Internet dating sites?

[sandie]

Has anyone else tried internet dating sites? How are you finding the process?

I put myself on three in the last month - one Christian, two secular, but one has a Christian Singles Community I've joined. In the profiles, I've described myself as a Christian twice, including the heading, and involved with my Churches of Christ church.

So, far, the response has been amazing. Overwhelming. There are so many lonely people out there. I've had four men I'd describe as desperate - on the basis of my smiling face and profie, they have emailed me some quite personal info about themselves. One from Queensland wants to fly down to meet me. Two from the UK and two from the USA want to communicate with me. It's a long way for them to come for a coffee. :P

Christians have been in the minority so far, though I am now getting responses from Christian men in Queensland. My adult son lives in Sydney, and I couldn't see myself moving away from Michael and any future grandchildren.

So far, I'm getting so many responses, that I've avoided answering most and I'm going to have to reply to them. Am going to have to cull many this weekend.

And yes, I am praying through this exercise. I was given a word from God - twice at the same prayer day, by conscutive people, to not be afraid, and I understand this to be about looking for someone to marry.

These are my thoughts at present. Over to you for your experiences.

[ayfan]

Over the past few years I've tried a few places off and on. At all 3 places I clearly specified that I was looking for a Christian that was actually having a relationship with God. And I specified an age range. I wasn't interested in getting involved with someone 25 years older than me....with kids my age:rolleyes: .

So anyway, the first two websites, no one could read. And I had all sorts of loonies responding. I think there were guys looking for anyone to meet them somewhere:eek: . I even had ones claiming to be athiests. Now, why an athiest would be interested in a Christian girl who is looking for a Christian guy is beyond me! And some that were waaaaayyy older than me:rolleyes: . Is there anything wrong with wanting someone closer to my age??

Sadly, the reality of living in Connecticut is that there really aren't that many available quality Christain men out there. And the ones that are there may not match your personality. So I didn't have any luck there.

Then I tried out eharmony for awhile. I met some guys that I did like, but none of them were anywhere near me! 2000 miles is quite a bit of distance between us! I thought I found a guy on there...but that didn't work out. Alot of miscommunication there! And there was another one there that I was getting along with just fine and dandy, and then he just stopped all communication! :confused: :confused: Too bad, because I really liked him!

So all in all, I guess I really haven't had good luck on internet dating sites. And I think I have given up on them all together. :)

[sandie]

Thanks for the response. :)

I've also wondered about dating non-Christians. There is a dearth of Christian men everywhere. One of my best friends found an internet match. He's lovely, goes to church with her and she's waiting on the Lord to save him. He's never been an atheist, however.

I've also found age differences. A number of men in their 30's have contacted me. Flattering, but surely they want someone younger, especially if they want children.

[Aussie3rddayfan]

I go to a wonderful church. Fantastic Bible-based teaching, wonderful ready-to-serve people and great ministries. And it will only get better with Connect 09. There's just one problem. At the evening service where I attend (ie. the young people's service) there are no - no, not one - spunky young Christian women for the 12 - yes, 12 - eligable bachelor's that attend. Who did the maths for that? :rolleyes:

[sandie]

Perhaps you should visit my church's evening service. :P Or go to other churches that have a service that will appeal to teens and twenties. There are plenty of Christian ladies out there.

[Aussie3rddayfan]

There was an interesting article in the Southern Cross a month or so ago. It was titled 'Hot chick fail to draw young men to church' or something like that. The author was pointing out that in his church the plethora of attractive young woman was failing to attract young christian men to ministry. Both myself and a few friends felt like writing to the editor and asking "Where is this church?!" :D

[sandie]

First, don't believe anything you read in the Southern Cross. :P

Second, probably every other church! There are usually more Christian females than males. Or, try a Christian dating site. I have been astounded at the response.

[YankeeGomer]

In May of 2006 I joined match.com and met a gal named Rebekah...Oct 2007 I married her :)

[sandie]

That sounds good.

I'm on the Australian version of match.com, which means I've had men keen to meet me from New York, Ohio, London and Oxford in the UK. :rolleyes:

[Jason]

I tried eHarmony a couple years ago. It's a good site. But my disability is always the major turn off. I've resigned myself to staying single.

[sandie]

Yes, it would be so hard for you, Jason.

[Aussie3rddayfan]

I tried eHarmony a couple years ago. It's a good site. But my disability is always the major turn off. I've resigned myself to staying single.

It is in God's hands my friend. If he wants you to marry then you will marry, if not, then his plan for you is being single.

That sounds good.

I'm on the Australian version of match.com, which means I've had men keen to meet me from New York, Ohio, London and Oxford in the UK.

That's kind of flattering and kind of creepy at the same time.

[Beachcomber]

My sister has been on a number of them and has had nothing but trouble!!!!!!! I would stick with more reputable ones like e harmony or match.com!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just my opion!!!!!!!!

[sandie]

It is in God's hands my friend. If he wants you to marry then you will marry, if not, then his plan for you is being single.



That's kind of flattering and kind of creepy at the same time.

That's very perceptive, Col. There are some very needy people out there, and I find them worrying. I'm looking for a whole person, not someone who needs a crutch.

Thanks for the comment, Beth. I agree - it's best to stick to the more reputable sites.

[VeggieFan05]

I had a good experience, too...joined eHarmony September 2007, met my future husband on there the next month...we've been married since May. :) I guess at one time eHarmony might have passed for a "Christian" dating site but it's anything but that now...just check out some of their dating 'advice' articles on their website...bleh! God used EH to bring Jim and me together quite promptly, but I don't think their system works as well as they claim. :)

[sandie]

That's a great story. So glad it worked out for you. Some of these sites do have some strange advice, and some strange questions. (Do I like skinny dipping?) Act appropriately as a Christian anyway.

