Selfish parents/family....

[Evanescence]

I'm fighting mad at my parents.....

Well not really, but still disgusted. Need advice....

My parents live what i would call, selfish lives. They barely have a marriage...even after 42 yrs and in my opinion, have no idea what the meaning of family is.

Yesterday, i asked my mom and dad to help us with our dog. We have a puppy...4 months old and need someone to help by letter her out and feding her. NOT Dog sitting, but just a simple let out the dog and spend an hour with er for 1-2 days while we are away on vacation.

I got a lecture about how "when you have a dog, you have to think about things like vacations and taking care of it etc etc,"

And of course a bunch of negative static about, "What are you going to do if you go away for 2 weeks,"

My mother is always miserable and they act as if it is a BIG deal to drive 6...yes, 6 whole miles to my house to visit. They both drive, are in good health and don't mind driving 2 hrs to the casino to piddle away their money, but only come to my house 1-2 times a year.

My mom cried like a cat with its tail caught in a door about helping with the dog. I could tell in her voice...she was all besides her self and even resorted in the foolish, BS, excuse making crap self-fish folk do to cop out of doing stuff for others.

I almost never ask my mom and dad for anything and am always there for them, so is it selfish for me to ask them to help me with my dog for 1-2 days?

Doesn't it show self-fishness in an extreme way that when I have kids someday, will come out once again? If they can't help me for 1 hr with my dog, how are they going to help me with my kids?

How should we deal with selffish family? I try to be respectful but am just so frusterated with my parents lack of caring and selffishness. Its so evident in all they do...

Signed, a frusterated E... :confused: :( :confused:

[Evanescence]

How could you not want to let Shelby out....????????

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c97/scooterl/800013f3.jpg

This is when she was 7 weeks old. She's now 4 months, housebroken and such a good pup. She is a Red Bone Coon Hound.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c97/scooterl/Doggypics010.jpg

Anyone in Central PA wanna Dog sit? :D

[SacredHeart]

I've dealt with this kind of behavior on more than one occasion with my in-laws. After 22 years of dealing with it, the best advice i can give you is: quit placing expectations on them that will only end up hurting you and your relationship with them. It's sad that you can't ask even the littlest thing from your family, but by doing so, you set yourself up for disappointment. The fact is, you can't change them. All you can do is learn from it and then determine to be different. How rewarding it will be for your own children to know they have parents who would do "anything" for them.

I'm sorry for your disappointment...have you thought about taking your dog to a kennel? It might just be easier on everybody.

[Evanescence]

I've dealt with this kind of behavior on more than one occasion with my in-laws. After 22 years of dealing with it, the best advice i can give you is: quit placing expectations on them that will only end up hurting you and your relationship with them. It's sad that you can't ask even the littlest thing from your family, but by doing so, you set yourself up for disappointment. The fact is, you can't change them. All you can do is learn from it and then determine to be different. How rewarding it will be for your own children to know they have parents who would do "anything" for them.

I'm sorry for your disappointment...have you thought about taking your dog to a kennel? It might just be easier on everybody.

Yeah I'm with ya Sacred. My in-laws are in canada for 5 weeks and would help out but really, my mom and dad have so many issues and we've been round and round about this kinda stuff...and other, even worse cases of ignorance and selfsihness. But, to them, I'm just a spoiled brat who always wants his way....etc etc.

Meanwhile some of my good friends....well EX- good friends are killing themselves with drugs and alcohol, draining their parents dry of money and my parents KNOW this and yet they scream bloody murder about the simplest of things.....

I'm thinking about a kennel.....I'm not sure though....

[cheewiee]

Before checking out a Kennel... check out some of those "Doggie Day Care" facilities....

In a Kennel, most dogs spend the day caged, where as at a Doggie Day care they get the joy and fun of being and playing around other dogs, and usualy stay in rooms vs. cages..

The cost isn't much more either...

Just a suggestion..

[Jake]

Yea, we put our dog in a kennel once and he got something called "kennel cough" and was sick for a couple weeks.

[wannabaRSgirl]

I want to say about parents, friends, in-laws spouses etc., our expectations are usually too high. There is only 1 who will never fail you and that is Jesus.

I have a wonderful mom. She has always been there for me. If I asked her to let the dog out and visit for a couple of days she wouldn't. She might agree to and then something would happen and she couldn't. It would happen while we were out of town and there the dog would sit.

