say. I just finished DTA and all I can say is :eek:
It was a total clincher for me Shane. I couldn't put the book down. I was up until like 2 am I just couldn't sleep without knowing what happened to Sir Bruce, Galesh, etc.

Thanks for these novels my friend!
Love ya!
Zack

[ChristChild]

I've got to say. I just finished DTA and all I can say is :eek:
It was a total clincher for me Shane. I couldn't put the book down. I was up until like 2 am I just couldn't sleep without knowing what happened to Sir Bruce, Galesh, etc.

Thanks for these novels my friend!
Love ya!
Zack

Sweet! :cool: This reaction and the effect it had on you were the main things I wanted people to experience when I wrote DTA and the others. If you ever are able to sign in at Amazon, please express your feelings there.

Thanks, and I'm very happy you enjoyed how the trilogy came out. I was up many late nights to 2 AM writing various sections of the book, so I guess your reading spree was fitting.

Your bro in Christ,
Shane

PS: Now I only need several hundred thousand more people who feel the same... :D

[ChristChild]

I finished up the end of chapter four in book four of the OCS. It now weighs in at 22,973 words. I also came up with a book title, but seeing as how I don't want the title swiped before I finish the novel, I'll just refer to book four now by its initials, DSE. :D :p :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

Well, I just received my worst review ever for BSR on Amazon here (http://www.amazon.com/Black-Storm-Rising-Shane-Burton/dp/1591604664/sr=1-1/qid=1168698826/ref=sr_1_1/104-4676850-7770342?ie=UTF8&s=books). I guess the reviewer didn't like that I stand for what I believe in and that I incorporated that into the book. She has the audacity to be offended by my stand in the novel for my "theology," but I guess it would be fine if I backed her theology, though she seemed to want none at all. A great Christian attitude--right. :rolleyes:

To the guys and gals who have reviewed the novel--they do have a "comment" link below each review. It is there if you feel like saying something but have already reviewed the book. You who have read them know what my novels stand for and could say something. If I say anything, it's just the author defending his work. I really need help from my supporters now.

I really, really, really, need someone who liked the novel to post a new review which refutes a lot of the negative points made.

Shane

[ChristChild]

Since the last three posts have been my own and no one really seems interested anymore, I'm closing this thread. I know help on Amazon won't be forthcoming anyway. I'm tired of asking and hoping.

Peace out,
Shane

[Jason]

*re-opens thread*

Ahem. I just posted this comment on the bad review on Amazon:

D. Shane Burton's theology is, as C. S. Lewis called it, mere Christianity. Burton states up front that this is a Christian story and to see it as pushing a particular brand of Christian thought does it a disservice.

[ChristChild]

Thanks, Jason.

[Jason]

Thanks, Jason.

You're welcome.

[ChristChild]

The man sat in his high tower, peering out its arched window into darkness. The stars, cold and distant, were his companions on this cold night. About him lay years of work, penned by his own hand. They had once been stacked neatly, but were now scattered asunder. The light of a single candle illuminated his drawn face as he sat in a chair before a table--the candle its only resident. His books were on the floor, cast about, as though they had once fought their way off the table, and then lay where they had landed, be it open or closed. A gentle wind blew in from the arched, open passage to outside. The candle's flame flickered, but did not go out. The man's hair moved slightly, though his face remained sullen and impassive. The pages of several open books flipped over in the breeze, but only a few, before they fell back to rest. A small spider crawled across the edge of the table--the arachnid displaying the only volitional movement in his dull surroundings. Suddenly the man blinked, shattering the illusion that he was some strange statue in a wooden chair. The spider was so alarmed he raced off the table's edge, and then crawled upside-down on its underside. The man, unperturbed, stared straight ahead into the night beyond the window. His dreams lay strewn about his feet, out of his sight, moving no one and only being moved themselves by an errant gust of wind. Vibrant worlds, peoples, and adventures lay silent within the dying room, as the weary man sat morosely staring into a dark and distant sky.

[Jason]

And as he gazed at the stars, he was struck by a vision. A vision greater than himself. Each of those stars became readers of his words. As they read they became brighter, bringing warmth to planets unseen.

[ChristChild]

And as he gazed at the stars, he was struck by a vision. A vision greater than himself. Each of those stars became readers of his words. As they read they became brighter, bringing warmth to planets unseen.

Ah, Jason--I knew you, of all people, would understand. If only your ending would manifest itself and ring true.

Thanks,
Shane

[Jason]

Ah, Jason--I knew you, of all people, would understand. If only your ending would manifest itself and ring true.

Thanks,
Shane

Let's pray that it does ... for both of us.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

I would dearly love to read your books, Shane, but as always money is a problem. I have no extra to spend. That's why I've enjoyed reading everything you post on here.

So, I guess this is my attempt to bring you some encouragement. Hope it fulfills that goal. :)

[ChristChild]

Let's pray that it does ... for both of us.

Aye!

Within his heart there raged a fire, which could melt hardened steel
Yet twas hidden from the masses, its heat they could not feel.

Shane

[ChristChild]

I would dearly love to read your books, Shane, but as always money is a problem. I have no extra to spend. That's why I've enjoyed reading everything you post on here.

So, I guess this is my attempt to bring you some encouragement. Hope it fulfills that goal. :)

Your honest intent means a great deal to me. Bug your local library to order them. :)

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Your honest intent means a great deal to me. Bug your local library to order them. :)

Shane
That's an idea. :) But first I'll have to start going there more. ;)

[Jason]

Aye!

Within his heart there raged a fire, which could melt hardened steel
Yet twas hidden from the masses, its heat they could not feel.

Shane

Amen!

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat
(Yes, I have lost my mind...)

On a warm, spring afternoon, Scamper--as he was affectionately called by his keeper, Mrs. Hildebrandt--sat on a windowsill and stared out into the yard. He looked out at the world before him like a king surveying his lands.

Breaking his stare, Scamper suddenly lifted his right paw and licked it ferociously, as though its cleaning were tied to his continued existence.

"Scamper, do you want out?" the pleasant voice of his keeper resounded.

Scamper froze in his licking, as though some court jester had intruded upon a meeting of state. His dignity came under assault again when his keeper snatched him from the windowsill, and then began carrying him in one arm. Scamper resisted the urge to shred the huge, but simple human, limb from limb. He remembered that he must make allowances for the woman's lack of understanding of all things "Cat."

Scamper hung limply in her arm. At least she was releasing him into the wild beyond the giant door. Many adventures awaited him this bright morning. He perked up in anticipation as she turned the door's great knob.

_________________________ _________________________ _______

To be continued,
Shane

[Jason]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat
(Yes, I have lost my mind...)

On a warm, spring afternoon, Scamper--as he was affectionately called by his keeper--Mrs. Hildebrandt, sat on a windowsill and stared out into the yard. He looked out at the world before him like a king surveying his lands.

Breaking his stare, Scamper suddenly lifted his right paw and licked it ferociously, as though its cleaning were tied to his continued existence.

"Scamper, do you want out?" the pleasant voice of his keeper resounded.

Scamper froze in his licking, as though some court jester had intruded upon a meeting of state. His dignity came under assault again when his keeper snatched him from the windowsill, and then began carrying him in one arm. Scamper resisted the urge to shred the huge, but simple human, limb from limb. He remembered that he must make allowances for the woman's lack of understanding of all things "Cat."

Scamper hung limply in her arm. At least she was releasing him into the wild beyond the giant door. Many adventures awaited him this bright morning. He perked up in anticipation as she turned the door's great knob.

_________________________ _________________________ _______

To be continued,
Shane

Love the shredding image. :D

[ChristChild]

I thought you might. :D Wait until I get to his confrontation with the squirrel. ;) :D :)

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Love the shredding image. :D
Me too. :D

[Jason]

I thought you might. :D Wait until I get to his confrontation with the squirrel. ;) :D :)

Shane

Oh my. :eek: :p

[ChristChild]

Actually, Scamper is the cat pictured in Jason's "Girl and Cat" artwork in another thread. The little girl would be Mrs. Hildebrandt's daughter, Chloe. :)

Shane

[Jason]

Actually, Scamper is the cat pictured in Jason's "Girl and Cat" artwork in another thread. The little girl would be Mrs. Hildebrandt's daughter, Chloe. :)

Shane

*illustrates*

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat continued...

Scamper hit the ground running--a gray streak, headed for his favorite oak tree to climb. The words of caution from his keeper were heard by his sharp ears, but went ignored.

When Scamper was finally perched in the nook of the tree where the main branches forked, he turned to see Mrs. Hildebrandt close the door.

Suddenly, cleaning his right paw was of the utmost importance again. He lay there scraping his rough tongue across it, oblivious to the new action down in the yard.

Several moments passed before Scamper caught a blur of motion with his blue-gray eyes.

"Ah," Scamper thought, "Excellent! One of the bushy-tailed rats that so brashly invade my yard! The villain will pay this time." With those thoughts, Scamper spun his body into a hunting stance within the crook of the small oak. His ears stood up straight and pivoted toward the interloper. His eyes kept perfect movement with the bold, bushy-tailed rat. He flicked his own tail in anticipation of his eventual and perfectly-timed leap onto the ground, which would then flow directly into his swift and expert charge of the offending rodent!

_________________________ _________________________ __

To be continued,
Shane

[ChristChild]

Ah, yes--tis Chloe and Scamper! :D :)

[sandie]

I'm appreciating the language, and wish I could write like this. Keep going, Shane. :)

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat continued...

In a gray blur, Scamper leaped from the tree. He hit the ground running, low and fast, heading directly for the thieving, bushy-tailed villain!

At the last moment, the villain spun his white-bellied form toward Scamper and dropped the acorn he held within his two, small paws. Scamper unceremoniously plowed into the invader, causing them both to roll, flipping over and over across the yard.

When the two came apart, Scamper landed on his feet, his back arched high, his ears pointed to the sky, and a challenging hiss in his voice.

The squirrel looked at him dumbfounded as he stood to his feet. The squirrel spoke in his own language, yet Scamper could understand him. It seemed that only conversation between humans and animals was clouded over now. The squirrel said, "Hey, what's the big deal? I'm just gettin' acorns. Cats don't eat no acorns!"

Scamper, taken aback by the thief's attitude, answered, "Nay, villain! You are stealing from my yard. My keeper lives here--you are but a denizen of the forests. Within this fence is the purview of house Hildebrandt, and I cannot let you remove their acorns!"

"But they rake them up, or cut them up with that noisy contraption the man sometimes pushes," the squirrel protested.

Scamper relaxed his stance. The bushy-tailed rat had him on that one. He never did understand why the man saw fit to shave the yard with the contraption. Many more interesting insects could be found in the tall grasses, if he would let them grow.

While Scamper pondered, the squirrel scurried away and climbed a tree that had its branches starting high up. Scamper followed, climbing up the trunk only a few feet before noticing the squirrel leap from one high branch to another upon a tree outside the yard. Scamper stopped climbing. The villain had made his escape into the wilds beyond the fence, but Scamper would watch for his certain return. Though the sly squirrel had distracted him with good arguments, when it came down to it, the acorns needed protecting, and he was the cat for the job.