[Beachcomber]

Thanks for the comment, Beth. I agree - it's best to stick to the more reputable sites.

If anything as I have found with my sister you get some pretty amusing stories to tell!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[rossid]

Is this a girl thread? :P

[Beachcomber]

Is this a girl thread? :P

Are you a girl?????:D No, I'm sure a guy could give some good advice too!!!!!!!:rolleyes:

[sandie]

Not any more. :P

[Beachcomber]

Not any more. :P

Good one!!!!!!!!!!:D

[rossid]

Great. I was trying to get your attention. Success!!! :cool:

[ChristChild]

Here is a bit of feedback from a 43 year old guy's perspective:

One of my best friends and I are both single, Christian men. I have not tried internet dating, but he has. He was on one of the reputable sites for a long time and spent several thousands dollars and found no one. He has gone to the local dating deals where you sit and talk to women for a few minutes, and then move on to the next one to hopefully find someone you want to go out with. He found no one.

He went to a particular church for a few years and attended their "Christian Singles" meetings. High on his list is physical beauty, yet he was attempting to find someone with a good heart and not focus so much on her appearance. He went for many months to get to know the women there, and he liked one girl who had a deformity to her leg. He finally asked her out and was promptly shot down. What was worse was that another woman there, whom he did not like, became jealous that he asked the other girl out and not her, despite the fact that the other girl shot him down. This woman, my friend discovered later, had been in a mental institution previously, and probably still needed to be there. She proceeded to spread all kinds of lies throughout the church about him, so he eventually left.

In a different church, more recently, he thought that he'd found a nice girl, until she began going wacky on him. She actually went to the emergency room at a hospital for "emotional stress" and said it happened often. He meets women at his job (hotel night auditor) and all the available women seem just as wacky.

At one time, more to the point of this thread, he met someone on the internet and talked to her on the phone and by email for several months. He thought he was in love, but when he went to meet her, he quickly discovered that most of the things she had told him were lies, and that she had lied to her parents about him as well. He was in love with her fictional character basically. He was heartbroken and cut that relationship off quickly.

On to me:

I have been watching his debacles online, so I have never tried it. His sister was in the same boat as us, but now she is engaged to be married. How did she find her guy? A mutual friend introduced them. I really believe this is one of the best ways to meet someone. The problem is having a mutual friend that knows an available person they believe may be right for you, and then having them actually make the effort to put you two together. This is a very rare thing.

I ended up checking out the church singles group he had gone to previously, as it had been over a year since he had gone. It is the only one I know of in our area. This is how it went:

First, some high ranking person in the church gave a sermon directed at singles. I thought that was okay, as long as that wasn't all there was to it. I can hear a sermon by attending regular church and watch afterward as all the available women shun me and sprint to their cars and drive away.

Afterward, they announced that they would break up into tables of about six people each to discuss the message. I thought, "Okay, here is where they mix the single guys and girls and you get to know each other by talking about the message!" WRONG! The imbeciles divided everyone into male and female tables! I then found out that most of the guys at my table were as nutty as some of the women my friend had met, so I guess there is nuttiness to spread around.

After two hours, I could see that this "singles meeting" was nothing other than another platform to suck people into the megachurch that was behind it. They NEVER put any of the single men and women together to get to know each other. Suffice it to say, I will not return to this joke of a "Christian Singles meeting."

The second church that we went to, the one with the emotionally stressed girl my friend was interested in, was no better. We originally went there because a woman I work with wanted me to meet an available lady she knew. This seemed to go okay right at the beginning, but after I had gone out with her in groups three times, and twice alone, during a period of nearly five weeks, she still kept me at arm's length. She wouldn't even let me hug her good night. After all that time, the conversations, emails, dates, etc... she said she barely considered me a friend and didn't feel secure around me yet. :confused: Basically, she was an Ice Queen. I found out early on that she had been divorced, yet over the five weeks she never mentioned that to me. It was told to me by the woman who wanted me to meet her. I also eventually found out that she took SEVEN YEARS before she married her first husband. Yes, I think "Ice Queen" is the correct term. Maybe that had something to do with the divorce as well.

In conclusion, I think I will remain single until the Lord brings someone along like he did for my friend's sister. The guy she is engaged to is really a good guy. I'm waiting on the Lord to bring me a nice girl. I'm just sick of all the dating schemes right now. I am glad for those who did meet someone through them, but, with my track record, I'll probably just be fooled and/or heartbroken again.

Shane

[SueQ]

Sorry to hear about that Shane...finding the right one is hard....I'm in the same boat.

My niece DID find her husband on eHarmony...after a few tries....

[ayfan]

How did she find her guy? A mutual friend introduced them. I really believe this is one of the best ways to meet someone. The problem is having a mutual friend that knows an available person they believe may be right for you, and then having them actually make the effort to put you two together. This is a very rare thing.



Introductions from a mutual friend is not always a good thing:P . I have been on quite a few blind dates set up by various mutual friends. And only 1 of them was a person that I had anything in common with and actually liked. All the others were disasters! It was basically two people on a date with the only thing in common was being single, other than that, completely different priorities in life, different beliefs, different taste in people, different everything! Can we say awkward?? And then I wonder if my friends really "know" me and are really looking for the best thing for me :rolleyes: . After each of these disasterous blind dates, I always say "never again!" But I really don't want to give up all hope. Who knows, maybe the next one will be the right one! :D In the mean time, I shall keep enjoying the single life, hanging out with my pooch:D

[mcgreen311]

I actually did the craigslist thing once (I'm "frugal"). I conversed with a few guys, and went out with one, but there was a lot of weeding out to do. I always had the best email exchanges with the athiests/non-religious types. The "Christians" were just, like, Yeah, I'm Christian, but that was it.

