Article for a teen magazine that shouldn't be...

[Eowyn]

OK, so me and my mom were in Wal-Mart when a teen magazine caught my eye. I was surprised at one of the titles on the front. It said, 'Teens tell: "Why I'm Still Virgin"' :eek: What's the purpose for that article?!? What's wrong with being a virgin?!? NOTHING! I just thought, "Cuz I wanna be, that's why!" That just gets on my nerves when they imply that being a virgin is wrong. That's on the top of the list! I'm so tired of being in Wal-Mart and someone saying to me, "That's an adorable daughter you have!", when it's my sister! Why do people assume that? Why can't it be my sister? Huh? Ya'll can voice your opinion if you want, but I've voiced mine already.

[ausgirl]

Hi hon,
I get you, unfortunately the 'world and the media' have got drummed into the youth, through such avenues as magazins like this one, that virginity is something that you should get rid of as quick as you can. How sad it is, one time and it's gone and you can't get it back - though God can restore your pure heart.
Also unfortunate is the idea of just what you can do and still be considered a virgin. It is not so much the 'act' but the purity of heart, mind and body that God wants.

[Mugirl04]

did you read the article. it might have been different than you thought

[mat1583]

did you read the article. it might have been different than you thought

Exactly what I was thinking. You assumed that the article was putting virginity in a bad light just by the title? Shame, shame.

-washboard

[hoonah*]

Hmmmm. I never read Teen magazines(only Christian Music Planet for me!)but my friend Ally does and I have flipped through a few at her house for hair/makeup tips. I must say, there is a good deal of sexual material in them. As for that article, well...I would have to personally read it, but most likely, those girls are not "waiting" for the right reasons,(right reasons of course being, out of love and obedience to God and your future husband).

As for them thinking that she is your daughter, that is just modern society. They are judgemental, and go by what they see. I am sure that people have thought the same of me when I take my 5 year old little Sis in places with me. They see teenager with a small child...what comes to mind? I guess that if someone said that to me...it would bother me a bit, maybe...not that they thought that or that it appeared that way, but just because the assumed and judged by appearances.

[Healing Oil]

Honestly, the title of that article didnt imply anything negative to me. You should of read it before jumping to conclusions about what it said. Maybe these girls were giving positive reasons for why they are choosing to not have sex?

If you didnt read it, I really dont think your opinions holds that much merit. It may hold more merit if the title read "Teens tell: I can't believe I am still a virgin! Why is that???"

[Grank]

when you made your opinion of this article without reading it, isn't that the same thing you're doing when you complain about ppl assuming your sister is your kid? way to go...

[Jake]

Yea, I'm trying to figure out what about that title made being a virgin sound bad...care to help us out with that one?

[Aaron]

I agree with the last three posts, I think you may have just misunderstood the title.

[Eowyn]

I'm gonna hopefully go on the website for the magzine and read it. I thought about that after I posted it...

[ObiShawn]

Which magazine was it? I tried looking in a magazine rack today, but they only had one "teen" mag, but it didn't have anything about virginity on the cover.

[Evanescence]

Which magazine was it? I tried looking in a magazine rack today, but they only had one "teen" mag, but it didn't have anything about virginity on the cover.

Oh, Obi Shawn, aren't you a little old for Teen girls? J/K

:D :D :D

[ObiShawn]

Oh, Obi Shawn, aren't you a little old for Teen girls? J/K

:D :D :D

Age is just a number man! :D

[Mugirl04]

Exactly what I was thinking. You assumed that the article was putting virginity in a bad light just by the title? Shame, shame.

-washboard
i hate when ppl read only christian magazines because there are good articles in the secular magazines that make you think.

[jaelgomer]

there are a lot of "good" things in the world, but it doesn't make someone wrong for choosing to not be part of them. WHat's so wrong about choosing to only read CHristian material? Is it going to hold them back because they don't know what all the girls are wearing and all the new sex positions and what not? sure, there are good articles, doesn't mean we have to read them. I personally read PEOPLE more than anything, but I"m not going to tell someone they are wrong for only reading a Christian mag and not picking up People! good for them that they don't feel like they have to know what the rest of the world is doing. Who cares! They're more interested in what other Christians are doing, and what God would have them do. Not like those of us who read secular magazines aren't, but seriously should we really get on to someone and hate the fact that they don't feel the need to be obsessed with what the secular world has to offer?
and about that title, yes, you should definately read it before you judge it. but more than likely, it would probably be a disappointment to those who are sitll virgins for the right reasons. only because the numbers would clearly show how few out there are still virgins and one can only imagine there are no biblical refrences. but again, can't judge a book by it's cover

[AshleeDru]

Hey Eowyn,
It's funny I stumbled upon this thread. I actually have that magazine with that article (YES!! I'm guilty, I do occasionally read those teen magazines :eek:) And I kind of had the same reaction as you, but after I read the article I thought it was pretty cool. It actually made it seem as though not having sex before your married is a good thing! I'm pretty sure there was even a christian girl that talked about saving herself for her husband...etc. So, I agree with the others, that maybe you should have read the article first. But, I do understand your judgment, because when does our world ever cast virginity as a good thing?