He slid down the tree a bit, and then turned and dropped to the ground. Scamper surveyed the yard. No other pesky rats of any kind were about. He laid down on the grass and began cleaning his right paw again. He would remain vigilant. A cat's work was never done!

_________________________ ____________________

Shane

[sandie]

A very formal cat (they are dignified creatures - in habits as well as speech) meets a squirrel with an informal register. :)

Are there any more adventures?

[ChristChild]

Maybe, one day in the future, I will write more crazy adventures for my few, loyal readers. :)

Shane

[sandie]

Purr, Shane. :)

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat continued...

Scamper sat on top of the outdoor grill and licked his left paw clean. His right had been finished long ago. He surveyed his vast domain, an eye out for any interlopers. It had been several hours, and the bushy-tailed rodent had yet to return. Scamper figured that the simple-minded bloke had moved on to yards that were less well-guarded than his was.

The sliding glass door opened and out stepped Scamper's favorite human, Chloe. Scamper stood, stretched, and then let loose a loud meow. The young female human ignored him. She promptly crouched down and began drawing on the back patio concrete with a huge piece of pink chalk. "She is very unpredictable," Scamper thought, "much like a cat."

Chloe, Mrs. Hildebrandt's daughter, continued to draw with the chalk until Scamper's curiosity got the better of him. He dropped down from his surveyor's perch onto the concrete patio beneath him, and then made his way near to Chloe.

"Hey, Scampster! I'm drawing a hop-splotch game!"

Scamper looked upon the odd array of chalk-drawn boxes before him. They made absolutely no sense to him, but only a small fraction of what the young girl did ever made sense to his cat mind. He liked her anyway. Well, except when she held him upside down for extended periods of time. He would stretch his dignity thin for the little girl--but only so far before he would wriggle free, causing her to chase him briefly. She would soon lose interest and go on to some other odd activity.

Scamper had moved into the square drawing on the end. He sat there, looked about, and then began flicking his tail in consternation--what purpose did the rough, pink box serve?

"No, no, silly! Ya don't sit in it, Scampster! You hops through the pretty boxes!"

Scamper was unceremoniously scooped up in Chloe's arms, pink crayon ruffling the fur of his right side. She had him cradled against the fringe of her dress, just below her neck, as she started singing a strange song. She then began jumping from one rough chalk box to the next. Scamper's ears shot up in alarm, yet he refrained from clawing the girl's arm more than lightly.

To be continued...

Shane

[ChristChild]

Broken --

Broken arms and broken legs
My mobility is none
Broken heart and broken mind
Now my life has come undone

Broken words and broken pledge
Oh, ashamed I have become
Broken faith and broken trust
Yes, alone I am, and numb

Broken life and broken love
Now in coldness I exist
Broken bonds and broken home
In deep loss I clench my fists

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[Jason]

Powerful.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Powerful.
Yes, very.

Shane, I must say I love Chloe. You make her seem so real. :)

[ChristChild]

Powerful.

Thanks, Jason. Though that one is short, it has deep meaning.

Yes, very.

Shane, I must say I love Chloe. You make her seem so real. :)

Thank you also, ThirdDayLover88.

Real--that is what every author hopes to accomplish with their characters. Well, in this case, Jason's characters, Chloe and Scamper as represented in his art. I could give you history about the child like where she was born, exactly how old she is, et cetera; or I could describe her looks and dress in greater detail, but these things only add a sense of history and a sense of shared imagery to the one who is Chloe. It is her actions, her thoughts, her speech, and her mannerisms, wherein she shows us the heart of who Chloe really is. The same goes for Scamper or any character. Remember this when you write. Description is fine, and history is fine, but the true reflection of the character rests deeper still.

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Oh, I just realized that I guess I haven't ever introduced myself. My name is Emily. :)

[ChristChild]

Greetings, Emily.

I would hang around, but I need to get up for work, so I must go now. I will write more another day.

Shane

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat continued...

Scamper's mind was still reeling. He had finally managed to wriggle free from the bouncing little girl, and then make his escape behind her father's shed. He peeked around the corner slowly. She had forgotten him already and was bouncing, yet again, through the pink chalk boxes. He could still hear her odd song.

"Hopsey once, hopsey twice, hopsey three times is nice!"

Chloe had hopped through three boxes singing the song before pausing a moment. She then twirled in a circle, causing her skirt to umbrella slightly before settling down again in a momentary twist. As the garment swung back into place, Chloe began hopping once again, this time placing one foot in each of a set of two boxes that were next in line. She resumed her singing.

"Twisty then splits, then a-hopsey we go!"

Chloe now proceeded to hop into the next single pink square, then on to two more singles.

She sang again, "Hopsey once, hopsey twice, hopsey three times is nice!"

Scamper had already made his way back through the yard and now sat near a potted plant that was just on the edge of the patio. He twitched his tail in consternation again. Just what did all this mean? Just what purpose did it serve? Did the small human think this would somehow keep the squirrels away?

Suddenly Chloe leaped from the third square of the second set of single ones into a huge circle at its end. She slammed her feet down in its center, prompting Scamper to raise his ears in alarm, as she also screamed.

"WHEEEEEEE! Now jumps to da middle of the roundy end!"

As Scamper watched, Chloe then left the end circle in a sprint, headed back to the beginning.

In the next moment, Scamper heard a voice coming from behind him. It sounded familiar.

"I thinks dey all be daft!"

Scamper turned to see the squirrel he had previously assaulted, standing on top the backyard fence. He was staring at Chloe and had obviously made the comment. Scamper also noticed that the bushy-tailed rodent held several acorns in his paws. The villain must have lifted them from the yard while Scamper was watching Chloe. The squirrel was a sneaky one, especially for one that came across as a simpleton.

The squirrel looked down at him and taunted, "But dey do have a way of distractin' cats so a squirrel can collect a decent meal." With that said, the squirrel somehow managed to stuff four acorns in his cheeks before he leaped down behind the fence and into the woods.

Scamper was not amused.

"Next time, rodent," Scamper thought with determination, "you will not catch me unawares."

to be continued...

----------------------------------------------------------------
Shane

[sandie]

I'm enjoying this story, Shane. I like the dialogue, and Scamper's thoughts as he tries to interpet Chloe's actions.

[Mr.Elwood]

I'm enjoying this story, Shane. I like the dialogue, and Scamper's thoughts as he tries to interpet Chloe's actions.

Its but a very small... very small... taste of the detail you get in his books.. How people think and react to outside stimuli.. He does a tremendous job conveying the thoughts and pictures of each character.

[sandie]

I will have to buy Shane's books, in that case.

[ChristChild]

Its but a very small... very small... taste of the detail you get in his books.. How people think and react to outside stimuli.. He does a tremendous job conveying the thoughts and pictures of each character.

Thanks, Sir Elwood. :)

I do warn you, Sandie, my books are more like a mix of Star Wars, LOTR, Stargate, Tomb Raider, et cetera. They do not usually focus on cats and little girls. Well, I do have Ripper, who is a cat. And also Snaggle, who is a miniature wooly mammoth creature. Hmm...

Shane

[SirMax]

Buy them! Buy them!

How's life my friend?

[ChristChild]

Buy them! Buy them!

How's life my friend?

Too focused on my new job, sad to say. It leaves my mind spent, so I do little writing beyond these brief interludes in this thread. Otherwise, I am doing well, Lady Wendy.

Shane

[SirMax]

Too focused on my new job, sad to say. It leaves my mind spent, so I do little writing beyond these brief interludes in this thread. Otherwise, I am doing well, Lady Wendy.

Shane


See I didn't even ask about your writing. I like you for more than just your books!:p What new job?

[ChristChild]

See I didn't even ask about your writing. I like you for more than just your books!:p What new job?

Well, I answered that way because those two things--the new job and my writing--are the big focus of my life right now.

I am now working as an Environmental Scientist 3 with the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality Laboratory. There is a steep learning curve, which leaves my mind spent most of the time. If thousands of people would discover and buy my novels, maybe I could quit and focus on writing for a living, but I am far from that point. I truly want to have a career writing Christian fiction, but it is almost impossible to do so. Sadly, there is little support out there for Christian fiction. Now, if I wrote a novel full of blasphemy, I'm sure I could top the best sellers, but then I would be a sell-out to the world and that's not for me. ;) :)

Shane

[SirMax]

Well, I answered that way because those two things--the new job and my writing--are the big focus of my life right now.

I am now working as an Environmental Scientist 3 with the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality Laboratory. There is a steep learning curve, which leaves my mind spent most of the time. If thousands of people would discover and buy my novels, maybe I could quit and focus on writing for a living, but I am far from that point. I truly want to have a career writing Christian fiction, but it is almost impossible to do so. Sadly, there is little support out there for Christian fiction. Now, if I wrote a novel full of blasphemy, I'm sure I could top the best sellers, but then I would be a sell-out to the world and that's not for me. ;) :)

Shane


You keep using your talents for God....He will blow your mind one day. Okay that job makes my head hurt with just the title!

[sandie]

Thanks, Sir Elwood. :)

I do warn you, Sandie, my books are more like a mix of Star Wars, LOTR, Stargate, Tomb Raider, et cetera. They do not usually focus on cats and little girls. Well, I do have Ripper, who is a cat. And also Snaggle, who is a miniature wooly mammoth creature. Hmm...

Shane

I'm a Star Wars fan from the original series, and also like the others, so that sounds fine to me.

Sandra.

[Jason]

Well, I answered that way because those two things--the new job and my writing--are the big focus of my life right now.

I am now working as an Environmental Scientist 3 with the Louisiana Department of Environmental Quality Laboratory. There is a steep learning curve, which leaves my mind spent most of the time. If thousands of people would discover and buy my novels, maybe I could quit and focus on writing for a living, but I am far from that point. I truly want to have a career writing Christian fiction, but it is almost impossible to do so. Sadly, there is little support out there for Christian fiction. Now, if I wrote a novel full of blasphemy, I'm sure I could top the best sellers, but then I would be a sell-out to the world and that's not for me. ;) :)

Shane

I wonder how many Christian fiction authors write full-time. I doubt many.

[ChristChild]

I wonder how many Christian fiction authors write full-time. I doubt many.

Exactly--which backs up my point about the lack of support for Christian fiction. You would think with the large number of people calling themselves Christians in the U.S. that we would be outselling secular authors, but this is not so. It's sad, but true. I have read many Christian works of quality that were at least as good as many popular secular works, so that is not the problem.

[Jason]

My friend Stephen Bly is a Christian Western author who has written nearly one hundred books (big publishers even, not self-published). He has even won the Christy award (Christian Fiction's biggest honour). And yet he doesn't even write full-time. He is a mayor and a pastor.

[ChristChild]

My friend Stephen Bly is a Christian Western author who has written nearly one hundred books (big publishers even, not self-published). He has even won the Christy award (Christian Fiction's biggest honour). And yet he doesn't even write full-time. He is a mayor and a pastor.

Exactly, again--if his hundred books were actually selling in any kind of numbers approaching secular bestsellers, the man would be a millionaire many times over. The big Christian publishers are part of the problem.

Don't get me started with what I think about the Christy award--suffice it say, I put little stock in it at all, for various reasons.

Shane

[Jason]

Exactly, again--if his hundred books were actually selling in any kind of numbers approaching secular bestsellers, the man would be a millionaire many times over. The big Christian publishers are part of the problem.