My favorite, though, was the guy who thought the biggest problem with dating me was that he lived too far away, not that he was older than me and an athiest. Mind you, he only lived the next county over and was 75 (!) but the biggest problem was that he lived too far way. Turns out he wasn't really interested in a relationship, if you know what I mean. :eek:

[Light Hearted]

Two very good christian on line dating websites are "Christian cafe.com & Christian mingle.com" I joined the latter one recently and the prices are very reasonable plus everyone I've met thus far has been a christian. My sister has been on both and felt the same way about christian cafe so, check them out.

[NurseBettyLu]

I don't date. That simplifies things a lot.

[Light Hearted]

I don't date. That simplifies things a lot.
I suppose dating interferes with your coffee addiction. ;)

[rossid]

Either the husband or the wife cannot drink coffee in a relationship? :P

[ledzeppelingirl]

My cousin just got married on Saturday to a guy she met online, and she moved to Florida to be with him last year, so I guess they do work sometimes...

[Beachcomber]

My sister showed us this one guy she was chatting with and I read the section where he writes about what he likes/dilikes it was hilarious!!!!!!!! I'm sure it's more than true and I shouldn't laugh, but OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I will se if she can get me to it again today and I'll post it here, you guys might get a kick out of it too and find out what kind of people are looking for dates :eek: At least I think the majority of them!!!!!!!!!

[Light Hearted]

My sister showed us this one guy she was chatting with and I read the section where he writes about what he likes/dilikes it was hilarious!!!!!!!! I'm sure it's more than true and I shouldn't laugh, but OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I will se if she can get me to it again today and I'll post it here, you guys might get a kick out of it too and find out what kind of people are looking for dates :eek: At least I think the majority of them!!!!!!!!!
Ok, now I'm really curious what this poor guy wrote. :D

[Tony Trout]

Two very good christian on line dating websites are "Christian cafe.com & Christian mingle.com" I joined the latter one recently and the prices are very reasonable plus everyone I've met thus far has been a christian. My sister has been on both and felt the same way about christian cafe so, check them out.


*writes them down*


I had a good experience, too...joined eHarmony September 2007, met my future husband on there the next month...we've been married since May. :) I guess at one time eHarmony might have passed for a "Christian" dating site but it's anything but that now...just check out some of their dating 'advice' articles on their website...bleh! God used EH to bring Jim and me together quite promptly, but I don't think their system works as well as they claim. :)


Ok, now this is weird. I was thinking 'bout you the other day and wondering how things were goin' for you and your fiancee (now hubby)! Glad to see you're doing well, hun!! Congratulations!!!

[Beachcomber]

Ok, now I'm really curious what this poor guy wrote. :D

I couldn't get his profile thing, my sister said she didn't wany him to think she was trying to contact him!!!!!!!!!! :( It was very funny!!!!!!!! Something like, if you take paxil have any mental issues, have ever seen a psychiatrist? just gotten out of a relationship etc, please don't comtact me!!!!!!!!!!! It was really long and just a riot and that just goes to show you some of the kooks that can be on soe of those sites!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: But the reason my sister is avoiding him is because he was sending her extremely inapropriate text messages!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:

[Light Hearted]

I couldn't get his profile thing, my sister said she didn't wany him to think she was trying to contact him!!!!!!!!!! :( It was very funny!!!!!!!! Something like, if you take paxil have any mental issues, have ever seen a psychiatrist? just gotten out of a relationship etc, please don't comtact me!!!!!!!!!!! It was really long and just a riot and that just goes to show you some of the kooks that can be on soe of those sites!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: But the reason my sister is avoiding him is because he was sending her extremely inapropriate text messages!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolleyes:
YIKES! serious red flag right there for sure. :eek:

[R. Smith]

Well, for some people on-line dating works. But I've found, it doesn't work for me. I believe in my heart, God has some1 out there for me.

[sandie]

Okay. Now I need to talk again!!!

Two guys have been emailing me. One lives in Brisbane (12 hours away). So far, I've told him I'm not intending to move from Sydney, as my adult son lives here and I'm intending to be an slightly eccentric grandmother one day. :P

On Wednesday I said I found it hard to lose weight, and not to be under any misapprehension about me - I'm an ordinary person living a quiet life. i didn't want him to build me up into a fantasy. Now I've gone from 'dear' to 'honey' and he'd like to me me early in December, when he gets back from London with his 8 year old son. (He's a widower.) And, he thinks he can help me lose weight. Also, he likes Third Day's music.

I think I need prayer about this one. Would you guys pray about this? This is coming straight out of left field.

[sandie]

I thinkl I'm going to tell him I have buck teeth and a hump. ;)

[sandie]

So, is anyone else trying internet dating at present? How's it going?

I'm on three sites, and I'm finding it hard to decide how to respond to winks/kisses and emails. With some of the men, I'm not sure, and I tend not to reply. I need to be more decisive. Maybe I need to start a dialogue with as many as possible, then go out for coffee with the more interesting ones.

I'm pulling out sole parents, and men with Masters Degrees and PhD's because of the profile I submitted. Mainly non-Christians, probably looking for a nice lady. Not sure how to respond to the non-Christians.

The gentleman I mentioned above, is still in London and still very keen to get to know me. I'd like him to fall in love with me, not just what he has read on my profile (adorable though I might be.) :P We'll speak on the phone tomorrow for the first time when he gets a phone card. It will be interesting.

[NurseBettyLu]

I thinkl I'm going to tell him I have buck teeth and a hump. ;)

What if he's into that?

