Spank

[middletree]

One one news site this morning, the following headlines appeared one after
the other:


Massachusetts lawmakers to consider spanking ban


followed by....


Phoenix Teen Arrested For Aiming Laser At Police Helicopter...


I'm just sayin...

[Salome]

Exactly!!

[rossid]

After that helicopter crash in PHX this year don't mess with air travel out there.

[middletree]

After that helicopter crash in PHX this year don't mess with air travel out there.

That's really beside the point that I was making.

[3D NC fan]

Teen with a laser was the point? I'm just saying.........:D

[Jesuslove]

That's really beside the point that I was making.

I'm not a big advocate of spanking. I find that "time outs" work much more effectively.

On a sidenote... during my adoption process, I had to sign an affadavid proclaiming that I would not spank my child.

[Sam!]

I think that SOMETIMES, CERTAIN kids need to be OCCASIONALLY spanked for SPECIFIC ACTS, but only in a particular manner. A parent who is visibly angry should never, ever strike their child (or anybody's kid for that matter).

[Salome]

I found spanking to work remarkably well when reasoning with couldn't or wouldn't be achieved.

[WeaselInYerFoot]

I think that SOMETIMES, CERTAIN kids need to be OCCASIONALLY spanked for SPECIFIC ACTS, but only in a particular manner. A parent who is visibly angry should never, ever strike their child (or anybody's kid for that matter).

I agree. For my older brother for example, it was more effective to use grounding and removal or prohibition of certain activities, than it was to use spankings. In fact, most of the time he'd BEG for a spanking because he'd rather get it over with and move on 5 minutes later than to not be able to do what he enjoyed for a whole week!

I on the other hand, was able to entertain myself with anything, so getting TV removed from my life, or not playing with certain toys or not going to my friends' house wasn't a big deal because I could pick up some other interesting thing to do. Spankings were more effective for me.

[EmmoGomer]

I do see the irony here - it's madness!!

As an aside. My son responds SO much better to a bit of 'time-out' than a whoopin'!
We also have charts for behaviour. If he achieves all his goals then he watches TV. If not, well, he doesn't!!

[mat1583]

I think a combination could work quite well. Immediate consequences with spanking, lingering effects with grounding the child.

-washboard

[cheewiee]

Growing up, I was only spanked for outright rebellion.

And even then it was very intentional, as my Dad would have me meet him in the back bedroom in like a half an hour or so... It gave me time to think about what I did, and what I was about to be punished for.. it gave him a break to cool down...

[BethelTraumaRN]

Ha! That's funny.....brilliant headlines :)

I'm spanking my children whether the law likes it or not. My Dad spanked all three of us (I have two brothers at home) and we turned out very well behaved. My Dad taught us the proper fear of him (both of being actually afraid of him, but also loving and respecting him...like the fear of the Lord) and it stuck!
I've seen what permissive parenting and grounding and everything else does to kids, and I don't like it....My kids are being spanked. Period.

[EmmoGomer]

I think until you have your own children, it is hard to say what you will do in the smacking department. Different children respond to different discipline - as weaselinyerfoot said earlier in this thread.

[Jesuslove]

I agree. Until someone has their own children, they don't know what they would do.

I think until you have your own children, it is hard to say what you will do in the smacking department. Different children respond to different discipline - as weaselinyerfoot said earlier in this thread.

[Sam!]

I, for example, was spanked one time and one time only as a child. I ran out after a ball into the street without stopping, looking or listening when I was young - probably 4 or 5 years old. I knew better, I just didn't follow the rule.

I never broke that one again, either.

[middletree]

That's the kind of situation I believe in spanking for--something where you want to have an immediate impact, to associate the punishment with the offense as soon as possible.

BTW, I was spanked as a kid, but I distinctly remember the one and only time my grandfather did it. He caught me smoking (at age 5!) with some older cousins. I never touched tobacco again, and I am forever thankful. I don't think a time-out or anything else would have had the same impact.

[middletree]

I'm spanking my children whether the law likes it or not.

I say this in all seriousness: I hope you're a better parent that than young lady in your avatar.

By the way, Stephen King comments on Brit in Time Magazine:
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1687229,00.html

He refers to her as "trailer trash."

[Godgrl Gomer]

Elijah responds to Time Outs a lot better than a spanking, because all he comprehends is, Mamma is hurting me.
HOWEVER!
There has been maybe....3 times in his 6 years that he has had a whoopin' on his butt and he sure did not become a repeat offender.

Is a tap on the hand a spankin'? Serious here!

Caleb is just getting into EVERYTHING! Well he is 20 months old;) After being removed and told NO....on the 3rd go, he gets a tapped hand. Sometimes ....well...a lot of the time he responds as if I have beaten him black and blue and cries and cries and cries. But he is my little Diva;) I can see through his tears now....and I have observed that he peeks with one eye to see if I am watching. If I am, he raises the bar on his crying. If I am not, ...or he thinks I am not watching...he stops and goes and plays. LOL.