And I've read nearly twenty Bly books. He is an excellent writer.

[ChristChild]

And I've read nearly twenty Bly books. He is an excellent writer.

Thus supporting the fact that it is not the quality of Christian books, per se, but the lack of support by Christians in general. Left Behind was an anomaly. I think they sold 50+ million books worldwide. LaHaye and Jenkins are probably set for life and everything they put out related to these books is still selling. I tried to read the first book of the series and was bored to death a hundred pages in, so I put it down. The movie was okay.

There are many authors of quality out there, but the masses don't bother to look for them. They wait for some controversial hype about something and then rush out to buy it, even though a hyped book may be anti-Christian in its intent.

I'll stop here before I launch into a rant on the subject.

[Jason]

Rant away. ;)

[ChristChild]

Sorry, I am too tired to rant now. ;) :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

I received my fourth quarter (of 2006) sales statement. It was slightly weaker than my best quarter, the third of last year, but it was good considering the negative reviews I've received lately. :)

I am attempting to get a huge Christian publishing agent interested in my series. I'll let you all know how that goes.

Thanks to all who continue to support my works,
Shane

[SirMax]

I received my fourth quarter (of 2006) sales statement. It was slightly weaker than my best quarter, the third of last year, but it was good considering the negative reviews I've received lately. :)

I am attempting to get a huge Christian publishing agent interested in my series. I'll let you all know how that goes.

Thanks to all who continue to support my works,
Shane


That's awesome news. I'll be praying for you Shane!!!

[Jason]

I received my fourth quarter (of 2006) sales statement. It was slightly weaker than my best quarter, the third of last year, but it was good considering the negative reviews I've received lately. :)

I am attempting to get a huge Christian publishing agent interested in my series. I'll let you all know how that goes.

Thanks to all who continue to support my works,
Shane

Awesome.

I did better in January. Sold fourteen of my books. Okay, they were all to D. L. Moody's great-grandson but still. :D

I'm doing an art sale February 15th and 16th so I hope to sell some of my books then too.

[ChristChild]

Thanks for the prayers, Captain Wendy. :) I have no idea what kind of response I'll get, but I'm giving it a shot.

Awesome.

I did better in January. Sold fourteen of my books. Okay, they were all to D. L. Moody's great-grandson but still. :D

I'm doing an art sale February 15th and 16th so I hope to sell some of my books then too.

Coolness, Jason! If I ever get my foot in the door, I'll see if they need a new devotionals author as well. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

I wrote this poem quickly and I have no idea what it means. Maybe you do :confused: :

Look in next thread:

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

I wrote this poem quickly and I have no idea what it means. Maybe you do :confused: :

Human Freak--

I exist in fire
I burn with an unseen flame
I walk the barren earth
I speak the secret name

I am death
I am life
I am the in-between
I am a mystery

Fear me not
Hate me not
But love me neither
Though I'm a part of you

I revel in beauty
I fall into sin
I walk in despair
Until I live again

What am I but foolishness?
What am I but chaos personified?
What am I in truth?
What am I in lies?

I am human
I am a freak
My purpose is lost
On the errant wind

Shane
Sounds like the internal battle of someone who is fighting God. Knowing the answer but living directly opposed to His will on purpose.

Living for the material world knowing it leads no where.

Eh.. well that’s my read of it anyway…

[ChristChild]

Sounds like the internal battle of someone who is fighting God. Knowing the answer but living directly opposed to His will on purpose.

Living for the material world knowing it leads no where.

Eh.. well that’s my read of it anyway…

Hmm... very interesting interpretation... anyone agree or have any other thoughts?

Shane

[ChristChild]

I just wanted to thank Zack (RevZeek) for posting a strong, helpful review on Amazon for my first novel, Black Storm Rising. I greatly appreciate it! :) :) :)

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

... anyone agree or have any other thoughts?

Shane
thoughts?? on this board? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!

you're a funny man Shane..:p :D :p

[ChristChild]

:D Ha!

Whassssup, Sir Elwood? :)

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

:D Ha!

Whassssup, Sir Elwood? :)

Shane
Nothing... and lots of it..

I really need to go find another job.. this place is a soul killer

[ChristChild]

So you got a job now and it is a soul killer--or is the place you're in a soul killer because you lack a job? I'm not sure if you found anything yet.

By the way, my job is a soul killer. It has greatly hurt my writing time and mindset.

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

So you got a job now and it is a soul killer--or is the place you're in a soul killer because you lack a job? I'm not sure if you found anything yet.

By the way, my job is a soul killer. It has greatly hurt my writing time and mindset.

Shane
I have one that is aging me and physically draining me.. yet every door I try is locked or gets slammed.. I'm still trying to figure out why God placed me here and keeps me here.. he has to given me any indication as to what my plans are here... sharing the Word here has gone about as far as it going to go. I've also stuck my head out on the block to make management the employer realize you can't continually treat people they way they have been without consequences. Unfortunately, that has fallen on deaf ears, so here I sit.. they are so cowardly they can't even fire me when I've basically told them to and told them straight up they are unprofessional liars. :rolleyes: just pathetic.. really

[ChristChild]

The way you describe it, I find it odd that the Lord is holding you there also. I guess there is one more person or aspect of the company you can somehow effect for the better--one you don't see from your vantage point. When that occurs, He will probably relesase you or the company will change. I'll pray about it and see if I get anything more specific for you from the Lord.

Shane

[RevZeek]

I just wanted to thank Zack (RevZeek) for posting a strong, helpful review on Amazon for my first novel, Black Storm Rising. I greatly appreciate it! :) :) :)

Shane

Aww shucks...nothing but love for you man! :)

Have you thought about publishing a poetry collection in the short term?

[ChristChild]

I don't have enough poems for a book yet. :)

If you ever feel like posting even a short review for books two and three, I would greatly appreciate that as well. :D It is much harder getting reviews for those two for some reason. :confused: :)

How is your book progressing, Zack?

Shane

[Jason]

How many do you have?

[ChristChild]

How many do you have?

I have 56 worth publishing, though a few need refinement. Some of them have already been published in my novels. :)

Shane

[Jason]

That's about how many devotionals worth publishing I have for my second book.

[RevZeek]

I don't have enough poems for a book yet. :)

If you ever feel like posting even a short review for books two and three, I would greatly appreciate that as well. :D It is much harder getting reviews for those two for some reason. :confused: :)

How is your book progressing, Zack?

Shane

SLOWLY! The site that I am writing about is an 18th century shipyard. I was at my mom's house in VA over Christmas and went to do some scouting, and take some pictures of the place. However, when I got there they had put up fences and a bunch of 'No Trespassing' signs. I'm going to have to do it the old fashioned way and get written permission to go out there. Thanks for asking.

[ChristChild]

SLOWLY! The site that I am writing about is an 18th century shipyard. I was at my mom's house in VA over Christmas and went to do some scouting, and take some pictures of the place. However, when I got there they had put up fences and a bunch of 'No Trespassing' signs. I'm going to have to do it the old fashioned way and get written permission to go out there. Thanks for asking.

That sounds quite interesting. :cool: When you ask for permission make sure to tell them about the book you are writing and that you are a librarian. If that doesn't get you access, I don't know what will. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

I just wanted to thank Zack for also reviewing WWR on Amazon! The points you addressed in the review and the things you appreciated about the novel, really encouraged me when I read them. Thanks for the well thought out review! And for the hearty WUGGA! ;) :) :)

Shane

[RevZeek]

I'll eventually get DTA also. Give me time my friend.
God will make a way for you to keep on writing.

[ChristChild]

I'll eventually get DTA also. Give me time my friend.
God will make a way for you to keep on writing.

Thanks again, Zack! I hope the Lord does things with my employment, giving me a break, so I can write again.

Shane :)

[sandie]

You want God to sack you? :p

[ChristChild]

You want God to sack you? :p

No, Sandie, :D but I am actually at a decision point right now between two jobs. I wouldn't mind if you all lifted me up in prayer. Pray the Lord gives me clarity on what to do.

My new job is an almost constant "brain-drain," leaving my mind spent so that I rarely write. The other job would require me to move back to where I was living before Katrina (the hurricane), but I believe it would eventually be better concerning my ability to write, though there are other problems there.
:confused:

I'm not sure what to do,
Shane

[sandie]

I'll pray for you to discern God's will, Shane. He often leads us in unexpected ways, in my experience. I'd appreciate the prayer, too, as my son moves out of home this weekend.

[ChristChild]

Freeform, no meter:

Ignored --

Alone
Within the thick crowd
You're lost
In a human sea

Living
Though you're not alive
Speaking
But just your ears hear

Wanting
Just to share your heart
Giving
But none receiving

You shout
For some attention
You flail
Until they notice

They look
Faces befuddled
They stare
To see if you're sane

Quite soon
They're back to "ignore"
Quickly
They forget you're there

Truly
They're not worth your time
Not if
They really don't care

Move on
Find you a real friend
Lean on
Christ, Savior and Lord

Now ask
You shall be answered
Then seek
So that you shall find

He guides
When you put Him first
He leads
On Him cast your eyes

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

Since the last poem fit its name, Ignored, I will post another that I just wrote:

Freeform, no meter:

Bleak Season --

I stand in darkness
I shun the light
I am fearful
I am alone

What dark night is this
That covers my eyes?
What forgotten way
Do I walk upon?

Has my spirit fled?
Leaving me a hollow man
Has my passion died?
Leaving me vacant, empty

As the snow I drift
And like an icicle
I am stiff and cold
In this bleak season

Shrouded in a frozen fog
Preserved I am, in pain
A deep, abiding ache
I am chilled to the bone

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[Mr.Elwood]

Nothing some hot chicken soup can't fix...:D

[ChristChild]

6-6-6-6

Adrift --

My boat was moored to her
An inviting harbor
Oh, my ropes were held fast
To bits upon her wharf

Life's ever-changing waves
Brought us both together
We held a loose embrace
And we stood side-by-side

Then the violent storms came
Testing bonds between us
Our ropes of love held fast
Until wind and sea calmed

But in those joining ropes
A cancer slowly grew
Some inner blight, unseen
A dark and poisoned rot

Weakened were ties that bind
From disease in their midst
The next storm was enough
To set our hearts adrift

I tried like a doctor
To mend cords between us
But the vile, dark disease
Was stronger than my cure

I begged her, my harbor
Call the Great Physician
But she'd not hear my plea,
Deaf and bitter to me

I float free now at sea
My journey lost and dark
Our bonds broken, hanging
In the icy waters

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[Jason]

Powerful.

[ChristChild]

5-6-5-6

Eternal Spring --

Tender are her eyes
They melt my heart of stone
Gentle is her touch
A salve to heal my wounds

Her love rouses me
To again feel passion,
Which I'd abandoned
Upon life's lonely road

Her care, tangible
And all her passion, true
A stronghold of love
Is in her tender hold

Her warm, silky touch
Ignites my desire, deep
Her longing embrace
Can set my soul aflame

I kiss her moist lips
Rose petals set ablaze
Lost in her softness
To linger for an age

I shall plant in her
All of my manly love
She's my fertile field
She's my eternal Spring

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

And then, the end came...

http://www.geocities.com/dsburton_1999/news.html

[ChristChild]

Powerful.