[sandie]

LOL. Must send him another photo. :P He sent me three photos. He's good looking, so is the 8 year old. Even the dog is good looking, and features with him on Messenger. They're all far too cute, in my opinion. ;)

[sandie]

And..... he's a good cook, he says.

[mcgreen311]

And..... he's a good cook, he says.

That's what they all say.;)

[sandie]

Either he's a good cook, or he and his son eat out a lot. :P

I've spoken to him briefly, and hopefully will have an extended conversation with him today. He's so keen on me, sight unseen, and believes I'm the one for him. I have no idea - it's far too early. After all, I haven't tasted his cooking, yet. :D

[mcgreen311]

Either he's a good cook, or he and his son eat out a lot. :P

I've spoken to him briefly, and hopefully will have an extended conversation with him today. He's so keen on me, sight unseen, and believes I'm the one for him. I have no idea - it's far too early. After all, I haven't tasted his cooking, yet. :D

Hmm...that might worry me a bit, but it sounds like you've got the right perspective on it. And by the way, this:

I'm on three sites, and I'm finding it hard to decide how to respond to winks/kisses and emails. With some of the men, I'm not sure, and I tend not to reply. I need to be more decisive. Maybe I need to start a dialogue with as many as possible, then go out for coffee with the more interesting ones.

sounds like a good game plan to me. You never know, he might seem like a loser in the profile but a winner in real life. (That was a nice use of cliche especially for you, the grammarian!)

[sandie]

Speaking of cliche... "too many cooks spoil the broth.".... so he can do all the cooking. :D

He sounds like a nice man, and is a Christian too, but I'd rather he falls in love with me after he meets me, not before.

[mcgreen311]

You know, I'm a pretty good cook too. I'm just saying. ;)

[sandie]

I can cook. I just prefer not to. :D

[Jason]

You know, I'm a pretty good cook too. I'm just saying. ;)

Have I told you I like to eat? ;)

[mcgreen311]

Have I told you I like to eat? ;)

Hmm...a guy from the internet named Jason. Sounds fishy. ;)

No, you haven't told me you like to eat. Are you allergic to anything?

[Jason]

Hmm...a guy from the internet named Jason. Sounds fishy. ;)

No, you haven't told me you like to eat. Are you allergic to anything?

Whoops ... I thought this was an internet dating site.

But no, I'm not allergic to anything.

[mcgreen311]

Whoops ... I thought this was an internet dating site.

But no, I'm not allergic to anything.

You'd think that wouldn't you?

Ok, if you're not allergic to anything, what am I supposed to cook for you? Arsenic is sort of played out, although I do have an old lace table cloth...

[Jason]

You'd think that wouldn't you?

Ok, if you're not allergic to anything, what am I supposed to cook for you? Arsenic is sort of played out, although I do have an old lace table cloth...

Rat poison is still in, I think.

And be very afraid of Jasons from the intertubes.

[mcgreen311]

Rat poison is still in, I think.

And be very afraid of Jasons from the intertubes.

The intertubes? Is that what you use in a water park? intarwebs, I know, intertubes, I know not.

How about good ol' hemlock? Absynthe also has a pretty sounding name. Hemlock salad with Absynthe basted pork chops?

[Jason]

The intertubes? Is that what you use in a water park? intarwebs, I know, intertubes, I know not.

How about good ol' hemlock? Absynthe also has a pretty sounding name. Hemlock salad with Absynthe basted pork chops?

The internet is a series of tubes according to former senator Ted Stevens.

Absynthe works.

[mcgreen311]

The internet is a series of tubes according to former senator Ted Stevens.

Absynthe works.

Aha...So you do actually have some valuable knowledge in that brain of yours. I was beginning to wonder. I'll search the tubes for an absynthe recipe (though I personally prefer the term webamagraph (http://www.watleyreview.com/AdBabbage.html)).

So sandie, how does it feel to be hijacked?

[Jason]

Aha...So you do actually have some valuable knowledge in that brain of yours. I was beginning to wonder. I'll search the tubes for an absynthe recipe (though I personally prefer the term webamagraph (http://www.watleyreview.com/AdBabbage.html)).

So sandie, how does it feel to be hijacked?

Yes, some valuable knowledge, but only some.

[mcgreen311]

Yes, some valuable knowledge, but only some.

Some is better than none.

sandie, you should definitely post your finalists to this thread. You can set up a poll and we can choose for you!

[sandie]

The only problem is that new contenders keep on appearing. Also, I see guys and wonder whether I should make contact.

The persistent one keeps on wanting to talk about a relationship, while I'm trying to find out what he is like. Wanted to put his 8 year old son on to email me. Slow down, you're going too fast.... :P

[Gaudete]

My cousin, 61 and never married, met a woman last year through match.com. They're getting married in July. :)

[mcgreen311]

So sandie, what's the status? You must provide continuous updates.

[Light Hearted]

The only problem is that new contenders keep on appearing. Also, I see guys and wonder whether I should make contact.

The persistent one keeps on wanting to talk about a relationship, while I'm trying to find out what he is like. Wanted to put his 8 year old son on to email me. Slow down, you're going too fast.... :P
That's the problem when you get to many lines in the water at once. Too many choices. ;)

[sandie]

There are so many men out there. I'm like a pig in mud. :P

I will give an update now. The gentleman in London, the persistent one, is proving to be interesting after a rocky start. We've spoken on the phone, and typed for hours this weekend as he has a problem with his phone. There's a list of criteria on my fridge, and I'm praying for a man who meets the criteria. I couldn't see much of a sense of humour, which is absolutely essential, but now he's relaxing and being less intense, it's coming out. Talking about ourselves and our backgrounds. I'm an English as a Second Language teacher with a background in cross-cultural issues, and he was brought up mainly in Norway. Many women my age wouldn't take on a child, and he has an 8 year old, but I don't find it an issue. I brought up my own son alone, and felt that I missed out on raising a child with another parent. 'Reasonable looking' is on my list, and he is quite good looking. (Some of the men on the internet sites in their 50's look old and a bit wrinkly.)

