Does your Preacher teach....

[3D Mountain Man]

So I was just reading an blog site of a friend of mine expressing displeasure about an old pastor of mine. That doesn't bother me at all because people can like and dislike whom they choose. It is when the issue of sex being preached in the pulpit came up that led me to post this.

I must say that it is very disappointing to hear someone in my generation (20's) say that sex doesn't belong in the pulpit. I have grown leaps and bounds since I have been out of college and there is one thing that I have had my eyes opened to...when it come to sexuality, our culture is impacting the church far more than the church is impacting the culture.

Just look at statistics...30 years ago Americans spent $10 million on pornography. Today, the pornography industry takes in more than $14 Billion! This is a huge problem (and growing exponentially)and the Church is by no means immune to it. Research indicates that as many as 42% of men who attend church regularly confessed to “struggling” with pornography, as did over 1/3 of all pastors. Promise Keepers research suggests as many as 75% of Christian men struggle with pornography. My job right now is to talk help youth pastors and youth deal with this whole issue. Over half of the youth pastors that I come into contact with each week struggle with pornography. Of those youth pastors, almost all of their teens are struggling with pornography and sexual purity.

Sexuality (and everything under that big umbrella of a word) is THE stronghold that Satan has on Christians and the church has been silent for far too long on the matter. A once a year sermon isn't enough...hearing about a lone pastor preaching about it each week in Colorado is the best news I've heard all year. There are not enough pastors preaching on biblical sexuality!

I can't stress to you enough how important it is for the church to address this. This secret part of our lives needs to be brought out into the open. The bible is full of references to sexual morality, Jesus preaches in the open air in front of thousands about sex, there is an entire book in the Old Testament that is about sex...how can this be ignored by the Body of Christ?

This is just an area I work with and God has been teaching me more and more about. I have a passion to see God's people deal with this. So what do YOU all think about it???


Resources For Teens:
Free Accountability Software (www.x3watch.com)
Every Young Man's Battle by Steve Gallagher
Questions you can’t ask your Mama about Sex by Mike Foster & Craig Gross
Come Clean by Doug Herman

Resources For Adults
Pope John Paul II's teachings on the "Theology of the Body"
*I am not a Catholic but these teachings are the most profound and insightful I have ever read. If you are like me and have a hard time wrapping your head around deep theology and writings...then go find the book by Christopher West called "Theology of the Body Explained" or "Theology of the Body for Beginners". Your life will be changed, I promise.
Free Accountability Software (www.x3watch.com) (We all need it)
National Coalition for Children & Familes (www.nationalcoalition.or g)
Big list of resources (http://www.epm.org/resources-sexual_purity.html)

[Howlin' Wolf]

sex is in the bible

song of songs

[Jake]

I agree with you. As someone who has been attacked in this area, I couldn't agree with you more.

A guy came and talked some about this at our school last year (Some kind of sports ministry, he used to be in the NFL). He said that more people watch pornos in a year, than watch pro sporting events.

[Sharon]

My pastor, Rockwell Dillaman, just finished a whole series on the spirituality of sex and God's original design.

www.acac.net

it was right on.

[3D Mountain Man]

Thanks for the resource Sharon! If anyone else has any good sermons or stuff online dealing with this...post it on here. I've attached a Word document that has a ton of good sites on it. Check them out if you are intersted! :D

[princess1087]

I agree that this issue should be brought up. I admit, I have struggled with this. Also, just recently, our youth pastor respectfully stepped down after he discovered his GF was pregnant. It makes me wonder if perhaps sexuality would have been preached more often in our church, maybe this wouldn't have happened. It possibly still would have, there's no way of knowing for certain, but that still brings up the point that it should be discussed. Too often i find myself questioning it all and i know i shouldn't. it's because being a teen with pier preassure and then the fact that it isn't often discussed leaves me often questioning if it even is all that big of a deal. My mother never even talked to me about it. My sister was the one who discussed it with me after she got married and became pregnant. even so, in my family just mentioning it is like saying the "F" word. It's simply not done. That's the problem with a lot of families i think. Far too conservative to realize that some things, you should be more open with your kids, rather than trying to shelter them from it. For instance, drugs and substance abuse is nothing foreign to my family, considering one of my uncles died in a drunk fight and it nearly destroyed our family prior to that. we talk about it all the time so i never even question it. I find it's proven that the less parents talk about a subject and try to shield their children from it, the more thier child will be curious of and question it. Though i don't suggest a parent expose a child to pornography, i suggest they speak with them more often and openly about sexuality just as they would any other subject of importance. well enough of my rambling. there's my 2 cents on the matter.

