Oxymorons.....

[Tony Trout]

*DISCLAIMER*.....THESE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE (REFERENCE #19) AND SHOULD BE TAKEN IN A HUMOROUS MANNER...IF THE MODS FEEL THAT IT SHOULD BE DELETED PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO.....



----- Oxymorons ....


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3 If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already
there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13 Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21 Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25 Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Jumbo shrimp?



:p :p :p :p

[froglovesgod]

oh my gosh!! where did you get those? that is sooooo funny!!

[Tony Trout]

oh my gosh!! where did you get those? that is sooooo funny!!


I got them from a Yahoo group I'm a member of.

[froglovesgod]

my mom also read them and she thought they were funny too!

[rock_the_light]

Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?
(I got that one off a commercial!)

[Eowyn]

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!! :d

[The Unknown Gomer]

I used to know a whole bunch of basic ones, but I can only think of two off the top of my head right now -- "Jumbo Shrimp" (which I now just noticed is already on the list, my bad! :o ) and "Military Intelligence". :D

[NotMyOwn]

The one about the second hand is kind of lame, but the rest are okay.

[ausgirl]

Okay, so this could be difficult with the different countries - what do you call your card that you use to pay for goods etc, we call it an eftpos card (electronic funds transfer point of sale see why the abbr) anyway, when one pays for good you select cheque, savings or credit

To the oxymoron (sorry very long winded!)
Why do they call it savings when all you do is spend it!

Sorry, sounds lame now that I've written it!:o

[silly4HIM]

Why do you have to click the start button to shut down your computer?
Why does sour cream have a sell by date?
Why is the Department of Interior responsible for everything outside?
What exactly is Genuine-imitation leather?
Why are there locks on 7-11 stores which are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?
What does non-toxic bug spray kill?
Why are pound cakes only 12 ounces?
Why is a baker's dozen 13?
Why do you go to Family Planning to not have a family?
Why do women have to get Permanents regularly?
What do you do with a tree after you cut it down? You cut it up.

[Drummer Dude Go]

Good ones Tony, and Silly4Him!:D

[silly4HIM]

At a restaurant:
Why do they give you a check instead of a bill?
Why do you pay for your dinner with bills?


King Loon ;)
(oops that's just a moron...not an oxymoron...lol)

[Yippy]

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


Because lust isn't.;)

What exactly is Genuine-imitation leather?
What does non-toxic bug spray kill?

This I want to know.:)

[newsgirl822]

Interesting

[Musicdude]

At a restaurant:
Why do they give you a check instead of a bill?
Why do you pay for your dinner with bills?


King Loon ;)
(oops that's just a moron...not an oxymoron...lol)

And when you ask for the bill, they look at you funny. lol

[prayercloth sis]

*DISCLAIMER*.....THESE ARE NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE (REFERENCE #19) AND SHOULD BE TAKEN IN A HUMOROUS MANNER...IF THE MODS FEEL THAT IT SHOULD BE DELETED PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO.....



----- Oxymorons ....


1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3 If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already
there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13 Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17 If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21 Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25 Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas oxymoron: What other time of the year do you sit in front of a
dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

28. Jumbo shrimp?



:p :p :p :p



Yeah!!!! Tony Tiger...these were lol...loved them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:p

Thanks for a good laugh...been way too long...

Rhonie

[prayercloth sis]

Why do you have to click the start button to shut down your computer?
Why does sour cream have a sell by date?
Why is the Department of Interior responsible for everything outside?
What exactly is Genuine-imitation leather?
Why are there locks on 7-11 stores which are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year?
What does non-toxic bug spray kill?
Why are pound cakes only 12 ounces?
Why is a baker's dozen 13?
Why do you go to Family Planning to not have a family?
Why do women have to get Permanents regularly?
What do you do with a tree after you cut it down? You cut it up.


These were great!!!

I lol....:p

Rhonie

[ExtravagantlyLoved]

Just saw this. That is hilarious!!! :p :p

[lilmikey]

Why would somebody be pretty ugly.