Thanks, Jason. You are one of the few I count as a true supporter of my work.

Shane

[Jason]

Thanks, Jason. You are one of the few I count as a true supporter of my work.

Shane

And I wish you didn't delete your poetry here. :(

[ChristChild]

And I wish you didn't delete your poetry here. :(

It seems very few care to read it. I have tried to open the door for four years, and it still remains closed. I am tired of pushing. Only God can open it if He wants too--and He doesn't seem to want to. I am tired of casting my passion on something so weakly fruitful.

Shane

[Jason]

Shane:

I post my devotionals here:
http://thirdday.com/boards/forumdisplay.php?f=37

On the first page, I counted twelve with zero comments. But I keep posting. Why bother, right? Because every once in a while someone posts comments like:


Thanks Jason. This one hits close to home with me. I have to remind myself all the time that I am 'work in progress' and that I have alot of growing to do as a new Christian.

Your devotions are wonderful.

*wiping away tears*

Amen!

Thank you Jason - you really touched me on that one.


Thanks, Jason. I needed that this morning.

So I don't get many comments but I still know God is using me to touch people.

Shane, when I, Rob, Wendy, Zach, Sandra, Emily or others comment on your writing, please don't discount God's work. Okay, I'll even take it to an extreme ... let's say I am the only one who ever comments on your writing. I read a poem of yours about love and then am touched in such a way that I write a devotional and send it out to the 500 subscribers on my devotional list. You played a part in touching 500 people.

Shane, I wish that you and I both were selling millions of books and making a living purely from our writing. I wish the names D. Shane Burton and Jason Mitchener were more well known (or at least more respected) than the name Dan Brown. But that's obviously not the case right now. Why? I don't know.

What I do know is that God has called me to write. Has He called you?

[sandie]

Shane and Jason: I usually read your stories, poems and devotionals, but I don't always comment, unless I can think of something pertinent to say. "Yep" or "agreed" sound pretty lame compared to the way each of you write.

Shane: You have a gift that most of us don't have. I don't know how God wants you to exercise that gift, or when, and with what audience, but I believe that He will use it. Perhaps he wants you to deal with other things at present. Seek His face in this matter. God loves us to seek only His will, not ours. :)

[ChristChild]

You know, Jason, I have your book, but I never realized that you had those devotionals on this forum, nor where they were. I'll have to check them out--maybe they'll help me.

About God calling me to write? I just don't know anymore. Maybe it was only for a season. Maybe it was only to touch a few, which satisfied God, but not me, as the scope of the vision I'd thought He'd given me was far greater.

The point is, when you pour your passion so deeply into something and you see it languish sooooo long, you finally burn out and cast it aside less discouragement pull you into darkness. I have hit that wall, or the bottom of that pit. It may be some time before I can rise again.

Shane

[ChristChild]

Shane and Jason: I usually read your stories, poems and devotionals, but I don't always comment, unless I can think of something pertinent to say. "Yep" or "agreed" sound pretty lame compared to the way each of you write.

Shane: You have a gift that most of us don't have. I don't know how God wants you to exercise that gift, or when, and with what audience, but I believe that He will use it. Perhaps he wants you to deal with other things at present. Seek His face in this matter. God loves us to seek only His will, not ours. :)

It is somewhat heartening to know you actually read them. Unless the reader makes some kind of comment, an author has no idea anyone sees them. Maybe only a small percentage of people who read them respond at all. This is no problem for someone who sells thousands upon thousands of books, but for someone who has so few readers, the low percentage of responders is next to none, which can be very disheartening.

I will seek God's face when He peels me off the bottom of the Pit of Discouragement.

Shane

[Jason]

You know, Jason, I have your book, but I never realized that you had those devotionals on this forum, nor where they were. I'll have to check them out--maybe they'll help me.

About God calling me to write? I just don't know anymore. Maybe it was only for a season. Maybe it was only to touch a few, which satisfied God, but not me, as the scope of the vision I'd thought He given me was far greater.

The point is, when you pour your passion so deeply into something and you see it languish sooooo long, you finally burn out and cast it aside less discouragement pull you into darkness. I have hit that wall, or the bottom of that pit. It may be some time before I can rise again.

Shane

Take time out. Seek God. But don't lose hope, my friend. Cast your cares upon Jesus for He cares for you.

And I'm here if you need an ear.

[ChristChild]

Now dark fog rolls across me
So I'm lost on open ground
As the court jester laughs
My enemies ring me round

Well, Jason and Sandie, that last stanza just came to me. Now I must be off to bed...

Shane

[sandie]

Shane: Sleep peacefully. May God bless you, my brother in Christ. :)

[Mr.Elwood]

The point is, when you pour your passion so deeply into something and you see it languish sooooo long, you finally burn out and cast it aside less discouragement pull you into darkness. I have hit that wall, or the bottom of that pit. It may be some time before I can rise again.

Shane
I know what you are saying…
As someone with know real talents for anything, God has used me to assist and encourage others. The pain and frustration I go through as I watch those God has aligned me with toss their gifts way is monumental. I cannot describe the internal turmoil I go through still having to try and lift up and support those that clearly do not appreciate their gifts and unique talents. Recently I’ve just wanted to just turn my back and walk away from the whole thing. My mind keeps telling me: “It’s not worth the aggravation, the frustration, and humiliation I suffer through simply to be a cheerleader”, but then I remember that this is about God and not me or them and on I toil.

I do not see anything in what I do, but I’ll continue to do it until God tells me Himself to stop.

[RevZeek]

Shane and Jason: I usually read your stories, poems and devotionals, but I don't always comment, unless I can think of something pertinent to say. "Yep" or "agreed" sound pretty lame compared to the way each of you write.

Shane: You have a gift that most of us don't have. I don't know how God wants you to exercise that gift, or when, and with what audience, but I believe that He will use it. Perhaps he wants you to deal with other things at present. Seek His face in this matter. God loves us to seek only His will, not ours. :)

This is pretty much how I feel about the works that you guys post. I call myself a writer but I don't have the same gift that you all do. My calling lies elsewhere. I very much enjoy your work and hope that you both continue to produce such inspirational, thought provoking, and entertaining words.

[Jason]

This is pretty much how I feel about the works that you guys post. I call myself a writer but I don't have the same gift that you all do. My calling lies elsewhere. I very much enjoy your work and hope that you both continue to produce such inspirational, thought provoking, and entertaining words.

Thank you.

[ChristChild]

I know what you are saying…
As someone with know real talents for anything, God has used me to assist and encourage others. The pain and frustration I go through as I watch those God has aligned me with toss their gifts way is monumental. I cannot describe the internal turmoil I go through still having to try and lift up and support those that clearly do not appreciate their gifts and unique talents. Recently I’ve just wanted to just turn my back and walk away from the whole thing. My mind keeps telling me: “It’s not worth the aggravation, the frustration, and humiliation I suffer through simply to be a cheerleader”, but then I remember that this is about God and not me or them and on I toil.

I do not see anything in what I do, but I’ll continue to do it until God tells me Himself to stop.

Ah, fear not, Sir Elwood. How many times have I sunk low over the past four years? The answer is several--probably more than four times. Each time, you have encouraged me and that has been a part of my recovery. Therefore, you have exercised your own gift well. I feel like giving up, but that is frustration speaking, and it is probably the same with the others you encourage. I don't know about them, but I will eventually get up and write again. I think for now I just need to set it aside for a time. When the Lord peels me off the bottom of the pit, I will rise again to write. But as I said, it may be some time before I rise again--but I will--I always do. I don't think the Spirit will let me languish long, but He will let me rest for a time. Poems can easily be reposted. New prose can begin again. This is the winter of my discontent. Spring will follow in its measure of days. I am reading more now. I am absorbing the writing of those more accomplished than I, so that when I return, I will return all the stronger.

Thank you, my brother, for being faithful to your gift--you are a stronger man than I,

Shane

[ChristChild]

Thank you.

I echo this sentiment for Zack's statements. They were encouraging, as well as Sandie's and Elwood's statements. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

I cannot describe the internal turmoil I go through still having to try and lift up and support those that clearly do not appreciate their gifts and unique talents.

I don't think it is that they don't appreciate their gifts and talents--it is that they fell that hardly anyone else does. At least that is how it is from my perspective.

Shane

[SirMax]

I keep thinking about Jesus and His ministry every time I read how frustrated you get Shane. What I mean is after Jesus was baptized you KNOW He wanted to just get right to work. God the Father called Him to 40 days of fasting and He was tempted several times by Satan. This was to grow Him (it's hard to think that Jesus needed growing but there was a purpose in God's plan) and then He changed the world. I don't know why your writings have not taken hold but I do know you are gifted. I'll be praying for you and look forward to whatever you write next (and if not...I'll just pick up the books I have and read them again!)

[ChristChild]

I keep thinking about Jesus and His ministry every time I read how frustrated you get Shane. What I mean is after Jesus was baptized you KNOW He wanted to just get right to work. God the Father called Him to 40 days of fasting and He was tempted several times by Satan. This was to grow Him (it's hard to think that Jesus needed growing but there was a purpose in God's plan) and then He changed the world. I don't know why your writings have not taken hold but I do know you are gifted. I'll be praying for you and look forward to whatever you write next (and if not...I'll just pick up the books I have and read them again!)

And thank you, Wendy, for the encouraging words. I don't have the answers either, but it is always in His hands. I appreciate your prayers and support.

Now you all can look back in this thread and see that your encouragement has already helped. The poems have returned, and the last one, if I recall, was a romantic one.

Shane

[ChristChild]

As someone with no real talents for anything, God has used me to assist and encourage others.

This is not true--I have seen many of your excellent photographs. :)

Shane

[sandie]

Yes, well put, Shane. I'd love to take photos of the quality that Rob does. Rob also has a gift with words. Often he's being funny, but he can express himself strongly and succinctly about spiritual issues he feels strongly about. Rob has good common sense, I find. :)

[Jason]

Now you all can look back in this thread and see that your encouragement has already helped. The poems have returned, and the last one, if I recall, was a romantic one.

Shane

Way cool.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Hey Shane,

I've been silent for a while, one of the reasons being that I've been gone for the past few days, but I also wanted to let you know that I, like Sandra, don't always respond when I read something. I guess I feel like saying "Wow" over and over again would get pretty redundant and it also reminds me that I cannot even begin to express myself as eloquently as you.

I would say, "Please don't be discouraged," but I've had discouraging moments of my own, now being a prime example, and I know it's not that easy. But I just wanted to let you know that I am amazed by the truly marvelous gift that God has given you, even though I don't always say something. :)

[ChristChild]

Hey Shane,

I've been silent for a while, one of the reasons being that I've been gone for the past few days, but I also wanted to let you know that I, like Sandra, don't always respond when I read something. I guess I feel like saying "Wow" over and over again would get pretty redundant and it also reminds me that I cannot even begin to express myself as eloquently as you.