[Drummer Dude Go]

Our world is a very sick place that has done away (Or is still trying to do away) with all the Godly morals on which this country was founded. I personally plan to be a virgin, but it will be very hard, b/c the world puts so much pressure on girls and guys, to make them believe that sex is love, and that if you are really in love, you should have sex, but we all know that if you really love your BF/GF, then you will do them the honor of waiting untill you get married to them to have sex with them, b/c it is the only sure way of preventing pregnancies/STD's, and it's the right thing to do, but more importiantly, God tells us to wait untill marriage, so that's what we should do. There were a few girls in my class ('08) last year, who left in the middle of the year b/c they were pregnant. (We know for a fact they were-word gets around very quickly in a small town of only 14,000 people) The funny thing is, each of the couples broke up shortly after we all heard they were pregnant. Apparently love wasnt what they thought it was. If only they had not done what everyone knows is wrong, then they wouldnt've been in the mess they're in. It has basically ruined thier lives, b/c they will miss about 1 year of h.s, and may have to repeat a grade, b/c of what they missed by being out so long. Sad...
Anyway, enough of my rant, I gotta go. See yall later!-Drummer Dude Gomer

[jaelgomer]

I work at the health department, in the department that works with prenatals and babies. Anyway, it's just amazing the number of young, and I mean really young girls that come in to get on the program. Quite a few 15 year olds. Most of my moms during the summer are between 15-18 (had a little too much fun prom night). WHat is really, really scary/sad/amazing is that a lot of these young, young girls come in and when the nurse asks them if it was a planned pregnancy, say yes! They truly believe if they have sex with their boyfriends, they will love them more, and think that getting pregnant will make them stay. Very rarely do they answer yes to the next question, which is, "is the father of the baby involved?"
These young girls truly believe sex is the sure sign of love. At 15, with all the pressures, waiting till marriage seems next to impossible. Especially when a lot of these 15 year olds are being brought in by their parents for birth control "just incase"

[Eowyn]

Hey Eowyn,
It's funny I stumbled upon this thread. I actually have that magazine with that article (YES!! I'm guilty, I do occasionally read those teen magazines ) And I kind of had the same reaction as you, but after I read the article I thought it was pretty cool. It actually made it seem as though not having sex before your married is a good thing! I'm pretty sure there was even a christian girl that talked about saving herself for her husband...etc. So, I agree with the others, that maybe you should have read the article first. But, I do understand your judgment, because when does our world ever cast virginity as a good thing?

I searched for that magazine today and COULDN'T FIND IT! So thanks!

I work at the health department, in the department that works with prenatals and babies. Anyway, it's just amazing the number of young, and I mean really young girls that come in to get on the program. Quite a few 15 year olds. Most of my moms during the summer are between 15-18 (had a little too much fun prom night). WHat is really, really scary/sad/amazing is that a lot of these young, young girls come in and when the nurse asks them if it was a planned pregnancy, say yes! They truly believe if they have sex with their boyfriends, they will love them more, and think that getting pregnant will make them stay. Very rarely do they answer yes to the next question, which is, "is the father of the baby involved?"
These young girls truly believe sex is the sure sign of love. At 15, with all the pressures, waiting till marriage seems next to impossible. Especially when a lot of these 15 year olds are being brought in by their parents for birth control "just incase"
A few months ago, our youth group was coming back from a trip and a few of us got into a conversation about how sad it is when the guys say they "love" them and the girls believe them! Why can't they see that the guys get what they want, then they're gone! POOF! Bye-bye "true" love. :rolleyes: Then they feel that they'll never find true love again, when what they had wasn't true love. It wasn't even love! Then they end up pregnet and out of school.

[Drummer Dude Go]

A few months ago, our youth group was coming back from a trip and a few of us got into a conversation about how sad it is when the guys say they "love" them and the girls believe them! Why can't they see that the guys get what they want, then they're gone! POOF! Bye-bye "true" love. :rolleyes: Then they feel that they'll never find true love again, when what they had wasn't true love. It wasn't even love! Then they end up pregnet and out of school.
Personally, (And this is a guy speaking here) I think that if you really love a girl, truly love her, then you should do everything you can to protect her, not use her for your own selfish pleasure. Lots of couples who are "in love" believe that it's ok if they have sex, b/c they believe they are so in love that they will eventually get married, but it rarely works that way. Nobody can tell the future, only God Himself knows whether or not two people will get married.