Basically, we're exploring the territory and I'm matching items on my prayer list. He's talking about visiting me with his son. I've asked him about ladies in London. He's gone out, but hasn't been interested in any of them, and finds me interesting. (I have ticked the box for intelligence for this response alone.) ;) He goes to church, and I want to explore the issue of Christian faith with him.

I'd appreciate your prayers, folks. I can date others, as I'm getting regular responses, but feel that I need to sort this out with R, as he's obviously serious about me.

[sandie]

Hi folks. I'd still appreciate your prayers, and comments as I am now becoming serious about this man, and he is sure I am the one for him. Sydney is a long distance from London. :eek:

[Tony Trout]

Prayers coming your way, Sandie! Just use wisdom, my friend/sister-in-Christ.

[JanetRN]

I was going to do online dating... signed up.. but then didn't have the consistent time. People would send me messages but I didn't respond in enough time and they got bored and moved on.

So I'm going to wait until one of my friends sets me up with someone! I too agree that's probably the only way to meet some one who's not crazy!

[sandie]

Janet: Nobody has ever set me up with someone! Internet dating will get you the responses, as you know, if you're prepared to put the effort in.

Tony: Thank you so much. :) :) :) I really appreciate the prayers, as this friendship requires great commitment between two people. He would be happy to marry me, if we meet and like each other. (This is unusual - people normally meet before they talk about marriage.) :P

I'm not even sure what to call him. My boyfriend? My gentleman friend? It's a bit hard when we've never dated.

[Light Hearted]

Janet: Nobody has ever set me up with someone! Internet dating will get you the responses, as you know, if you're prepared to put the effort in.

Tony: Thank you so much. :) :) :) I really appreciate the prayers, as this friendship requires great commitment between two people. He would be happy to marry me, if we meet and like each other. (This is unusual - people normally meet before they talk about marriage.) :P

I'm not even sure what to call him. My boyfriend? My gentleman friend? It's a bit hard when we've never dated.
Not only is it unusual but I'd say a bit of a red flag if he is already talking marriage. :eek: I'd be very cautious if I were you Sandy.

[sandie]

Hi Tammy. Waves. :)

I was more wary at the start, but I told R to slow down a number of times and get to know me as a person, which he has. I started seeing connections a couple of weeks ago. His wife died of cancer and left him with a three year old son. My husband left me when I had cancer, with a three year old son. (This is going to be an interesting conversation when we meet, as some of his strongest emotions and mine, go back to these life changing events.)

I need someone who is intelligent to keep me interested. R has an MA, a BA and a Diploma of Business and works in a field I know nothing about.

He does have a sense of humour, which he will definitely need if we get together. :P

R doesn't have the hangups divorced people can have, as his marriage was a happy one. I guess that is why he so keen.

He is looking for someone to support him emotionally, and it was lovely when he rang me from London yesterday because I had a stressful day with an Audit. He does seem to be very attentive and supportive.

His emails and MSN's show quite a romantic touch, which is lovely. :)

I am now feeling that we do need to meet and spend time together, just interacting all day. He wants to visit me soon. It will be strange to have a man I have not met staying with me. However, he assures me that he is a good cook, so I need to check out this out. :D I'd like to take him to church and get him to meet some of my friends and Michael, of course.

Am praying through this situation, witha list of qualities that I am looking for on my fridge. R is beginning to tick many of the boxes. (And I didn't even have 'cooks well' on the list. ) :P

[Light Hearted]

Hi Tammy. Waves. :)

I was more wary at the start, but I told R to slow down a number of times and get to know me as a person, which he has. I started seeing connections a couple of weeks ago. His wife died of cancer and left him with a three year old son. My husband left me when I had cancer, with a three year old son. (This is going to be an interesting conversation when we meet, as some of his strongest emotions and mine, go back to these life changing events.)

I need someone who is intelligent to keep me interested. R has an MA, a BA and a Diploma of Business and works in a field I know nothing about.

He does have a sense of humour, which he will definitely need if we get together. :P

R doesn't have the hangups divorced people can have, as his marriage was a happy one. I guess that is why he so keen.

He is looking for someone to support him emotionally, and it was lovely when he rang me from London yesterday because I had a stressful day with an Audit. He does seem to be very attentive and supportive.

His emails and MSN's show quite a romantic touch, which is lovely. :)

I am now feeling that we do need to meet and spend time together, just interacting all day. He wants to visit me soon. It will be strange to have a man I have not met staying with me. However, he assures me that he is a good cook, so I need to check out this out. :D I'd like to take him to church and get him to meet some of my friends and Michael, of course.

Am praying through this situation, witha list of qualities that I am looking for on my fridge. R is beginning to tick many of the boxes. (And I didn't even have 'cooks well' on the list. ) :P
Well, I hope it all works out for you. I got dumped by the guy I was dating when I told him to slow up so, oh well, he just wan't the right one.

[sandie]

Oh, that's sad, Tammy. I can't understand why he wouldn't give you time. No consideration for your feelings, so he obviously wasn't the right man for you.

I'm actually more concerned about the distance in this relationship. Someone would have to move!

[Aussie3rddayfan]

I'm actually more concerned about the distance in this relationship. Someone would have to move!

Put your foot down Sandie. Australia is a much more enjoyable place to live than England anyway!