I would say, "Please don't be discouraged," but I've had discouraging moments of my own, now being a prime example, and I know it's not that easy. But I just wanted to let you know that I am amazed by the truly marvelous gift that God has given you, even though I don't always say something. :)

Thanks, that means a lot. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

7-7-7-7

Encouragers --

The mighty bridge's great span
Would fall to the sea below
If not for its strong supports
Hidden beneath in shadow

The tall and wide redwood tree
Would never reach lofty heights
If not for the strong, hard ground
That holds its roots fast and tight

The great generals who lead
Could not keep their position
If not for the brave soldiers
Who carry out their missions

The writers' and singers' work
Would never see light of day
If not for encouragers
Supporting them all the way

Yes, most things would fall apart
And some people would be spent
If not for some true and strong
Support and encouragement

Copyright(c)2006 by D. Shane Burton

[Jason]

Love it.

[ChristChild]

Thanks. I like it, but I may be able to get it to flow better. :)

Lately I have been working on a dark and gritty fantasy novel, separate from my Orianus works. It may frighten some people here, so I doubt I will post any of it. The novels written in this series (I always do series) are tentatively called the Bloodwalker Chronicles.

Shane

[sandie]

Me too.:)

It's not just writers and singers who need engouragement. All Christians are being made into Christ's likeness, and each of us can play our part in encouraging our fellow brother or sister in Christ. A few words can mean a lot.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Thanks, that means a lot. :)

Shane
You're welcome. :)

And I echo Jason's and Sandra's last posts. :)

[ChristChild]

Thanks for the comments and feedback recently, and earlier in the thread, Sandie and Emily. :)

I'm wondering if either of you saw this poem a few pages back? It is my second attempt at a romantic poem, and I'm wondering what you ladies thought of it?

Shane

5-6-5-6

Eternal Spring --

Tender are her eyes
They melt my heart of stone
Gentle is her touch
A salve to heal my wounds

Her love rouses me
To again feel passion,
Which I'd abandoned
Upon life's lonely road

Her care, tangible
And all her passion, true
A stronghold of love
Is in her tender hold

Her warm, silky touch
Ignites my desire, deep
Her longing embrace
Can set my soul aflame

I kiss her moist lips
Rose petals set ablaze
Lost in her softness
To linger for an age

I shall plant in her
All of my manly love
She's my fertile field
She's my eternal Spring

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

I did see that poem. I think it's wonderful. Makes me melt just reading it...

[ChristChild]

Thanks--I wasn't sure how it would come across. :)

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

Lately I have been working on a dark and gritty fantasy novel, separate from my Orianus works. It may frighten some people here, so I doubt I will post any of it. The novels written in this series (I always do series) is tentatively called the Bloodwalker Chronicles.

Shane
:eek: where's my advance copy!!!:p ;) :D

[ChristChild]

:eek: where's my advance copy!!!:p ;) :D

Actually, I only have the very beginning of the story, about 1850 words.

I have a great deal more written and refined in book one of the Orianus Legends though, but you told me you wanted to wait for the completed manuscript, if I remember right. PM me if you changed your mind. It has 40,145 words, with chapters one through seven completed.

Shane

[sandie]

Shane: I liked your romantic poem. Now I just need to find a man who feels this way about me. :D

[ChristChild]

Shane: I liked your romantic poem. Now I just need to find a man who feels this way about me. :D

Well, we are in the same boat, as I need to find a woman to feel that way about. I usually find single, Christian women either young enough to be my daughter, or old enough to be my mother. I can't seem to find one in my area that is around my age (41) that is single and that I'm attracted to. Such is life. :( ;) :)

Shane

[sandie]

It works the same with men about 50. They have a hump, a glass eye, or have been married three times and it wasn't their fault. :rolleyes:

Seriously, the faith of most "Christian" men I've met is pretty basic, and the morality is sometimes questionable.

[ChristChild]

Okay, now that our bad romance situations have been discussed ;) I'll go back to posting more of my writing. The next poem is a few years old, but I refined it into a 9-9-9-9 structure today with some rewording:

The Sailor's Creed --

I sail the seas of forgetfulness
As I skim over the waves of life
I forget all God has done for me
Through His only Son, Jesus, the Christ

Sailing the troubled ocean of time
I sail future, rarely looking past
Yet if I'd recall all that He's done
Hope and faith would surely hold steadfast

Remember past wrongs, but dwell on grace
To not strike the deadly reef of sin
Don't damage the fragile ship, your soul
But keep the Captain your God and Friend.

Climb the crow's nest to see what's ahead
Though the spyglass is darkened for you
The Captain's Word can straighten your course
But He must rudder, for the course, true

All praises for the one true Captain
Yes, we praise His perfect, guiding hand!
Lean upon the Captain of Captains
Not upon the wayward course of man!

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[RevZeek]

Thanks. I like it, but I may be able to get it to flow better. :)

Lately I have been working on a dark and gritty fantasy novel, separate from my Orianus works. It may frighten some people here, so I doubt I will post any of it. The novels written in this series (I always do series) are tentatively called the Bloodwalker Chronicles.

Shane

:eek: dude! I'm so there man. Please fill us in on a release date. Also looking forward to the next Orianus novel.

PS: Been very much enjoying the poetry. You've actually inspired me to get back into writing poetry again. Most of the writing I've done has been political commentary, etc. My forays into storytelling and poetry were REALLY strong a few years ago but in the last several weeks I've been getting back into it. Thanks for the inspiration! :D

[ChristChild]

Ha! Release dates! Unless multiple thousands suddenly buy my novels and make me a lot of money, I'll have to keep my day job, which sucks all the energy and most of the creativity out of my brain. I can only manage a poem or short story piece now and then. :o

I'm glad to see you are getting back to poetry, and I'm glad I could inspire you. I can't seem to do much else lately. ;) :)

Shane

P.S. If you ever get a chance, please drop a review for DTA on Amazon. You will join an elite group if you do so. You will be just the fifth person to have read and reviewed all three novels. :)

[ChristChild]

7-7-7-7

Light and Dark --

The Bible's light fills me up
A bright display of meaning
The Word deeply penetrates
My soul, illuminating

Darkness seeks to hide the Way
A sly trap causing blindness
Deep within my memory
Its stagnant pools drown focus

Light and dark in constant war
Now their battlefield's worn bare
They fight inside heart and mind
As hope grapples with despair

This fragile life's a tempest
A storm of day versus night
On a field of deep passions
One's boots can march wrong or right

Seek the Holy Spirit's voice
The world's voice is death's embrace
Bend passions to your spirit
As the flesh brings naught but waste

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[Jason]

P.S. If you ever get a chance, please drop a review for DTA on Amazon. You will join an elite group if you do so. You will be just the fifth person to have read and reviewed all three novels. :)

Do we get t-shirts? :D

[ChristChild]

Sorry, Jason, but no T-shirt like that exists--yet. Maybe if the novels take off, I could then afford to have special ones printed up. :)

Let's just see if Bloodwalker is too dark for those here. This is an early draft of the first part of chapter one:

Chapter One

Purple Fire

He battled upon the field--his arm, strong--his determination, fierce. Dried blood returned to liquid in the new, falling rain. It ran in rivulets down his thick armor. His sword and ax soon gleamed once again as they were washed clean. The battle was far from over. He had many more to kill.

A large, young warrior of the enemy charged him with reckless abandon. The champion's ax was soon buried in the man's now crushed faceplate. The large warrior fell forward from his momentum, as the champion wrenched has ax free. A backhanded swing of his ax decapitated another foe, as his sword entered another enemy's neck with a piercing blow. Three lay dead around the champion in but a few moments, yet his enemies pressed on.

Suddenly an arrow pierced the thick armor of his side. The arrowhead only penetrated his body an inch or two, but it burned like fire. The warrior champion ripped the offending sticker out, but then all was darkness. He fell over amidst those he had just slain.

The champion's comrades became demoralized when they saw him fall. He was a living legend—he could not fall—he could not die! Their shock and dismay weakened their resolve. Soon the enemy was winning, and many fled the field of battle when the opportunity presented itself. They would regroup at King Malus' castle and let their liege know that his greatest champion had fallen in Pellizor Field.

Soon, the enemy captain, Jonah Fike, approached. He stood looking down upon the fallen champion of the Kezzan. He kicked the body, but received no response. He looked over at Fabius Longdraw, the Elven archer whom he'd employed to take the champion down.

“Ye used a poisoned arrow, didn't ye, Elf?”

“Of course, Captain Fike. Such a man would not fall to a single arrow unless it pierced his heart deeply—possibly not even then. He may rampage a bit before losing his blood flow.”

The captain only grunted. He then asked the Elf, “I thought ye snooty Elves were all 'bout honor and the like—how come ye had no problem shootin' this one unawares when he be battlin' others?”

“Let's just say that if he were a fellow Elf I would not have done so.”

“So ye fancy Elves do think ye be better than we mere humans!?”

The Elf, surrounded by such humans, knew he was approaching dangerous ground, so he said, “No more than you humans think you are better than we fancy Elves.”

No one said anything for a moment. Suddenly, Captain Fike burst forth with laughter, causing his fellow warriors to also. After the laughter died down, he commented, “Aye, Elf, ye have laid low the greatest warrior and symbol of our enemy and helped us win the day. We can now push t'ward the enemy's castle under King Baruch's banner and challenge it for the first time in twenty years! Come, Elf, and earn the rest of ye pay by helpin' us run down those fleeing back to the castle.”

“As you wish, captain, but what of the champion here?”

“We'll carry his body back with us when we've killed those who be fleein' from before us. He be goin' nowhere now.” With that, the captain and his men laughed again, and soon they and the treacherous Elf set off after their fleeing foes.

All was now quiet in Pellizor Field. The wind and light patter of the rain was all that could be heard, until a slight buzzing emanated from the fallen champion. Beneath his armor lay an ancient amulet, a prize from a quest he had taken as a young man, long ago. It was rumored to have strange powers, but the champion had never witnessed it do anything but reflect light as any other shiny, purple amulet did. He had worn it, beneath his armor, ever since the day he had defeated the Guardian of the Black Tombs, which was no easy task. His left arm had taken months to heal properly after the encounter. Now, on this day, in the far future, he had been dishonorably shot with a poisoned arrow while he fought men face-to-face. Hopefully his countrymen would avenge him. He felt himself at death's door, wondering what lay beyond. He hadn't considered that seriously in his life. He now felt foolish for not doing so, but it was too late—or was it? He saw himself surrounded by purple light. It burned within him, and he felt himself pull away from death and become stronger.

He awoke upon Pellizor Field, his armor steaming from strange heat, boiling off the raindrops. He stood, and then looked down for weapons. His ax and sword lay near him. He sheathed his sword at his side, and then hung his ax upon its belt hook. It appeared no warriors, friend or foe, remained alive in the field.

He spied the arrow on the ground, bent down, and then retrieved it. He stared closely at a stain that remained soaked into the wooden shaft near the arrowhead. The rain had yet to wash it all away. The style of arrow he knew to be Elven, and the type of poison appeared to be the most potent known to the Elves. His enemies wanted him dead so badly they didn't care if they killed him dishonorably. The champion worked the arrow beneath a sword sheath he wore across his back so that he could keep it.

He wondered, “Just how did I survive?”

His chest felt on fire. He wandered into the woods, beyond the field's edge.