My experience is that when I have had to spank my child, it is me who hurts the most from the situation. But sometimes there is no other way.

No one...and I mean no one...knows how they will deal with their children until they come along. Every child is different....but time outs do work wonders. OR! Sometimes BumbleBee goes into Time Out if Elijah is not responding appropriately. Elijah really doesn't like it when Bumble Bee goes into Time Out....lol;)


Regardless of the type of punishment that is given, it is important that the parent talks to the child and find out if the child knows WHY they were spanked or put in Time Out. Sometimes the child - from my experience and observations- they just think that Mummy and Daddy are being meanies and have no clue as to what they have done wrong. And then there are those who know all to well.....:rolleyes: ;)

[Mr.Elwood]

I have simply beaten my children into submission... It's much faster and takes less time than that silly reactionary thing to daily events and teaching them right from wrong...:rolleyes:


:P ;) :P ;)

So, who now has to clean their screens from the foaming spittle you were just about to spew at me??

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!!!

[TN3Dmom]

Maybe I'm just lucky to have well-behaved boys (mostly), but I don't recall them needing spankings past age 3 or so. Before then I did it when imminent danger was involved. Otherwise, it was time-outs or take-aways. That seemed to work for us. I'm not going to say spankings are wrong in every case. I think it's definitely better to not spank when angry, though. I have a friend who always says to one of her other kids, "Go get the wooden spoon", and the offending child usually snaps to it. I've never used a spoon, nor seen her use it, but that sounds painful. Maybe just the thought of it works on her kids.

[Macsbiggestfan]

I have been spanked 3 times when I was little and my parents think it's better to go the old fashion way by spanking. but now i am too old to get spanked so they either ground me from Third Day (<which kills me!!! LOL) or they graound me from the computer.
My little brother who loves to annoy people has gotten countless spankings and they were not hard just a small slap but then he listens. My parents say they do it out of love to teach us a lesson so we won't do wrong things. so yeah thats just how we do it!!! My parents really ROCK but they're just a little old fashioned, thats all.:)

[SacredHeart]

I have simply beaten my children into submission... It's much faster and takes less time than that silly reactionary thing to daily events and teaching them right from wrong...:rolleyes:


:P ;) :P ;)

So, who now has to clean their screens from the foaming spittle you were just about to spew at me??

BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAA!!!!
Cripes. That was worth having to pull out the Windex. Dork. :-p

[Jason]

One one news site this morning, the following headlines appeared one after
the other:


Massachusetts lawmakers to consider spanking ban


followed by....


Phoenix Teen Arrested For Aiming Laser At Police Helicopter...


I'm just sayin...

Those Phoenicians! ;)


My step-father was a spanker. When I was like nine, I had just been served dinner with my two-year-old brother David. I didn't like peas, so when my parents weren't looking, I scooped all my peas onto my brother's plate. My mom turned around and saw David's plate full of peas and mine devoid of them.

Mom: Jason, did you put your peas on your brother's plate?
Me: No.
Mom: If you tell the truth, you won't be punished. Did you put your peas on your brother's plate?
Me: No.

Whereupon, my step-dad took me to David's and my bedroom and used his belt on my backside seven times.

A couple years later, my brother Greg was about a year old and he did something wrong. My step-dad (Greg's dad) used the belt on him. My mom threw a fit, saying Greg was way too young for the belt. So my step-dad said, "Fine, I won't use it at all!" And he didn't. From that day forward, physical discipline was never used again.

If we got in trouble after that, we usually had to stand in the corner for a while.

[Buttabean]

I'm a large proponent of spanking, if done properly. Spanking was used quite wisely in my house growing up. We were never spanked in the heat of the moment. Mom or Dad would tell us that we did something that was wrong and that we would talk about it later. Then they would calm down, and we'd discuss the misbehavior. That way we understood why we were getting punished and it wasn't done out of anger. But we weren't spanked with anything but hands.

[WeaselInYerFoot]

By the way, (and correct me if I'm wrong) but I was under the impression that this Massachusetts law wasn't banning all spanking, but you were allowed to spank when it involved life threatening situations (like Sam!'s situation where he chased after a ball into the street).

[clemsontigers23]

Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Spanking is a necessity in certain situations and it's about time we bring corporal punishment back into the mix. Time-outs can be effective for certain types of children, but for most children do you really think giving your kid a time-out so he can "think about what he did" is really going to work? I remember whenever I got a time-out I found other ways to occupy my time.

It's just like when you hit a dog on the nose with a newspaper in order to potty train them. Sometimes physical discipline is needed, and we'd be a lot better off if parents weren't so slow to discipline their kids.