Hope it works out for you!

[sandie]

Hi Col. :) Thank you. I had no idea I was such an object of desire. It feels great. :P

Yeah, Australia is the best country in the world. I've already told R that I get asthma and cold weather and I don't get on.

[Mr.Supervious]

Hi Col. :) Thank you. I had no idea I was such an object of desire. It feels great. :P

Yeah, Australia is the best country in the world. I've already told R that I get asthma and cold weather and I don't get on.

haha..well could i get a connecting flight with him to australia??? sorry had to ask lol australia would be so amazing!!! lol

[sandie]

Ha. Love the comment. Australia is beautiful, and we have such a relaxed culture.

I work in the heart of Sydney. Often I take my lunch down to Circular Quay, 10 minutes walk from my college and eat it beside Sydney Harbour. To the left is the Sydney Harbour Bridge, there is often a Passenger Liner tied up in front of me and the Sydney Opera House is to my right. :)

Has anyone else got a better lunch spot? P

Nah, he can move! :P

[sandie]

The man in question just rang up while walking to the bus in a long coat and made mention of snow!!! :eek:

What's that?

NB: Must tell him that I have lunch near the Sydney Opera House. :P

[Light Hearted]

Oh, that's sad, Tammy. I can't understand why he wouldn't give you time. No consideration for your feelings, so he obviously wasn't the right man for you.

I'm actually more concerned about the distance in this relationship. Someone would have to move!
Thanks Sandie but I'm really ok with it. I didn't have a strong attraction to him and there were other red flags so, it's all good.

[lilmikey]

My opinion is that you dont need to go looking on the internet for the one God has for you. Now that is nit to say that these sites are all bad or anything I am just stating an opinion

[mcgreen311]

My opinion is that you dont need to go looking on the internet for the one God has for you. Now that is nit to say that these sites are all bad or anything I am just stating an opinion

If it's not bad, then why are you saying you shouldn't go doing it? That doesn't make any sense. What if you met some nice girl on the thirdday message boards? Does that count too?

[lilmikey]

If it's not bad, then why are you saying you shouldn't go doing it? That doesn't make any sense. What if you met some nice girl on the thirdday message boards? Does that count too?

I never said you shouldn't I said you don't need it. If I wanted to say it was wrong I would have said so.

[mcgreen311]

I never said you shouldn't I said you don't need it. If I wanted to say it was wrong I would have said so.

Apologies for the misquote. By that argument, however, do we "need" to even date?

[lilmikey]

Apologies for the misquote. By that argument, however, do we "need" to even date?

well that really depends on one's definition.

[sandie]

Mikey, I'm 53. I've been single for 19 years now, and go to a church where there are many eligible ladies and very few single men of my age. That is the case in many churches in Australia. In that time, just one person has tried to match me with someone. Unfortunately, she wanted me to go out with the ex-husband of one of my best friends, although she didn't know that. I've never met my match at work, either.

I believe the Lord has said to look for someone, and so I am. I'm not going 'church hopping' to find a husband because God has placed me in the church I'm in for His purposes. If I want a job, I have to apply for the job. I'm moving towards marriage in the same way - applying for a husband, and praying for wisdom through the process.

Just my thoughts on the subject. :)

[Tony Trout]

What if you met some nice girl on the thirdday message boards? Does that count too?


*thinks before he responds*

I know that there have been a few boardies here (myself included in that list) that have met and began dating (and even gotten married) but...you still gotta use caution. This is the internet and people can be different in person than they are when they're online.

A relationship requires people actually being able to spend time with each other physically (face-to-face). Any other way of trying to make a relationship work...well, it won't work. If you do meet someone on the boards and talk about meeting, meet in a public place with people around.

I was talking/IM'ing with a friend of mine about this very thing recently and they said that they don't understand why people would try to portray themselves as something different online than when/if you see them in person - they (and myself) think that it's very wrong to deceive people that way.

I say "be yourself" and always use wisdom. With me, what you see is what you get. If a person can't accept me for what I am, it's their loss. If someone can't accept you for who you are as a person, you don't and didn't need them.

*thinks of the Brad Paisley song, "Online"*

*doubts that any of the preceeding made any sense at all*

[lilmikey]

*thinks before he responds*

I know that there have been a few boardies here (myself included in that list) that have met and began dating (and even gotten married) but...you still gotta use caution. This is the internet and people can be different in person than they are when they're online.

A relationship requires people actually being able to spend time with each other physically (face-to-face). Any other way of trying to make a relationship work...well, it won't work. If you do meet someone on the boards and talk about meeting, meet in a public place with people around.

I was talking/IM'ing with a friend of mine about this very thing recently and they said that they don't understand why people would try to portray themselves as something different online than when/if you see them in person - they (and myself) think that it's very wrong to deceive people that way.

I say "be yourself" and always use wisdom. With me, what you see is what you get. If a person can't accept me for what I am, it's their loss. If someone can't accept you for who you are as a person, you don't and didn't need them.

*thinks of the Brad Paisley song, "Online"*

*doubts that any of the preceeding made any sense at all*
I agree with this post

[Tony Trout]

I agree with this post


Thanks. I was hoping that some of it made sense. Some of what I wrote about I learned the hard way.

[mcgreen311]

*thinks before he responds*

I know that there have been a few boardies here (myself included in that list) that have met and began dating (and even gotten married) but...you still gotta use caution. This is the internet and people can be different in person than they are when they're online.

A relationship requires people actually being able to spend time with each other physically (face-to-face). Any other way of trying to make a relationship work...well, it won't work. If you do meet someone on the boards and talk about meeting, meet in a public place with people around.