The champion removed his breastplate. He then removed a small mirror from one of his belt's pouches. To his great shock, the amulet had burned itself into his chest! It seemed fused to his sternum, its purple energy reaching thin fingers of color across his chest! The odd chain that once held it was completely gone. It now pulsed with an odd radiance and was warm to the touch.

The champion realized this was a second chance for him. Whatever Higher Power there was had seen fit to give him one. Or was it just his great fortune that he had won the amulet ages ago and was lucky enough to be wearing it when he died, allowing it to release its power and revive him? These two possibilities warred for a time in his mind. Finally, he shoved them aside and reattached his breastplate.

The champion walked out of the woods and looked in the direction of his king's castle. His enemy, the Nordron, would be making their way toward the Kezzan stronghold, killing any remaining warriors. His people were outmatched in numbers when he fell, so he had no doubt the Nordron had won the day here.

Kilgaren Darius Bloodwalker drew his sword from his sheath, but left his ax hanging on his belt. He walked through the field of dead bodies until he found the body of one of his friends. Gladius always carried a good shield. The spear that killed his friend had managed to pierce beneath Gladius' sword arm on the opposite side.

Kilgaren lifted his friend's shield from the ground and fastened it to his own left arm. It had several long scratches and furrows, but was in otherwise decent shape. He then took up Gladius' sword and slid it into the sheath on his back. He looked down upon the dead form of Gladius and promised, “You will be avenged my friend,” and then, sweeping his eyes across the whole field, Kilgaren added, “You will all be avenged!”

He began making his way to the woods between Pellizor Field and his king's castle. He would find his enemy there. He would make them pay in blood and death, especially the one who'd launched the dishonorable arrow. Soon Kilgaren came across a bloodied banner laying atop a fellow Kezzan warrior. It was their battle standard. Old Caston was the man who carried it. He knelt down and gently lifted the damp fabric. It had a few sword slices, but was otherwise whole and still attached to its banner pole, though the pole was snapped off short.

“Kilgaren, you live,” a whisper startled the champion. Still in a crouch, he looked down at the spear-impaled form of old Caston. He reached over and opened the faceplate of the man's helm. The old man, blood coughed up on his lips, smiled at Kilgaren. He was pale and not long for this world.

“Old warrior,” Kilgaren addressed him, “I thought you dead.”

“Almost, young one.”

Kilgaren laughed, and then said, “I am twice as old as most warriors, yet you still have many years on me, honorable Caston.”

Caston's smile widened, but then he became serious and explained, “I tried to rally our fellows when treachery brought you low. I saw you pull the arrow from your side and then fall. A normal arrow that shallow should not have brought you down, so I thought it was poisoned. I thought you surely dead.”

“I almost was. The arrow was indeed poisoned and by the deadliest Elven poison of which I am aware.”

Caston coughed up more bright blood, and then weakly asked, “Then how do you live?”

“It was the amulet I wore, Caston. You know of the story from my youth, and I showed it to you several times.”

Caston's eyes grew wide and he nodded.

Kilgaren continued, “It infused me with heat and purple fire, Caston—I cannot explain it—but I was healed as the amulet burned into my chest and the chain disappeared.”

Caston's eyes spread even wider, but then they narrowed and he exclaimed, “This whole time! It must be Arden's Gem—unbelievable!” With that pronouncement, Caston's chest hitched and he breathed his last.

“Caston,” Kilgaren shook him, “Caston, what is Arden's Gem?! What do you know?!” When Kilgaren realized it was too late for the old warrior to answer, he laid Caston's head and shoulders slowly back to the earth, and then reverently closed his eyes and his faceplate.

Standing to his feet, Kilgaren brought the bloodied Kezzan banner with him. He stuffed the shortened pole down the center of his back behind Gladius' sheathed sword so that the banner stood proud behind and above his head. The poisoned arrow fell to the ground due to the larger shaft being shoved next to it, flaring the sheath out further than would hold the smaller arrow. Kilgaren picked up the deadly shaft with his left hand and held it at an angle against the inside of Gladius' shield.

Turning his gaze back toward the woods that stood between him and his home, he set his mind on his mission again. He would take the fight to the Nordron, and he was determined not to fall a second time to treachery.

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[SirMax]

I love how you write....keep doing it!

[RevZeek]

Dude...I'm really digging it! Can't wait to hold this one in my hands!
-Zack

[Mr.Elwood]

not bad... got anything else ;) :D ;)

[ChristChild]

Whoa--three positive responses in a short period of time. :cool: I guess people do still check this thread. :)

Shane

[Mr.Elwood]

Whoa--three positive responses in a short period of time. :cool: I guess people do still check this thread. :)

Shane
If Wendy posted it must be important..;) :D

[ChristChild]

I decided to write a short story related to the Orianus Creation Series. Those who have read the first trilogy will recognize its relation, but it is still interesting if you haven't read the series yet.

Blade of Our Fathers

His face was dark like midnight. His mood was the same. He sat upon the ancient field amidst grave markers generations old. This was the place for which he'd been searching. If the old text was true, a great prize was hidden here—somewhere.

The tall man sat with his back against a particularly large grave marker. He reflected on this place's ancient history. The invading barbarian hordes had attacked the defenders of this land. They were advanced in culture, art, and society, yet lax in the ways of war. This would prove their downfall, as the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. There were some who tried to build powerful weapons with which to defend their land from invasion. They achieved their goal, but only three weapons were produced that made it onto the battlefield. Their people and culture were soon overrun and passed onto the pages of history.

The tall, black man stood and looked down upon the ancient grave marker. He could not read the ancient script, but was confident that the size of the marker indicated the station of the one buried beneath it. The secret of the old general, of those overrun, had been kept from the invading enemy for enough years that the legend was nearly lost. The man rubbed his hand across the weathered stone and thought, “I am not usually a man of war, but vigilance is now necessary against a great enemy, and if the legend is true, a Sword such as the ancient general's Sword, would be truly welcomed now.”

The man pulled a shovel from a strap across his back. He did not like the idea of digging up a grave, but the long dead man had no need of a magnificent Weapon—but he did. He dug and dug until he reached a wooden box. This was a good sign. Most of the men from this battle had just been buried in the earth with no coffin. Only generals, champions, and other important men had been buried in this manner.

Opening the box, the man looked down upon a skeleton dressed in decaying, but splendid battle gear. He appeared to be an important fellow. The tall, black man reached down and lifted the man's sword, then pulled it from the sheath. It had been preserved to a degree by being sealed in the coffin, and it was a fine blade, but it was not what the man was searching for. He placed the sword back in its sheath, sealed the coffin, and then began the process of shoveling the dirt back over it.

When he was finished, the man stood, cupped his hands over his eyes, and peered across the ancient battle field. He spied another large grave marker in the far distance. He then slowly made his way toward it.

As he walked, the man imagined he could still hear the sounds of battle. Sword against sword, spear striking armor, the dull thud of arrows on shields. He also imagined darker sounds. The sounds of horses being wounded, of men screaming their death wails, and the moans of the dying. He hated war. Any sane warrior who had fought in any serious battle did, deep down, though the bravado of many caused them to say otherwise. He hated it, but knew that sometimes it was a necessity to live a life worth living. He had seen, and was now seeing, just what an oppressive regime was like to live beneath. Some days it seemed you would be better off dead. How many had the enemy taken? How many had been taken to distant labor camps to slave away their lives? The man didn't rightly know, but he was determined to do his part to stand against them, even if he died trying. And for that, he needed a Weapon—a Weapon like the one in the nearly lost, ancient legend he had stumbled upon in the Great Library of his oppressed people.

His few confidants would say that he came upon the ancient text by chance, but he knew better. God in Heaven had guided his search, and the man prayed now that God would guide him further. The man felt an odd sensation deep inside as he prayed, a sensation he didn't feel often. It was what he believed to be God's prompting. It turned him away from the large grave marker he was headed for, sending him far across the field, finally to an area previously beyond his vision. He felt guided to a particular area, and then the feeling abruptly left him. The man spun about in a circle, but all he saw were small grave markers. He was perplexed. He was certain this is where he should go. Spinning about and looking closely at each of the small markers, he noticed an incongruity. One of the small markers bore a faint red color. He knelt down next to it and looked upon an underneath edge. The red color was more vibrant there.

A verse from the ancient text came back to him. It was translated from the original language into his at some time in the past, but the translator had been faithful to include the mysterious line, “Buried under a red sun.”

The translator thought that the general had been buried late in the day, when the sun was low and red on the horizon, so the man had thought no more of the odd statement. The crouching man now looked more closely at the grave marker. In the center of the star burst shaped stone, a faded image of the sun was carved.

“Buried under a red sun,” the man muttered. Hope flared in him anew, and he dug much faster than he had before. The man was strong and had great stamina. In a relatively short period of time, he had reached a coffin's lid. A few minutes later, he finally managed to pry the well-sealed box's lid open. A skeleton bearing the attire and insignia of a general of the ancient people lay before him.

“Thank you, God,” the tall, black man muttered as he reached for the ornate sheath and Sword that were still clasped in the bony fingers of the long dead general. The man hesitated. He remembered the story from the ancient text. Several of the general's warriors tried to pull the Sword from the man's grip, to use it in battle, soon after the general had fallen. They couldn't remove it, and they were shocked with energy, rendering them easy prey for their enemy. The survivors of the battle that were commissioned as slaves to bury the dead, decided to bury the Sword with the general, so that there would be no way the enemy could discover its power and find a way to use it.

The tall man pushed past his trepidation and reached for the Sword. Hopefully, after all this time, the Weapon would no longer be bound to the remains of the general. He pulled aside the general's bony fingers, which crumbled under the slight pressure. Nothing held the Sword and sheath now. The man grabbed the hilt with no ill effects. Emboldened, he drew the blade and held it aloft. It was an old kukri style of blade, which angled down a bit and had a fatter tip than the blade's main body. Suddenly it flared with energy—a pea green hue of color shrouded its static violence.

As the man, an Ancient now known as Hephaestus, looked up at the powered Sword, he exclaimed, “Let the Dark gods beware! The lost, powered Sword known as Jumantari is among the living again!”

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[RevZeek]

Could this possibly wind up in OCS #4? Or is it simply a short story? I'm liking it!

[ChristChild]

OCS #4 will have a totally different theme than books one through three. That was only a small chunk of history related to a character in books two and three. Book four, DSE, deals with a cosmic disaster.

Shane

[Jason]

I like the short story.

[SirMax]

If Wendy posted it must be important..;) :D

I'm glad you finally realize my importance!

[ChristChild]

I like the short story.

Cool. :cool:

I'm glad you finally realize my importance!

Yes, professor--show the captain some respect. :D ;) :)

This calls for a wacky, Dr. Seuss-like poem:

Socks --

No, I do not sleep wearing socks
Nor would I sleep in a smock
I would not, could not, sleep in a hat
No, I could not, would not, sleep like that

No, I do not sleep wearing pants
Nor could I sleep as I danced
I would not, could not, sleep in the hay
No, I could not, would not, sleep that way

No sleeping in these, as I could not rest
So I sleep in my bed, which fits me best

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Speaking of Dr. Seuss, one of my goals is to memorize Green Eggs and Ham. But, I'm always busy and haven't started yet. Oh, and don't ask me why I want to memorize Green Eggs and Ham, because I really don't know. :D ;)

Good poem, by the way.

