When is it okay...

[heartbreakpres]

To lose your temper?
A friend and I had an arguement and I was wondering what all you lovely people's opionions are!
*~Heather~*

[ayfan]

To lose your temper?
A friend and I had an arguement and I was wondering what all you lovely people's opionions are!
*~Heather~*
I would have to say that it is never OK to lose your temper (although we all have at some point in our life :o ). It's better to remain calm and rational. People are more likely to listen to your opinion on a matter if you are calm. And your friends are less likely to get mad at you while you are trying to get your point across.

[DareDevil]

A few years ago my mom tried to bring a new telephone back to the shop. It was out of order and she wanted a new one since she had bought that one only a couple of days earlier. Well, I was with her in that store and the employee treated her like an idiot and then I lost my temper. I did not attack him but I think that my outbreak scared him. Oh, my mom had a new telephone only a few minutes later.

Still, sometimes I wonder whether my outbreak was okay. I mean, maybe one could call it righteous anger but I am not totally comfortable about it.

[Pouye]

I would have to say that it is never OK to lose your temper (although we all have at some point in our life :o ). It's better to remain calm and rational. People are more likely to listen to your opinion on a matter if you are calm. And your friends are less likely to get mad at you while you are trying to get your point across.

"A hothead starts fights; a cool-tempered person tries to stop them."
Proverbs 15:8

Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit... however it is sometimes OK to get angry. Didn't Jesus drive out a bunch of money changers from the Temple with a whip? I doubt He did it with a calm smile on His face and a calm "I love, brother" with each crack of the whip.

Children usually learn to control their emotions with good parental training at an early age (usually under 6). Throwing a temper tantrum or a hissy fit once and a while is a natural part of human social development. A core aspect of parental training/discipline is to help children learn to deal with their internal emotional conflicts and express them in appropriate ways. Some children need more training than others to learn not to "get out of control".

I've met adults who have never learned to control their emotions. Males, in particular, (partially because of higher testosterone levels) often have more trouble controlling their tempers than females. When grown men throw a tantrum it is called a "rage".

There are thousands of grown men in the USA and around the world who kick things, bust down doors, punch holes in walls, and beat their wives and children because they don't know how to control their anger and have learned that such behavior can have advantages.

Many females also are guilty of these same things; but in general the "weaker sex" isn't as prone to rages and they learn to control their emotions better than males do.

It is interesting that the best professional fighters in the world (boxers, kickboxers, kung-fu masters, etc.) learn to control their temper, realizing that "losing your head" doesn't help to defeat your opponent, but rather is a hinderance. In fact, the fighter that loses his/her head in a professional match usually ends up the loser. (Movies never portray this correctly... for in the movies, the guy/gal that gets the most "mad" usually wins, which is quite stupid, IMHO).

Human instinct is very strong in this matter. Many physiological changes occur when something dangerous or painful happens to us or to someone we love. Our body floods with adrenaline, increasing our heart rate and dilates all blood vessels and airways, preparing the body for increased action, speed, agility and strength. Our body also began to put out chemicals similar to pain killers. Everything goes into "high alert" mode. During these times, losing your temper is as easy as giving into your physical instinctal drives that are screaming at you to join them.

All these instintual things are for our protection and the protection of others. Like fire, our instincts can be used for good or evil. If something heavy starts to fall on your baby, for instance, the instinctual reactions in the body can make a mom super strong and fast just when she needs to be. Stories of women lifting a car off of their child (which some have proven to be true) attest to the amazing things our bodies can do "under the influence" of our natural defenses.

So is it ok to lose your temper? In most cases, I would say no. Learning to control yourself even when your body is sreaming for you to give into your instincts can save your life. Panic (the "flight" part of our "fight or flight" instict) often kills people because they don't think about what they are doing. Road rage (people having tantrums while driving) kills hundreds of people every year.

The ability to keep his/her head even in an intensely dangerous situation is what the US special forces looks for in a recruit. Those who can think clearly under high stress and in potentially deadly situations are those who make the cut. You will never find a Green Baret who is a hothead.

