Important Notice

[Johnny 59]

Important Notice:
DUE TO RECENT BUDGET CUTS,
AND THE RISING COST OF ELECTRICITY, GAS AND OIL,
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

Sincerely,
The Government




How to wash a toilet:


This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you...

1. Put both lids of the toilet up

And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.




2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.



3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.


4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.


5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.



6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.


7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.



8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
And run outside where he will dry himself off.



9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
http://lifeboat.com/heroes/frazzled.cat.jpg


Sincerely,

The Dog


Be who you are and say what you feel - because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss-

[NurseBettyLu]

You have a sick and twisted sense of humor. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

[Johnny 59]

http://www.bearpawbassets.com/pups.jpg
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his
tongue.

-Anonymous

http://www.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/2210301/2/istockphoto_2210301-puppy-licking-childs-face.jpg

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.

-Ben Williams

http://www.hugpug.com/photos/sheba_layout2/0815_02.jpg

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

-Josh Billings

http://www.pointinggundogs.com/httpdocs/picture_files/July2007PollyPupsAttackTr av.jpg

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

-Andy Rooney

http://www.guy-sports.com/fun_pictures/dog_chick.jpg

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

-Franklin P. Jones

http://www.livenews.com.au/static/articles/55249/F_0_dog_running_g_320.jpg

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

-Unknown

http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f119/lovelladro/DSCN0470_1_1.jpg

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.

That's almost $21.00 in dog money.

-Joe Weinstein

http://www.mindscapesonline.com/catalog/images/24dog_and_cat.jpg

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,

he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between

a dog and a man.

-Mark Twain

http://insanefrog.com/images/puppy-eyes-nov-05.gif

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

-Roger Caras

http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a223/sxy2385/HappyDog.jpg

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog

biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two
of them.

-Phil Pastoret

[Light Hearted]

ROTFLMBO!!! This is just great! :D