[ChristChild]

Thanks. Now go memorize odd-colored breakfast item writings. ;) :)

The Cat in the Hat is watching:

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Thanks. Now go memorize odd-colored breakfast item writings. ;) :)

The Cat in the Hat is watching:
Well, I would. But I'm doing music theory homework at the moment. Maybe I can finish quickly and then get to memorizing. I already know the beginning so I have at least that much done. :D :D

[ChristChild]

Here is a page to place in memory: :D ;) :)

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Thanks. :D

I have my copy of the book right here, and I think I'm about to pull it out. Just have to get these scales written out first. That is, if I can resist the temptation. :o :rolleyes: :D ;)

[Mandy Robbins]

Have you tried putting it on Flash cards?

Here. I'll help and quiz you...

That Sam I Am that Sam I Am I do not like that __________________.
(Guessing is permitted)

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Sam-I-Am.

Do you like green eggs and ham? I do not like them Sam-I-Am. I do not like green eggs and ham. :D :D

Okay, this is not getting my scales written. I'm hopeless. :rolleyes: :)

[Mandy Robbins]

I told you this place was addictive!!!
I'm going to have to check in to Gomers annonymous

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Oh, girl, I learned that a long time ago. Why do you think my post count is as high as it is? It didn't get that way from me twiddling my thumbs. :rolleyes:

[Mandy Robbins]

I think the site needs a warning label.

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Okay, it looks like my chronic hijacking disease has reared it's ugly head again. Man, I need to keep that under control more.

Sorry, to get so off topic, Shane.

[ChristChild]

No problem--we all need a Dr. Seuss break now and again. :D ;) :)

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

I agree. :D :)

But I think I'll take my hijacking self elsewhere. :D ;)

[RevZeek]

Ok, well since we're talking about Dr. Seuss...I'm sure you all know by now that I'm a children's librarian. We did a program for Read Across America on March 2 (Dr. Suess' birthday) here's a little blackmail pic that I'm sure will come back to haunt me...

I'm on the left...

I would not, could not on a plane
I would not, could not on a train
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like them Sam I am
I do not like Green eggs and ham!

[ChristChild]

I may have to hang on to that picture, Zack. :D ;) :) For future use. :D

Going back to my novels, my sister-in-law's sister expressed an interest in reading my first novel recently, so I gave her one of the few promo copies I had left. I heard back this morning that she read it in a few days and really liked it. Besides Zack, she is one of the few, new readers of my work lately, and she actually said it was one of the best books she's read. It is encouragement like this that helps me press on, though I rarely have the time or inclination to write lately.

If you ever read this--thanks, Melanie. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

The Misadventures of Scamper the Cat continued...

Scamper had decided not to stay in the house this evening. Mrs. Hildebrandt had called for him while standing in the open back door at sunset, but he had stayed hidden. He knew she would eventually give up and return inside the large dwelling. Scamper felt that tonight would be suitably warm to work on the mystery of the giant.

It was now several hours after sunset. Scamper had made his way onto the top of the rear fence. It was thin, and he had much more trouble balancing upon it then his nemesis, the squirrel. He managed to traverse the distance he needed to with only a few, minor slips of a paw. Scamper prided himself on being an expert in balance and climbing.

"Well now," Scamper thought as he leaped onto the limb he sought to reach, "I should be able to spot the giant from here--if he reveals himself."

The giant had been a legend in the neighborhood for months. Scamper's friend, Smoky, a fellow gray cat from a few yards down, was adamant that he had seen the giant actually cross the street of the neighborhood and enter the wooded area behind Scamper's rear fence only a week ago.

Climbing higher in the small oak tree, which actually was in the edge of the woods beyond the fence, Scamper found a suitable spot to rest comfortably while on his stake-out of the area.

"If any wild giant is out there, I will spot him," Scamper thought confidently.

A sound startled Scamper, causing him to spin his head back to the fence. A large, gray cat, half again his size, leaped loudly onto the branch near the rear fence. His fellow feline then made his way noisily up the tree to lie next to him.

"Smoky, you make more noise than a clumsy bulldog," Scamper commented.

"When ya get a bit more meat on ya bones, you'll do the same, sonny boy. Don't matter, I be here and situated to watch ya see the giant right with me. This'll teach that lass, Ariel, to believe me!"

"Smoky, are still trying to impress that young, empty-headed kitten of a tabby cat?"

With seemingly no offense taken, Smoky said, "Yes."

Scamper rolled his eyes, but did so only after turning his head away from Smoky. If the elder, male cat suspected any disrespect, he would and could slap Scamper clear off the oak limb they rested upon. From nearly a year of interaction with the older male cat, he had learned just what he could and couldn't say.

As Scamper quickly turned his gaze back over the dark woods, he offered, "Well, if the giant appears, we will surely see him together."

"Surely," was Smoky's only response. He then laid his wide head on the oak branch and shifted his glowing eyes like turrets seeking a target in the dense wood.

Scamper followed his elder's lead. Two sets of glowing eyes combed the woods for nearly twenty minutes before the sound of something striking the branch near Scamper made both cats jump to the defensive.

"What a bunch of fraidy cats!" an odd voice quipped from a few branches above them.

Both cats looked up to see Scamper's nemesis, the squirrel, sitting a few branches above them. He wisely sat far out on a branch too thin to hold either cat, even if they scaled the tree after him.

"What are y'all two wackos doing out here after dark? Shouldn't y'all be safe and warm in the humans' houses? You two be domesticated, don't y'all be?"

"Hello, Percival," Smoky said in a calm voice.

"Oh, it's you, old Smokster! I didn't expect you to be hangin' about with Scamper, Acorn Protector Extraordinaire," the squirrel, Percival, said with a mocking disdain in his voice.

Scamper retorted, "I'll have you know--"

Suddenly Smoky hissed a short burst, calling for silence. Scamper was looking up at Percival at that moment. He saw the irritating creature lift his head and stare off into the woods. Percival's eyes flared and his little, powerful jaws then fell open. Scamper turned stealthily on the branch and hunkered down next to Smoky, who was already staring at something moving through the underbrush.

Just as Scamper locked his gaze upon the creature, he heard Percival whisper from above, "Now that be a big cat."

Percival was correct. And Smoky had been correct. Scamper was now looking upon a giant cat--at least four or five times Smoky's size, who was near twice his own size.

"I told ya," Smoky whispered.

Scamper was too mesmerized with the sight of the beastly, huge feline to comment.

Percival whispered from above, "They say that kinda cat is wilder than us squirrels and that none of his kind be domesticated like you fellows."

Scamper didn't know whether to believe the squirrel or not until he heard Smoky say quietly, "That's right, and they are all named 'Bob.'"

Scamper was fascinated. A giant, undomesticated monster of a cat, whose entire population was named after a human male's name—very odd. It was rumored to be hostile toward normal cats like himself, as well as other beasts and even humans. Scamper was prepared to sprint back to the yard, though how he would get inside was a problem. He did have one or two hiding places that he didn't think that the giant could squeeze into though.

Maybe he could alert the man, if need be. Scamper, as a kitten, had witnessed the fury of the angry man. A large reptile called a snake had entered the yard and frightened Mrs. Hildebrandt and Chloe. The deadly reptile had then manged to corner Scamper where the fences came together. It coiled onto itself, moving only its head while flicking its tongue. If Scamper moved to one side, its head tracked him. If it moved to the other, it tracked him that way as well. It lashed out once, but he had anticipated the strike, barely escaping it. The snake took off across the yard after him. Scamper saw the man's feet planted on the patio. He quickly dodged behind the man's feet and looked back to see the snake stop short and coil again. Before the snake had fully coiled, Scamper heard a loud, brief noise, and witnessed the snake's head turn to mush before his eyes. Scamper ran quickly and hid behind the shed, but soon peeked out again. The man was calling to him, saying he was safe now. The man held a long, stick-like object that was smoking slightly on one end. The man's wife had come out as her husband was scooping the dead snake up in a bucket. Scamper remembered that the deadly stick that made the loud noise was called a shotgun by Mrs. Hildebrandt.

Scamper now refocused his attention on the giant cat, who stood revealed partially by moonlight. It appeared to be a bit furrier in some places than a normal cat, especially its ears.

Abruptly, the giant feline, with a burst of speed, attacked some unseen animal in the bushes. After a short wail, the victim fell silent. The last glimpse he, Smoky, and Percival saw of the wild, deadly hunter, was a furry streak in the moonlight, headed deeper into the woods.

"Goodbye, cats," Percival said, explaining, "I need to make sure it wasn't me girl that's just been taken." Percival then made a quick exit.

Smoky observed, "I told ya, Scamper. The giant gets closer and closer and don't have no respect for us house cats. He'll probably eat us too, if he gets hungry enough. Now I'm going make sure that wasn't Ariel out in the woods for some reason."

Smoky stood to leave, as Scamper commented, "It didn't sound like a cat's wail, or a squirrel's. I've heard it on a few nights I've stayed out, and I think it was a rabbit."

The old, large male cat wasn't convinced, but he said, "I hope you're right Scamper." He made his way quickly down the tree to the fence, and then expertly ran across the top of the thin boards, surprising Scamper with such agility in so large a cat.

Scamper made his way down soon afterward. He thought of the giant's increasing boldness and it worried him. He worried that one day the giant may come out in the daylight and threaten he, his friends, or even Chloe. Suddenly, keeping acorns from Percival seemed a foolish waste of time. His keepers didn't give a care about acorns, but they would certainly be concerned with the giant cat hunter.

As Scamper approached the rear door to the patio, he noticed that the main door was open, and only the glass and screen door was shut. He could see that Mr. Hildebrandt was just coming into the nearby kitchen. Scamper launched himself at the door violently and hung onto the screen. Startled, Mr. Hildebrandt looked over at him, and then made his way to the door. His keeper opened the door, peeled him off the screen, and then set him inside before closing the door again.

"Scamper, you should have been in hours ago. Just where have you been?"

Scamper meowed an answer, but knew that the human just couldn't understand him. Mr. Hildebrandt just smiled and shook his head at Scamper, before continuing his mission to the kitchen. Scamper followed, meowing his story, but it was of no use.

"What's all the fuss, Scamper? Are you hungry? Here, have a piece of this."

Scamper was overjoyed as the man dropped him a large piece of ham from a sandwich he was making. Scamper, as he quickly consumed his impromptu meal, did not forget the danger and importance of the deadly giant. He would think long and hard and would find a way to alert the man to the killer's presence.

to be continued...

Copyright(c)2007 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

Hmmm... maybe this one was too long and serious... :(

Shane

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

I saw when you posted this, but I was working on my theory homework at the time and didn't need to take the time to read it.

It's good to have an update on the life of Scamper. :)

[ChristChild]

Anticipation can be a blind friend and Reality, a murderer.

Shane

[ChristChild]

I saw when you posted this, but I was working on my theory homework at the time and didn't need to take the time to read it.

It's good to have an update on the life of Scamper. :)

Well, it appears there is not much interest anymore, anyway. I probably waited too long between updates.

