Lightbulb Jokes

[Sharon]

HOW MANY ZEN BUDDHISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: Three. One to change the lightbulb, one NOT to change the lightbulb, and one to neither change nor not change the lightbulb.

HOW MANY EPISCOPALIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they liked the old one better.

HOW MANY UNITARIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: The Unitarians wish to issue the following statement:
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

HOW MANY PENTECOSTALS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

(and this one was added by Mr Tai Anderson himself the last time I posted this joke)

HOW MANY THIRD DAY BAND MEMBERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

A: None. That's what roadies are for.

[The Unknown Gomer]

HOW MANY PSYCHOLOGISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

A: Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

HOW MANY SURREALISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

A: A fish.

(That last one is probably one of my favorite jokes of all time... :D )

[Drummer Dude Go]

[B]HOW MANY UNITARIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?

A: The Unitarians wish to issue the following statement:
"We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a lightbulb; however, if in your own journey you have found that lightbulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship with your lightbulb, and present it next month at our annual lightbulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."

HOW MANY THIRD DAY BAND MEMBERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

A: None. That's what roadies are for.

Thoose 2 are my favorites! Good ones Sharon!:D

[S.A.Y.]

Too Funny!!!! Ha! Ha! Ha!

[Valpo]

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?!

hahaha

[Jason]

HOW MANY SURREALISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

A: A fish.

(That last one is probably one of my favorite jokes of all time... :D )

Ack! She posted mine.

[bassgirl192]

how many bassits does it take to change a lightbulb?


one, five, one, five, one, five





(*if you don't get it, the bassits usually play the root (one) of the chord and the fifth of the chord*)

[The Unknown Gomer]

Ack! She posted mine.You know what they say - "The Early Bird Gets to Post the Fish Joke". ;)

I'm not sure, but are we the only two that get that one? I don't know about you, but I always get a lot of blank stares back from people when I tell it. Can't imagine why. :confused: :p

[Jason]

You know what they say - "The Early Bird Gets to Post the Fish Joke". ;)

I'm not sure, but are we the only two that get that one? I don't know about you, but I always get a lot of blank stares back from people when I tell it. Can't imagine why. :confused: :p

Yes, I think we are the only two that get that one. How surreal.

[Sharon]

I got both of them .. the surreal and the bass one ... *sigh* :rolleyes:

[rock_the_light]

Q:How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Chuck Norris kills in the dark!

[micahsky]

Q-How many irishmen does it take to change a ligtbulb?

A-20, one to hold it in place & the rest to drink whiskey till the room spins.
:rolleyes:

[p-GLOverflow]

Ooooo... I hope this becomes a nice lengthy thread!
I must present this one:

How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?

Lutherans: CHANGE?!?!?!!

[micahsky]

Yeah, I hope this thread grows to be HUGE!!

Q-How many Theripists does it take to change a light bulb

A-1, but only if the lightbulb truly wants to be changed.

[p-GLOverflow]

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb?

Amish: What's a light bulb?

[HotWireD]

You know what they say - "The Early Bird Gets to Post the Fish Joke". ;)

I'm not sure, but are we the only two that get that one? I don't know about you, but I always get a lot of blank stares back from people when I tell it. Can't imagine why. :confused: :p

That is my favourite joke too :cool:

my third fav' joke is...

What did the grape say when it got run over?
Nothing - it just let out a little wine.

My fourth favourite joke is...
What did the cookie say when it got run over?
"Oh crumbs!"

... and they are only my third and fourth fav' jokes because my second most fav' joke is...

What did the grape say when it got run over?
"Oh crumbs"

[HotWireD]

Q:How many Chuck Norrises does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Chuck Norris kills in the dark!


I was thinking about Chuck Norris and light bulbs when I started reading this thread - I even went looking online for a Chuck/lightbulb joke!

Thanks for posting one!

[Phatboy298]

how many roaches does it take to change a light bulb?

A. who knows, because when the light comes on they scatter. *baruum ching*

[The Unknown Gomer]

how many roaches does it take to change a light bulb?

A. who knows, because when the light comes on they scatter. *baruum ching*GAK! Hate cockroaches. Good joke though. :D Here's a little roach trivia for everyone... did you know that a cockroach pretty much eats anything, and can actually live for a week on one greasy thumbprint? Ewww... heard that on Animal Planet last night.

Cool, a few more people get the Surrealist/Fish joke. I was starting to think that Jason and I were the only ones. :cool:

[micahsky]

Q-How many Fiminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A-15. One to change it, & the rest to form a support group. ;) :)

[jevvv]

Love the surrealists one!

Hadn't heard it before

[prayercloth sis]

lol...lol

I love the pentecostal one ....prayer for the spirit of darkness...lol

that's about right...

God Bless

rhonie