[mat1583]

I searched for that magazine today and COULDN'T FIND IT! So thanks!


A few months ago, our youth group was coming back from a trip and a few of us got into a conversation about how sad it is when the guys say they "love" them and the girls believe them! Why can't they see that the guys get what they want, then they're gone! POOF! Bye-bye "true" love. :rolleyes: Then they feel that they'll never find true love again, when what they had wasn't true love. It wasn't even love! Then they end up pregnet and out of school.

...as if girls are so innocent? It takes two to tango. I've seen girls that are just as seductive as the guys.

-washboard

[jaelgomer]

I don't think anyone is implying that girls are perfectly innocent. Some girls will do whatever they can to get what they want, too. But usually it's a young girl who falls for the, "if you love me, then you'll want to have sex with me" Not that all girls are these poor naive little souls, but young girls want to be loved, and if they believe sex is the way, they're all over that. Some girls are a little more easily convinced than others. Unfortunately, after that is when the girls become the manipulaters doing whatever they can to get what they want. Because they believe that sex is what will get them love and getting pregnant is how they'll keep it.
But I truly believe that a guy is/should be stronger than a girl, and in a relationship should be the one to really stress and encourage purity. I'm not saying this to take all responsibility off of the girl, but have you read Joshua Harris? He believes this as well. It's up to the man to be strong and stand up for what is right for the girl AND for him. I respect young men who are the first ones to say, "It's hard, but we ARE going wait." ANd they're the ones who make sure it happens.
But no, not all grls are innocent. But when the young mom is 15, and the daddy is 17, I don't see the guy as some poor innocent kid who got roped into this.

[Mugirl04]

...as if girls are so innocent? It takes two to tango. I've seen girls that are just as seductive as the guys.

-washboard
agree! so many girls get in a predictament and then play the victum, but they are fulfilling there own pleasure to

[AshleeDru]

agree! so many girls get in a predictament and then play the victum, but they are fulfilling there own pleasure to
I know! That bothers me too. I agree with you both.

[Pouye]

I would say that is the rare girl who seeks sex simply for pleasure. There might be a few, but these have often gone down a difficult path of rejection and sexual abuse. Have you ever heard of a prostitute who does what she does just for the fun of it (and not the money)?

For most women/girls, sex is like the icing on the cake -- the cake being the loving relationship. Guys who are immature will see sex as the cake, and the icing would be a possible long-term relationship. Some guys are so immature that they don't give a pluck about the icing -- they are happy with cake and don't want/need the frosting.

A mature guy will know that protecting women (in general) is to also protect their emotional well-being. In immature guy (and/or selfish one) does not view it as their duty to protect women (in general). Rather, women are something to be used or abused. A guy that would simply use a girl to satisfy his sexual desires and not think about her desires and her emotional well-being is selfish, inconsiderate, and thinks nothing of the duty to protect and respect the opposite sex.

A clue for women who are thinking of dating a guy: Watch how he treats his mother, sisters, or any other women he comes in contact with (at work, etc.). If he is at all disrespectful, condemning, or "brushes them off", stay away from him. He is a "bad boy" and might show strength and charisma in his own way (at least toward you or those who wants to manipulate), but he will not treat you good. In fact, he will probably just use and abuse you.

I remember when I was a teen I had a girl vow to my sister that she was going to "get me". She tried all sorts of things, including a really nasty letter that detailed things that I couldn't write on this forum. It all generated nothing in me but pity for her. Of course I was flattered... but I also knew this girl made it her mission to "get" guys in bed. She was craving attention, and to medicate those hurts, she would pursue sexual relationships. I didn't want to become a notch on her bedboard. I felt sorry for her, and my real hope was that she would someday find someone who would love her FIRST (without the sex), and then marry her. She eventually got married.

I think the above type of girl is rare, but there are enough of them around that guys who are selfish and immature will certainly take advantage of them (or I guess they take advantage of the immaturity in each other?).

For the girls out there who are waiting, I say, "WAIT!" You don't want a sex partner, but someone who will love you (and your future children) -- and you know that is true deep inside.

For the guys out there who are waiting, I say, "WAIT!" You know you desire a sexual relationship, but is that all you truly want? Why not also have a woman who loves you deeply and also admires, respects, and trusts you? Search your heart, and tell me -- isn't that your desire?

Rock

[Eowyn]

I have to agree! I've only heard of girls being taken advantage of down here (I live in a small town though).