[middletree]

Interesting. I don't think I've even known a female to admit this before. I admire your openness.

[Buttabean]

you definitely have a good point. I also admire your honesty in a matter where girls usually don't have much of a say.

[Sharon]

well enough of my rambling. there's my 2 cents on the matter.

Yes but it was a great ramble...and worth more than just 2 cents!!!!!

[3D Mountain Man]

Suprisingly...women are the fastest growing demographic of porn users. Thanks for sharing princess! Older generations need to read what you said because so many are afraid to talk about the S word....gasp! :eek:

[kiwisongbird]

I agree that it needs to be addressed much, much more than it is and openly like people admitting that they struggle with it - man! am I saying' it' all the time...

Like girls should know that they make problems for guys by how they dress, they don't have to dress ugly, just cover up the bits that make hassles and stuff like that...

A local Bible school teaches truck loads about end times and the young people who go to it come out and go live in the big city and don't know anything about the dangers in the sexual area
and most of them come from out of the way places and are very very naive...

:)

Good on you for taking this up as an issue that needs to be addressed more and more.

Bless you :)

[teresaUK]

Our two previous pastors preached on sex (often had us in stitches) and basically preached on the unhibited pleasures of it but only within marriage - of course.
Our pastor also had men's breakfasts where my husband said that they talked openly about the problems of pornography, self abuse & marriage .....and the bible was referred to throughout.
Well, as I'm a woman I didn't go to those - but went to the ladies breakfasts where we talked about the same subjects - but from a woman's perspective.

In my opinion, the devil is having a field day with this subject...... In the world, it is pushed at you everywhere you look....twisted and seductive..... and it is being pushed on our kids in advertising and magazines.
In the church, however.....it is usually a taboo subject..... with guilt, shame and disgust attached to it......when God intended it to be something amazing when within a loving marriage.
The reason it needs to be discussed within the church is because so many of us are sexually damaged from our pasts -even if only from wrong teaching from a parent or a childhood friend etc....(and I don't mean physically - although some of us are)

I had to have ministry in this area......... but it was mostly due to emotional & physical abuse by hospital staff delivering my last child. I was left traumatised for years and didn't know it.

If only more churches were were open about this.

[MadCatholicGomer]

Resources For Adults
Pope John Paul II's teachings on the "Theology of the Body"
*I am not a Catholic but these teachings are the most profound and insightful I have ever read. If you are like me and have a hard time wrapping your head around deep theology and writings...then go find the book by Christopher West called "Theology of the Body Explained" or "Theology of the Body for Beginners". Your life will be changed, I promise.


Mountain Man, how in the world did you get exposed to the Theology of the Body? Most Catholics, not to even mention non-Catholic Christians, haven't even heard of it! Thank you for recommending it to everyone. I'd love to talk with you about it more.