Whatever,
Shane

[sandie]

I'm enjoying the story, especially the language and characters of the animals. So, do we find out more about the furry killer? :)

[ChristChild]

I'm enjoying the story, especially the language and characters of the animals. So, do we find out more about the furry killer? :)

Maybe, one day, if more people show interest again. I edited the last installment slightly. Writing for me lately has been haphazard at best.

Shane

[sandie]

OK, Gomers. SHOW SOME INTEREST!!! I'm enjoying this story and want to find out how it ends. I'm also back on class two days a week from this week, so I'll write up some lessons on this story. :)

[ChristChild]

The following is the historical background from my first novel. I thought it may give people more of an idea if they would like the series or not:

Historical Background

Imagine, if you will, that instead of just our solar system, God also created other solar systems connected to the Earth through rifts in space. During the time when God’s creation was initially corrupted by sin and Adam and Eve were ejected from the Garden of Eden, these penumbral rifts were huge and they deposited some of our animal and plant life on distant worlds capable of supporting life. Most of the rifts then closed within the next hundred years following the corruption of God's creation due to sin.

Ages later, several hundred years after the great flood of Noah, a small tribe of people wandering through the wilderness passed through one of the few remaining rifts. The people soon realized they had emerged upon another world. Many of the animals and plants they were familiar with had obviously passed through the rift at some time in the past and seeded the new world. Not long after this, the rift closed and stranded the tribe. Occurrences like this happened many times throughout the Earth’s history, but they became rarer as time went on.

In the solar system of Orianus where the tribe had arrived, instead of all the planets being in their own orbits and at great and separate distances, God had created them all close together—each about twice the distance between our Earth and Moon—about four hundred eighty thousand miles apart. The Orianus system has seven planets. Five of them follow each other in the same orbit like beads on a string. The sixth planet is above the orbit of the five, and the seventh planet is below the orbit of the five, each in their own separate orbits. How do they retain this formation you ask? How do they not collide into one another, thus forming one giant sphere? Ah, that is the mystery. Forty million miles away, yet encircling the planets, we find a massive, cosmic structure known as The Great Arc. The planets are all approximately the same distance from their star and are set in the center of The Great Arc, and they are perpendicular to it. The composition of The Great Arc has yet to be determined, but its width is approximately the same as that of the main planet, Kaeldon, which is comparable in size to Earth. Kaeldon is at the forward, leading edge of the five planets’ orbit when you consider the orbital direction of the planetary system as the forward edge. The Great Arc and the planetary system as a unit orbits the star Orianus, which is comparable to our own Sun. The distance from Orianus to the center of the planetary system is approximately the same as our Earth to Sun distance, thus placing all of the planets within Orianus' life support zone.

God created Adam and Eve on Earth, and the events of the Bible occurred there. Several hundred years after Noah’s flood, Kaeldon was discovered by the wandering tribe. Kaeldon's history proceeded quite differently from the Earth’s, but the plan God designed to redeem fallen mankind still would come to pass and God would cause the gospel message and the Bible to reach Kaeldon. The people of Kaeldon retained the knowledge that they had come from another planet long ago, and that Man was created on the planet called Earth. Eventually, the people of Kaeldon would learn of Jesus the Messiah, and that God’s prophecies were being fulfilled on the planet of origin.

Long ago, and in honor of the Messiah’s birth, the majority of Kaeldon adopted the calender system of Earth that was taught to them by the messenger the Lord used to bring the Bible to Kaeldon. Our story begins in the year of our Lord (A.D.) 1998 on Kaeldon.

The planet Kaeldon has a large continent named Treffle that is located in the planet’s northern hemisphere that extends down near to the equator. A large sea separates it from the slightly smaller southern continent of Marriot that extends from slightly above the equator down into the southern hemisphere. There are several other smaller continents and islands as well on that side of the globe. The other side of the globe is separated from them by a longitudinal, mid-ocean storm band that completely encircles the globe, which is impassable with normal ships or aircraft. Only with the advent of spaceflight has some of the globe’s opposite side been revealed.

On the side of the planet we are concerned with, the major continent of Treffle is composed of provinces, which are analogous to whole countries on Earth. The other major continent of Marriot has many separate factions, but the whole continent is politically ruled by a monarch. Presiding over Treffle is the Trefflian High Council, which is made up of two councilmen each, from ten provinces, and one councilman from Grell Province. There are therefore twenty-one councilmen from eleven provinces controlling the legislative branch of The United Provinces of Treffle. They have a court system for the judicial branch, but the people vote on who will be High Council Chairman and act as the executor, instead of voting for a separate president.

On Kaeldon there are many denominations that claim to be followers of Christ, as well as many pagan religions. Some Kaeldonian denominations teach anti-Biblical doctrines, yet claim to be Christian—just like many denominations on Earth. If certain aspects of Kaeldonian denominations that are described as non-Biblical, or even heretical, are similar to aspects of a religious denomination that you are a part of on Earth, then I would suggest you look more closely to see if your particular denomination is following the Bible—or something else.

As far as technology goes, Kaeldon advanced slightly quicker than Earth. By the late nineteen-hundreds, Kaeldon had exceeded our present level of technology in most fields of science. I will refer to Earth-like vehicles and technologies within the story by the same or similar names to those on Earth for clarity’s sake. Where I use Kaeldonian names, I will describe the Earth technologies that would be most similar to the Kaeldonian form.

On Kaeldon there are various ethnic differences as on Earth, but Kaeldonians also display genetic differences that to us are only fantasy. Many human variations were thought to exist in ancient times that have all but disappeared from Kaeldon. Variations such as Giants, Nephilim, Trolls, Ogres, Dwarves, Elves, Halflings, Orcs, and Goblins, among others. The variations of people that we would call “normal” humans are known as the Kael, from which the name of the first planet, Kaeldon, is derived. There were also other variations of humans that existed, of which modern Kaeldonians have no knowledge. All of these variations are commonly referred to as different “races” of man, but truly they are all just different forms of the human race. In deference to modern word usage, I will also refer to them as “races” of humanity.

In modern times there exists a new race of giantlike men on Kaeldon. They average eight to ten feet tall, but their height is mostly due to excessively long legs, unlike the Giants of old who were proportionately large. They comprise the large majority of the population on the continent of Marriot.

The second planet of the five orbit-sharing planets is named Uriaheel. There are unique races that exist on Uriaheel. Unbelievers and Chancists (evolutionists) believe they arose on their own. They do not believe ancient peoples were capable of traveling there and they also relegate the historic link to the planet Earth as mere legend. The Designists (scientist-believers) believe that by some unknown method mankind made the journey from Kaeldon to Uriaheel and colonized it, long before modern interplanetary flight.

Presently, Uriaheel is in a feudal era, similar to Earth's own Middle Ages. Soon after first contact was made with Kaeldon, Uriaheel’s dukes quickly hired Kaeldonian instructors to teach their children the Kaeldonian language and to act as interpreters. Most men on Uriaheel of thirty years or less in age, now speak modern Kaeldonian, as well as their own language. Modern Kaeldonian is actually a form of Earth’s English language. A rare penumbral storm transferred a large British town to Treffle’s Tamriel Province in Earth’s late Middle Ages. The British people brought many advancements to Treffle and therefore became a focus for trade. Their language became known far and wide due to this and it eventually was accepted as the official Trefflian and Kaeldonian language.

With the advent of interplanetary flight many decades ago, Kaeldon's modern technology made its way to Uriaheel, giving the feudal lords the ability to decimate their planet with advanced warfare. Within the last ten years, Kaeldonian law had made it illegal to sell, trade, give, or export in any way, Kaeldonian technology to Uriaheel—but it was too little, too late. A few of the learned men of Uriaheel gained enough knowledge to be able to reproduce the technologies and weapons of war on their own. The damage was done.

Our story does not begin on Uriaheel however, but on Kaeldon. It begins with a Chancist and a Designist exploring a country foreign to them. It soon broadens to include many other places, including the planet Uriaheel, and beyond.

Let our story begin.

Copyright (c) as part of Black Storm Rising 2003 by D. Shane Burton

[ChristChild]

Freeform:

Pimple --

Do you feel like a pimple
On the butt of life?
Do you feel like a stain
On a new, white shirt?

If so, it's because life sucks
Yes, life sucks, and then you die
This sorry existence is the closest
Any true Christian will ever get to Hell

The evil that God permits
He uses to refine us
Causing us pain and tribulation
While we're still here

Will we come out stronger?
Or will we give up on this hard road?
Where's His light yoke and burden?
As we're buried alive by the world?

Turn to Him for relief
Though He won't always give it
Until His way and purpose
Has been formed in you

But He will give you strength
To endure all the pain
And in the end you'll be
Far better than before

Copyright(c) 2007 by D. Shane Burton

[Salome]

Good stuff Shane. I relate well. Life sucked this week. And I had it easy. My pain is just watching a little one have to go through big time pain. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit inside of me my heart would be cold stone. Thanks for the encouragement.

[ChristChild]

Good stuff Shane. I relate well. Life sucked this week. And I had it easy. My pain is just watching a little one have to go through big time pain. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for the Holy Spirit inside of me my heart would be cold stone. Thanks for the encouragement.

I'm glad I could help. It is good to hear from you, Kara. :)

Shane

[ChristChild]

The man sat alone. Across the valley he could see them, those he sought to befriend--but those who had left him cold. They laughed and talked among each other, yet though he stood in plain view, they could not--no, would not see him. He languished a while and even offered up a few comments, when he felt it was an appropriate time. Most ignored him. A few politely acknowledged him, but quickly turned away. They labored on their precious enterprise together, and though the enterprise they loved was his as well, they did not bid him come and share in their venture.

The man soon stopped trying. He turned and then wandered away. He struck out alone, yet still dedicated to the venture. He would succeed despite them--without their help and without their blessing. If need be, he would stand alone.

The man turned back once more. He saw their efforts from a distance. Those he would have befriended--those he would have helped. Their presence now only tore at his wounds.

He turned away again, took a deep breath, and then looked heavenward. His only true Friend, he knew, looked down from above. He realized that even now, he was never truly alone.

Shane

[sandie]

Is this Jesus, Shane?

[ChristChild]

Is this Jesus, Shane?

Hmm... I guess that is what my somewhat obscure, little story could convey, but it was not intended to be Jesus from my perspective. That is the cool and sometimes frustrating thing about writing--different people can take things different ways unless everything is spelled out very clearly, and even then, sometimes people still see differences in meaning. :)

Shane

[sandie]

Hence my question, Shane. This man could be any Christian on a mission.

So, what happens next? :)

[ChristChild]

Hence my question, Shane. This man could be any Christian on a mission.

So, what happens next? :)

I don't know, as the rest of the story is in the future from what I wrote.

Just what does the future hold?

[sandie]

I don't know Shane. I gave up trying to work that out many years ago. Only the Lord knows my path, until He reveals it to me.

So, is that the 'end' of the story? ( I'm about to go out, to afternoon tea with friends. Will look at this later.)

[ChristChild]

Only the Lord knows my path, until He reveals it to me.

So, is that the 'end' of the story?

Yes--exactly. :)

Shane

P.S.-- To explain, only the Lord knows how it will turn out for the guy in my story, so that is the "end" of the story for now.

[Jason]

His only true Friend, he knew, looked down from above. He realized that even now, he was never truly alone.



The Friend is Jesus/God. The man is you or people like you.