Losing your temper can cost you your life and can endanger your family. If I had a dime every time a father got pis***-off and did something stupid, costing his own life or the lives of his family members, I would be rich.

Rock

[larryl]

not exactly sure how it fits into this context, but i think it is safe to say Jesus lost his temper that day in the temple that day......

[Pouye]

not exactly sure how it fits into this context, but i think it is safe to say Jesus lost his temper that day in the temple that day......

But I wouldn't say that He lost control... there is a big difference. God doesn't throw temper tantrums.

Rock

[meak]

there's a big difference between righteous anger and just losing your temper. you could lose your temper and get what you want (i.e. the phone situation) but it doesn't mean you are justified in doing so just because it gets you what you want. and i'm not picking on lonewolf and saying i may have not done the same thing. but if we're looking at this as black and white, right and wrong that's the way it is.

about the boxing thing someone brought up, it's all about training. any form of martial arts, boxing etc. they are taught control and put in fighting situations so they can learn to be calm and collected while in a confrontation. you take anyone, no matter how big or strong they are, and put them in their first fight they will be so pumped with adreneline and just go in kicking and swinging and they always end up on the ground rolling with the one they are fighting. you take a seasoned, educated fighter he is able to put his emotions aside and fight logically because he's learned to control his emotions. as for guys losing control of their tempers more than girls, i don't know about that. i think they just express their anger differently. a lot of guys do kick and punch walls or their family etc. women don't lose their temper in a physical fighting manor. they break their ex-boyfriends golf clubs and destroy his clothes and other possessions, they spread rumors that could potentially hurt and the like. and just to throw this in, i know usually if a women will, say, destroy possesions of a guys it's because of a nasty break up or he was cheating on her. even though what he did would be considered wrong and you think it's justifed to do those things it's still an act of losing one's temper.

[heartbreakpres]

But I wouldn't say that He lost control... there is a big difference. God doesn't throw temper tantrums.

Rock


As true as that is, I meant for my question to be answered rationally. Though we all strive to remain calm cool and collected, we all lose it. Not necessarily lose control, though we often do that as well. But lose their temper.

[Pouye]

As true as that is, I meant for my question to be answered rationally. Though we all strive to remain calm cool and collected, we all lose it. Not necessarily lose control, though we often do that as well. But lose their temper.

It all depends on what your definition of "lose your temper" is. I cannot, in my adult life, ever remember "losing my temper" (my "temperment" is the type that cannot be brought to a boil very easily). I think I remember almost losing my temper with my brother when he got very angry with my mother once and started yelling at her. I was visibly shaken up and my brother and I nearly got into a physical fight. But I never "lost it". For me, losing your temper means getting out of control and no longer thinking rationally. Do boxers lose their tempers? Sometimes... but not very often. When a guy hits his wife, he has lost control. Jesus never lost His temper, He got angry (righteously) and used calculated action... He didn't flip out. I highly doubt that anyone can be truly and "righteously" angry like Jesus was (He was, after all, God in the flesh):

"But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." Col. 3:8

Rock

[heartbreakpres]

Yeah, I guess you are right, thank GOd we are all saved and forgiven. Praise God.

[godsdog]

i don't think it rite to lose ur temper... but i do think its ok to have disagreements. my finace and i are not afraid to have a disagreement.. but we always stop as soon as we lose our tempers.... i think it just makes the person look ugly...thats all

[sarah chloe]

Though it definitely happens, I would say that it's never okay to lose your temper. Among other things, it does nothing but show your immaturity.

[prayercloth sis]

Be angry and sin not. Not a good idea to lose your temper along with control of your emotions but it does happen. Still striving to do better. Great topic.

[ObiShawn]

Be angry and sin not.

Yes, Ephesians 4:26. Anger is an emotion just like love and joy. When you make a decision based off any emotion, that is when it can lead to trouble. Pouye has it right; self-control.

It isn't a sin to be angry, but what you do in your anger is what matters.

[Mugirl04]

I would say that it is okay to lose your temper. I would say it is not okay to sin out of your anger. Like God gets anger and he doesn't sin. But when we get angry we sin sometimes