[3D Mountain Man]

Mountain Man, how in the world did you get exposed to the Theology of the Body? Most Catholics, not to even mention non-Catholic Christians, haven't even heard of it! Thank you for recommending it to everyone. I'd love to talk with you about it more.

haha, that is true isn't it? Well I actually work in a Christian ministry (National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families....whew! it is even exhausting to type!)...our entire focus is on moving the people of God to embrace, live out and defend the biblical truth of sexuality. I work in the Kansas City office (headquarters are in Cincy) and we have been working closely with the Kansas archdiocese. The founder of our ministry (Dr. Jerry Kirk) is very ecumenical and knows some of the top bishops in the country and even had an audience with Pope John Paul II. He is a HUGE Theology of the Body guy and all of the staff have read this magnificent piece of work. It is strange that most people are unaware of it, especially considering it was the first work that the Pope did after he was elected! He had a great sense of the importance of understanding sexuality and our bodies in relation to our faith. It is so central! Glad to hear you know of it...it is the best available piece of Christian writing on sexuality in my opinion. I would love to talk to you more about it...feel free to continue posting on here or send me a PM or email!

[MadCatholicGomer]

MM, that is hilarious that it is because of Jerry Kirk: one of my professors in grad school is Dr. Scott Hahn who is Dr. Kirk's son in law.

MM, so do you accept the Catholic Church's position on artificial birth control?

[3D Mountain Man]

crazy! Dr. Kirk always talks about Scott...he is a proud father-in-law. As far as the Catholics position on BC...I understand why that is the position. However, I don't know if I agree with it. I use scripture as the basis for forming my beliefs and the Bible only mentions one form of contraception specifically and condemns it. Coitus interruptus, was used by Onan to avoid fulfilling his duty according to the ancient Jewish law of fathering children for one’s dead brother. "Judah said to Onan, ‘Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.’ But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife he spilled the semen on the ground, lest he should give offspring to his brother. And what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he slew him also" (Gen. 38:8–10). This is the scripture that Catholics use to justify their position. The rest of the evidence to support it is taken from Apostolic tradition (Augustine, Calvin, Wesley, etc.).

Again...I form my beliefs from what scripture teaches and I don't see this one instance in the Old Testament as enough to say that God is against all forms of contraception (condoms, the pill, etc.). I see this as a disobedience of Jewish law...and for that, God was displeased and slew Onan. We are not bound to OT law anymore...Jesus came to fulfill the law. Therefore, I have a hard time agreeing 100% with the Catholic position on birth control. I do not think it is wrong to not use any birth control and respect Catholics (or Protestants) who do...but I don't think the best thing to do is condemn the many Christian couples who do use birth control.

What do you think?

[godsdog]

my dad talks about sex all the time. i don't think there is anything wrong with talking about it in chruch. God created it.. so it should be embraced... as long as your obeying Gods laws i don't see why anyone should get offesive over it

[Gandalf]

I don't think it's proper to even say that Onan was killed because he practiced a form of contraception in general - he was killed because he was selfishly refusing to do his duty to provide for his brother's widow, and that displeased God. To generalize that to even that form of contraception being wrong is not exigetically sound. The verse doesn't speak to the general issue at all.

I'm not trying to encourage people to practice birth control - children are a gift of God: a blessing, not a curse. But, to say it's generally wrong is not supported by Scripture, but only by some traditions. I'll go with what Jesus said about setting up the traditions of men as if they were the laws of God, and leave it to God to deal with individuals' consciences on this issue.

[MadCatholicGomer]

I would like to make a challenge to everyone on here, but especially those who use contraception in their marriage. The best defense of the Christian position (once again, a position that was held by all Christians until 1930) on birth control that I have ever heard comes from Dr. Janet Smith, a Catholic professor. There is a company who is dedicated to helping couples see why contraception hurts their marriage rather than helps it, and they believe so much in the cause that they are willing to give away a free copy of Dr. Smith's talk on the issue. I challenge everyone here to take advantage of this offer, listen to the tape, and get back to me.

http://www.omsoul.com/category19.html

The talk is called, "Contraception, Why Not?"

You will have to enter in a credit card number, but they will not use it. And, if anyone is absolutely against entering in their number but is willing to take this challenge, I will personally buy and ship a copy of this tape to your house(though I hope you guys won't make me do that too much, since I don't have that much money).

Also, look around on this website... it is a wonderful company with a beautiful ministry.

[3D Mountain Man]

how do we get it free? it says it is 5 bucks.

[MadCatholicGomer]

The third product on the link talks about getting it as a free copy.