Oh definitely, but most people have their "game faces" on even if you first meet them in "real life." I just took issue with the idea that we didn't "need" to date online. There are lot of things we don't "need" to do: watch TV, paint your fingernails, trim your nose hairs, etc. Saying you don't need to do something comes across as judgmental. I say this as someone who has dated people I met online.

And, if you can, I would totally advocate background checks, but then again I'm a woman, so typically I have to be more careful. :)

[kiwisongbird]

In the olden days, missionary men and women would met at the annual mission retreat, then correspond by snail mail for the next year, then met again for a week or two the next year then maybe get engaged, then correspond for another year, marry at the next retreat then the woman would leave her field and go work with the husband... worked ok then... I think internet would have more communication than that... but I do know of one lady who met a guy and got married, he went from Canada to her mission field in Asia and mucked it all up for her... he was a nutter!!!!

[sandie]

This relationship is a bit like that. Dating will be short and intense because of the distance.

Big news today... drum roll...... my male friend is coming to visit me (with his son) at the end of this month, if it all works out. He needs to confirm dates and I need to get time off work. This is scary stuff. I feel like I am about to be swept into a whirlwind and shaken up. Then he's off to Africa, then probably back here and if all is working well I'll go back with them to London for a few days. :)

All this by 8:30am today!

[ZippyApplePants]

This relationship is a bit like that. Dating will be short and intense because of the distance.

Big news today... drum roll...... my male friend is coming to visit me (with his son) at the end of this month, if it all works out. He needs to confirm dates and I need to get time off work. This is scary stuff. I feel like I am about to be swept into a whirlwind and shaken up. Then he's off to Africa, then probably back here and if all is working well I'll go back with them to London for a few days. :)

All this by 8:30am today!

Wow, go sandie! :D

[Tony Trout]

This relationship is a bit like that. Dating will be short and intense because of the distance.

Big news today... drum roll...... my male friend is coming to visit me (with his son) at the end of this month, if it all works out. He needs to confirm dates and I need to get time off work. This is scary stuff. I feel like I am about to be swept into a whirlwind and shaken up. Then he's off to Africa, then probably back here and if all is working well I'll go back with them to London for a few days. :)

All this by 8:30am today!

Wow, go sandie! :D


I agree with Wendy: YOU GO, SANDIE!!! Praying for you, my dear friend/sister-in-Christ!

[sandie]

Thank you for your wishes and prayers, Wendy and Tony. I very much value them.

Perhaps I should add that we discussed where we should live if we marry. I told him that my asthma doesn't like cold weather and that I probably couldn't live in such a cold place as I love sunshine, but don't want him to resent me if he has to move. He has offered to move himself and his son to Australia - just like that! I am overwhelmed by this offer.

[ZippyApplePants]

Thank you for your wishes and prayers, Wendy and Tony. I very much value them.

Perhaps I should add that we discussed where we should live if we marry. I told him that my asthma doesn't like cold weather and that I probably couldn't live in such a cold place as I love sunshine, but don't want him to resent me if he has to move. He has offered to move himself and his son to Australia - just like that! I am overwhelmed by this offer.

Wow, sounds very serious sandie! If it works out I hope his son won't have too much trouble adjusting. A marriage and a move can be a lot for a kid to handle. :)

[sandie]

Thank you, Wendy. It is serious.

His son is a well travelled young man. When his father works overseas for a few weeks, he enrolls his son in a local school, then they return to London. He also like Brisbane when they were there last September and wanted to buy a house there. Pity I'm in Sydney. :P

[ZippyApplePants]

Thank you, Wendy. It is serious.

His son is a well travelled young man. When his father works overseas for a few weeks, he enrolls his son in a local school, then they return to London. He also like Brisbane when they were there last September and wanted to buy a house there. Pity I'm in Sydney. :P

That's good to know sandie. I think he will like Sydney. From what I've seen of it it looks like a lovely place to live. :)

[sandie]

Thank you for the interest, Wendy. :)

It has its problems, like any city, but Sydney Harbour is magnificent. I travel an hour to work, as many locals do, because of my church and friends here, so it'd be great if we could stay in Sydney. My church has a vibrant kids - teens program, too. Most jobs in his field are in Brisbane / Queenland or Perth / Western Australia, so we'll have to see what the Lord has for him.

[ZippyApplePants]

Thank you for the interest, Wendy. :)

It has its problems, like any city, but Sydney Harbour is magnificent. I travel an hour to work, as many locals do, because of my church and friends here, so it'd be great if we could stay in Sydney. My church has a vibrant kids - teens program, too. Most jobs in his field are in Brisbane / Queenland or Perth / Western Australia, so we'll have to see what the Lord has for him.

You're welcome, what are friends for? :) God can do anything as you well know.

[sandie]

I believe He has already, Wendy. :)

Riley was working in Brisbane for just a few weeks. I put my profile onto a Christian site one day and he was my first response, the next day. If I'd held off for another couple of months, it would have been too late.

[ZippyApplePants]

I believe He has already, Wendy. :)

Riley was working in Brisbane for just a few weeks. I put my profile onto a Christian site one day and he was my first response, the next day. If I'd held off for another couple of months, it would have been too late.

That is a definite God thing. :)

[SueQ]

Haven't been on here for a while...wow, a lot has happened for you ! My nephew just got married to a girl he met on the internet...a bit of long distance dating for the past 3 years (he's been to Iraq twice during that time)...but it's a good match and worth it for both...Prayers for you and Riley...may God make His will known to you both!:)

[sandie]

Hi Sue. Good to see you on here.

How lovely for your nephew.:) Internet dating can cut to the main issues quickly, as time is limited.