I know you are feeling like they are self-ish. But the the truth is, we all are. One day when you have kids, DO NOT expect anything from your parents, and you will not be disappointed. I have kids, I am in the same boat with my mom, dad, step mom, in-laws, and grandparents. They seem to have time to do what they want and seeing my kids or helping with my kids is always last. One of them said one time, "I just want to have them as much as I can now because one day they won't want to come see me". Still, no call no show. Now we are 1000 miles from most of them and 750 miles from a couple of them and who knows when we will see any of them. (when we go there, most likely)

It is hard and I love them all. I have days when I get the "selfish parents" blues too. Just keep loving them, try not to be that one day, and pray that Jesus fills that void that you have.

As for the dog, I think a couple of days in the kennel would be ok. $20???

[Howlin' Wolf]

my grandma is like that. my mother broke her back. my grandma called the hospital and put up a huge production about how she feels so bad and would love to come and visit and take care of my mom, but she cant because her back hurts and she doesnt want to risk throwing it out and missing her beach trip. can you believe that!?!?!? when she finally did come, all she did was complain about her back hurting and being a baby. complaining to a woman with a broken back?!?!?!?! she spends all her time hopped up on pain pills, ignored the family at her wedding, blew off christmas to be with her new husband's family, she hounds you if you ever borrow money from her and then lords over you until you pay her back, and when saying grace, one time said that she loved her new husband more than her kids(that was the implication, anyway)

i have dusted off my sandals. as far as i'm concerned, she's a waste.

[kiwisongbird]

AAAwwwww, if Thailand wasn't so far away, your Shelby could come stay with us and play with Kuri - our dog... :) :)

[Pouye]

But, to them, I'm just a spoiled brat who always wants his way....etc etc.

Meanwhile some of my good friends....well EX- good friends are killing themselves with drugs and alcohol, draining their parents dry of money and my parents KNOW this and yet they scream bloody murder about the simplest of things.....

I'm thinking about a kennel.....I'm not sure though....

Are you an only child, E? Just curious.

Rock

[prayercloth sis]

Hey E

If Texarkana wasn't so far away I take care of your pet...sooo cute!!!

Sorry things worked out the way they did ....will be remembering you all in prayer and believing for the Lord to make it better...

I am so thankful I was close to both of my parents and they were always there for me...but my husband and his parents...completely opposite...

God Bless you ....

Rhonie

[Evanescence]

my grandma is like that. my mother broke her back. my grandma called the hospital and put up a huge production about how she feels so bad and would love to come and visit and take care of my mom, but she cant because her back hurts and she doesnt want to risk throwing it out and missing her beach trip. can you believe that!?!?!? when she finally did come, all she did was complain about her back hurting and being a baby. complaining to a woman with a broken back?!?!?!?! she spends all her time hopped up on pain pills, ignored the family at her wedding, blew off christmas to be with her new husband's family, she hounds you if you ever borrow money from her and then lords over you until you pay her back, and when saying grace, one time said that she loved her new husband more than her kids(that was the implication, anyway)

i have dusted off my sandals. as far as i'm concerned, she's a waste.

Yeah, that sux. I have seen some scary selffish activity thats pretty lame and ignorant....

I think we're doing the kennel thing. My dad's gonna help out and take her there on Sunday, we'll get her Tues....

Folks that live by "The path of least resistance" living, i usually stay away from. Like my old buddy and mentor once said,.....

"Those that are good at making excuses are usually not good at anything else..."

Word out :cool:

[prayercloth sis]

my grandma is like that. my mother broke her back. my grandma called the hospital and put up a huge production about how she feels so bad and would love to come and visit and take care of my mom, but she cant because her back hurts and she doesnt want to risk throwing it out and missing her beach trip. can you believe that!?!?!? when she finally did come, all she did was complain about her back hurting and being a baby. complaining to a woman with a broken back?!?!?!?! she spends all her time hopped up on pain pills, ignored the family at her wedding, blew off christmas to be with her new husband's family, she hounds you if you ever borrow money from her and then lords over you until you pay her back, and when saying grace, one time said that she loved her new husband more than her kids(that was the implication, anyway)

i have dusted off my sandals. as far as i'm concerned, she's a waste.

Hey T

That would have hurt my feelings...

Praying your Mom is alot better...is she still in the hospital? I will put her on our prayer list at church and on our national prayer line if you will pm me or bridges and give us her name...

I just wish my Mom was still living...so love her all you can while you have her....I am sure you already know life is too short and like a vapor...I sure miss both of my parents!

Sending you and your Mom love and prayers brother.

I pray in Jesus name that your grandma realizes soon that her children and grandchildren are just as important and is able and willing to make things right.

I can not imagine as a mother being away from my children or not being there when they were in the hospital much less when their back is broken...you couldn't drag me from their side...

Let us know how your Mom is doing...I pray she heals quickly in Jesus name amen!

Rhonie