[3D Mountain Man]

got it...thanks! I'll give it a listen!

[Pouye]

I don't think it's proper to even say that Onan was killed because he practiced a form of contraception in general - he was killed because he was selfishly refusing to do his duty to provide for his brother's widow, and that displeased God. To generalize that to even that form of contraception being wrong is not exigetically sound. The verse doesn't speak to the general issue at all.

I'm not trying to encourage people to practice birth control - children are a gift of God: a blessing, not a curse. But, to say it's generally wrong is not supported by Scripture, but only by some traditions. I'll go with what Jesus said about setting up the traditions of men as if they were the laws of God, and leave it to God to deal with individuals' consciences on this issue.

I agree... how original... ;)

Rock

[The Oddball]

I agree with you guys that it should be discussed more often in church settings. There is a guy who came to my church to speak about it before, and is coming again later this year. His little seminar thing is absolutely hilarious. It is designed for married couples, but he also encourages teenagers or unwed couples to come to the seminar also. It isn't like listening to someone preach. It's actually more like a stand-up comic adressing the hard issues. Here is his website www.laughyourway.com

I hope you enjoy. He is coming back to my church sometime soon, so if any of you will be in the Phoenix area this fall and are interested, send me a PM or something and I'll try to get more info on the dates.

[prayercloth sis]

My parents never said a word. Sex wasn't talked about in our home or church or sunday school or school. I wish it would have been discussed in the right forum. We try to have an open time for our teens to speak without being embarassed.

[Skw0484]

in response to sex being taught from the pulpit, i think it is great in the context that it shows the gospel's validity in all aspects of life.

however, i've noticed that modern church teachings on marraige and romance can be developed fundamentally flawed bases; the most prominent being that every individual is owed a marraige. i can't begin to count how many people i've talked to/heard talk that used the phrase "when i find my spouse" or "my future husband/wife". they state it like it's a fact, which i don't see to be biblically admirable at all.

[for the record, i see this as conditioning brought on by subconscious prosperiety theology and the pursuit of american dream ideals over the pursuit of God's will.]

it HURTS to imagine that God might have singlehood intended for any of our lives. i don't like the idea that it could be in my future. it freaks me out. but by using my fear of physical [sexual] loneliness to promote an agenda that God may have never intended is just wrong.

another destructive effect of teaching this principle is that it could result in a marraige outside of the will of God... i truly believe that this kind of approach to marraige is the basis for a good amount of future divorces. it bothers me that some cry about the homosexual community disrespecting the institution of marraige [which, i think, they do] without confronting those in the heterosexual community that do the same thing.

in short... teaching marraige and it's principles in church is GREAT! let's keep it up. but not to appease our wants. ["Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife." - 1 corinthians 7:27]

i'm waiting for what He's got for me, and i'll take whatever HE's got over whatever I want anyday.

[SueQ]

I just read a book called, "The Single Truth" which took away the fear of never being married...it's a great read even if you are...It does a great job of demonstrating and ACCEPTING God's purpose for you, whatever it is.....don't know if I ever will marry...I'd like to...but I know it'll be great either way as long as I look to Him.....btw...I'm also reading a book called, "Am I the One?" about preparing yourself to be a Godly spouse....just covering my bases... ;)

[Art Gallery]

"Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched in dew, my hair with the dampness of the night. I have taken off my robe - must I put it on again?"
- Song Of Songs 5:2-3

"May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine."
- Song Of Songs 7:8-9


Well.... it seems like God doesn't have much of a problem talking about sex (in the union of marriage). It seems like we are the ones having more of a problem talking about it from the pulpit. I think it is always one of those subjects people will always giggle about or may be difficult just to talk about it like adults.

But, if "Song Of Songs" were not in the Bible, it would probably be in the "erotica poetry" section.... maybe Barnes and Noble and/or adult stores. Could be banned from the library, who knows.

But, it's a Book that when you read it.... "Oh my gosh, this is in the Bible??"
yep!