Riley and his son arrive next week (tickets will be booked today so I'll know the day) and they'll be here until the second week of May. Then Riley flies to Africa for five or six weeks for work, and I will look after his son. He will then return to Sydney and I may go back to London with them. Thank you for your good wishes, Sue.

I'd appreciate your prayers as we have to get to know each other much more and talk about many issues in a couple of weeks. Riley also needs to see the life he would be coming to if we settle in Sydney. I also need to form a relationship with his son.

[Aussie3rddayfan]

Hi Sue. Good to see you on here.

How lovely for your nephew.:) Internet dating can cut to the main issues quickly, as time is limited.

Riley and his son arrive next week (tickets will be booked today so I'll know the day) and they'll be here until the second week of May. Then Riley flies to Africa for five or six weeks for work, and I will look after his son. He will then return to Sydney and I may go back to London with them. Thank you for your good wishes, Sue.

I'd appreciate your prayers as we have to get to know each other much more and talk about many issues in a couple of weeks. Riley also needs to see the life he would be coming to if we settle in Sydney. I also need to form a relationship with his son.

Wow! This sounds promising Sandie. Let's pray that God's will be done. Hopefully you will both find what you seek.

[sandie]

Hi Col.... waves. Of all the people on here, you and Jaci know me the most in person.

Thank you for the wishes. It's also Riley's son I feel for. He's been largely cared for by nannies and maids since his mum died when he was three. Riley is looking for support with his son.

[3D NC fan]

Hope all goes well for the initial meeting and visit, Sandra. Will Riley's son be in school while he stays with you?

[sandie]

Thanks, Elaine. :)

Because I work long days in the City, I will have a nanny before school and after school, and he will go to the local school.This has to be a better option than an 11 year old staying in a hotel room with a maid for five to six weeks!

[Aussie3rddayfan]

Hi Col.... waves. Of all the people on here, you and Jaci know me the most in person.

Thank you for the wishes. It's also Riley's son I feel for. He's been largely cared for by nannies and maids since his mum died when he was three. Riley is looking for support with his son.

That would be a terrible thing to have to grow up with. I know there's alot of talk these days about kids growing up without dad's and needing good male role models, but every kid just needs their mum too. I really feel for kids who don't have that comfort and support.

[sandie]

Yes, that's how I feel, too. If it works out with Riley, I want to spend a lot of time with his son before he reaches his teenage years and becomes more independent.

[3D NC fan]

Yes, that's how I feel, too. If it works out with Riley, I want to spend a lot of time with his son before he reaches his teenage years and becomes more independent.

I hope it works out for you, Sandra. Any word yet on when you will actually meet?

[sandie]

Yes. Next Wednesday. :)

It will be strange to meet someone I know, but I haven't met before. A "Love Actually" moment at the airport.

[Musicdude]

I just read this entire thread just now.

I know how you feel (sort of) Sandie. I am very happy for you, and I am praying that it all works our according to God's will, and your happiness.

I met my wife on Match.com about two and a half years ago.
I think internet dating is no better or worse a way to meet people than in real life situations. In many ways it's better, and safer.
And as far as people being dishonest about themselves. I heard that all the time, but if you think about it, people are dishonest in real life too. If you meet somebody in a bar and they say they are a doctor and they are really a trash-man. Or they say their wife died 4 years ago, when really she is just out of town. People are people, whether face to face or not. And unfortunately some people lie. You just have to be careful and prayerful.

My wife and I lived kinda far apart too, so the dating thing was intense and fast. We were engaged 2 months after the first date. It is still wonderful! And now we have a little 4 month old girl, and that is wonderful too!

So in short, love is love, and love is wonderful. It doesn't matter how you meet someone. It just matters that you meet someone.

[SueQ]

I just read this entire thread just now.

I know how you feel (sort of) Sandie. I am very happy for you, and I am praying that it all works our according to God's will, and your happiness.

I met my wife on Match.com about two and a half years ago.
I think internet dating is no better or worse a way to meet people than in real life situations. In many ways it's better, and safer.
And as far as people being dishonest about themselves. I heard that all the time, but if you think about it, people are dishonest in real life too. If you meet somebody in a bar and they say they are a doctor and they are really a trash-man. Or they say their wife died 4 years ago, when really she is just out of town. People are people, whether face to face or not. And unfortunately some people lie. You just have to be careful and prayerful.

My wife and I lived kinda far apart too, so the dating thing was intense and fast. We were engaged 2 months after the first date. It is still wonderful! And now we have a little 4 month old girl, and that is wonderful too!

So in short, love is love, and love is wonderful. It doesn't matter how you meet someone. It just matters that you meet someone.

Hey there Musicdude! Wondered how you guys were doing....good to hear from you... Congrats on the little one!
:D

OK...back to our original thread....

[Musicdude]

Hey there Musicdude! Wondered how you guys were doing....good to hear from you... Congrats on the little one!
:D

OK...back to our original thread....

Thanks!

Yeah, I can't wait to hear the next chapter..... :)

[sandie]

Musicdude: It's great to see you on here. I am so pleased that you have a bub now. Children are one of God's greatest gifts. :)

Thank you for the wishes, too. Yes, internet dating cuts to the chase, as time is precious. I have a strong sense that I can trust Riley, and he trusts me.

The next part of the story will take more time, unexpectedly. :( I had organised to hand over most of my duties, and run quickly for two days at work, when Riley emailed me at work, distressed. He needs to go to Ghana this week for a work contract, three weeks early. :eek: After talking the last day and a half, he will take his son with him for three weeks, then come to Sydney for a month. Flights still to be booked. We are both disapponted, as I was going to meet them on Friday morning, and take them to Canberra to meet my son next Wednesday. Now we'll have to be patient.