[Mugirl04]

I would say that is the rare girl who seeks sex simply for pleasure. There might be a few, but these have often gone down a difficult path of rejection and sexual abuse. Have you ever heard of a prostitute who does what she does just for the fun of it (and not the money)?

For most women/girls, sex is like the icing on the cake -- the cake being the loving relationship. Guys who are immature will see sex as the cake, and the icing would be a possible long-term relationship. Some guys are so immature that they don't give a pluck about the icing -- they are happy with cake and don't want/need the frosting.

A mature guy will know that protecting women (in general) is to also protect their emotional well-being. In immature guy (and/or selfish one) does not view it as their duty to protect women (in general). Rather, women are something to be used or abused. A guy that would simply use a girl to satisfy his sexual desires and not think about her desires and her emotional well-being is selfish, inconsiderate, and thinks nothing of the duty to protect and respect the opposite sex.

A clue for women who are thinking of dating a guy: Watch how he treats his mother, sisters, or any other women he comes in contact with (at work, etc.). If he is at all disrespectful, condemning, or "brushes them off", stay away from him. He is a "bad boy" and might show strength and charisma in his own way (at least toward you or those who wants to manipulate), but he will not treat you good. In fact, he will probably just use and abuse you.

I remember when I was a teen I had a girl vow to my sister that she was going to "get me". She tried all sorts of things, including a really nasty letter that detailed things that I couldn't write on this forum. It all generated nothing in me but pity for her. Of course I was flattered... but I also knew this girl made it her mission to "get" guys in bed. She was craving attention, and to medicate those hurts, she would pursue sexual relationships. I didn't want to become a notch on her bedboard. I felt sorry for her, and my real hope was that she would someday find someone who would love her FIRST (without the sex), and then marry her. She eventually got married.

I think the above type of girl is rare, but there are enough of them around that guys who are selfish and immature will certainly take advantage of them (or I guess they take advantage of the immaturity in each other?).

For the girls out there who are waiting, I say, "WAIT!" You don't want a sex partner, but someone who will love you (and your future children) -- and you know that is true deep inside.

For the guys out there who are waiting, I say, "WAIT!" You know you desire a sexual relationship, but is that all you truly want? Why not also have a woman who loves you deeply and also admires, respects, and trusts you? Search your heart, and tell me -- isn't that your desire?

Rock
it may not be for sexual pleasure, but it will be for the selfish purpose too, like feeling love, or money,

[Thirddaywannabe]

...as if girls are so innocent? It takes two to tango. I've seen girls that are just as seductive as the guys.

-washboard


Girls probably have more seductive power than guys, if they really wanted to pursue this kind of activity. Guys might get the bad rep for this, but not every girl is an innocent butterfly smelling flowers all day.

[kiwisongbird]

girls and guys are very different - somehow guys who prey on girls can spot the girls who are looking for love and affirmation a mile off.. sure there are 'bad' girls too, but I agree that it's more up to the guys to be strong - girls' emotions can be so much more easily manipulated....

in the word it tells boys to treat girls like their sister and honour them - it doesn't have similar things to say to the girls - must be because they will actually behave well (usually) when the guys are treating them right... well, that's how we are training our boys to treat their friends who are girls... :) :)

[Eowyn]

Personally, (And this is a guy speaking here) I think that if you really love a girl, truly love her, then you should do everything you can to protect her, not use her for your own selfish pleasure.

Seriously, if you love them, you'll wait for them, right? I mean, it's harder to wait, and it's honorable to God. It's like telling Him that you accepted His gift of the perfect person for them instead of giving in early to the temptations.

[BethelTraumaRN]

I agree with you, Eowyn.
And believe me, I've read teen mags (hey, I'm only almost 21, I'm still a teen at heart! :p) that totally put virgins down, or say it's a good way to not get pregnant.
I have a diamond purity ring (given to me by my grandparents for a Christmas gift. I'd asked for it :) ) that I wear everyday that reminds me of why I'm a virgin and why it's important.
It IS so hard to wait- but I encourage all the chicks on here who are still waiting-whether it be for your first boyfriend (join the club) or husband or whatever, to keep up the fight. We're going against the grain and popular thinking of the US today, and all for a God honouring thing.

Ok, I'm done. I'll just rant and rant for sections long and then nobody will want to read this :)

xoxoxox

[Eowyn]

Well, I'm one of the REALLY crazy people (by THEM... the rest of the world!) that doesn't plan on dating. I don't think nothing's wrong with it, I just think it can SOMETIMES tempt you more. So I don't plan on dating anytime soon.... maybe when I'm like, 20. ;)