As far as the law, it is an obvious infringement on parents' rights to raise their kids the way they want to raise them. There is a huge difference between child abuse and spanking, and saying a parent can't spank their kids in the privacy of their homes is simply criminal and another way Massachusetts is going against the Will of God. Massachusetts legislation is backwards, and hopefully no one will follow their example in anything they do.

[Jesuslove]

As far as the law, it is an obvious infringement on parents' rights to raise their kids the way they want to raise them. There is a huge difference between child abuse and spanking, and saying a parent can't spank their kids in the privacy of their homes is simply criminal and another way Massachusetts is going against the Will of God. Massachusetts legislation is backwards, and hopefully no one will follow their example in anything they do.

I have mixed feelings. Spanking isn't always necessary and where do you draw the line between spanking and abuse. Nineteen countries (mostly European) have banned spanking.

[maui sista]

I found spanking to work remarkably well when reasoning with couldn't or wouldn't be achieved.

AMEN!

I am all for spanking and here is the reason why....THE BIBLE SAYS SO!!!

I was raised in a huge family and am so thankful that my dad beat my butt off when I needed it.
I have seen time and time again the out come of kids that don't get spanked and kids that get spanked and its amazing how the ones that dont get spanked turned out....YIKES!

I am not saying that all children need to be spanked, some kids just don't need to be spanked.

For example...I have a cousin that was a brat and never got spanked(just put in time out) and she turned out to be a drug using girl that has two kids of her own from different dads and is a very sad person......i totally believe that if her mom and dad would have used the belt her life would be very different and she has said that to me too.

This is the way I see it....God gave us the ability to have children and He gave us a few "tips"on how to raise them (spare the rod, spoil the child) and it is up to us as followers of Christ to obey Him.
Children need to be taught...how are they supposed to know right from wrong if we don't teach them.
I don't know about how any of you were raised but the reason why I was never into drugs or having sex at 15 or have never been to jail is because I was SCARED to death of the belt swinging at my bare butt at 90 miles an hour from my dad.and let me tell you IT HURT! I did not get spanked alot but when I did i deserved it and believe me I never did it again! and that the point of spanking is it teaches you respect and makes you think before you act or speak.
I don't care if it is against the law or not, it's Gods law and thats the one I am gonna follow.

sonja

[middletree]

I have mixed feelings. Spanking isn't always necessary and where do you draw the line between spanking and abuse. Nineteen countries (mostly European) have banned spanking.

I agree with your first part. It is hard to draw the line. But banning it across the board isn't the right thing to do. It pretends the line doesn't exist.

And as for the last part, of course the fact that several nations have banned it doesn't mean anything persuasive. European cultures have a lot of notions which fly in the face of my morality.

[maui sista]

I have mixed feelings. Spanking isn't always necessary and where do you draw the line between spanking and abuse. Nineteen countries (mostly European) have banned spanking.

Most countries ban praying and reading the Bible but that won't ever stop me

[SonflowerGurl]

Usually a child can be displined without spanking but depending on the child and situation I think it should be an option for parents.

Making a clear distiction between spanking and abuse, banning spankng is an clear intrustion on the parental role.

[maui sista]

fact, most of the time he'd BEG for a spanking because he'd rather get it over with and move on 5 minutes later than to not be able to do what he enjoyed for a whole week!

He was not getting spanked hard enough....I was not doing anything 5 minutes later but crying and rubbing my tushy...I would rather get my tv taken away for the rest of my life and all my toys then get the belt from dad..

[middletree]

So what's more cruel: spanking your kid or buying him this?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HB2JHY/sr=8-28/qid=1196298686/ref=dp_also-recommended_1?ie=UTF8&n=1036592&s=apparel&qid=1196298686&sr=8-28

[Jason]

So what's more cruel: spanking your kid or buying him this?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HB2JHY/sr=8-28/qid=1196298686/ref=dp_also-recommended_1?ie=UTF8&n=1036592&s=apparel&qid=1196298686&sr=8-28


Or this:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000HB2EKG/sr=8-28/qid=1196298686/ref=dp_also-recommended_1?ie=UTF8&n=1036592&s=apparel&qid=1196298686&sr=8-28

:eek:

[Pouye]

There is something to the element of respect that is lost when there are never physically painful consequences (in my opinion).

For one, I agree with maui sista in that having some fear/respect is not a bad thing. When tempted to act on a poor decision, having some fear of the consequences can (and often does) deter children from making that decision. When my friends came to visit and play at my house in my childhood days, they learned very quickly not to behave in certain ways because my mother and father simply did not tolerate certain behavior.

How did they "not allow" those behaviors, you ask? (Glad you asked!)

For instance, if we "back talked" or communicated in a disrespectful or threatening way to my parents, we got a fair warning. The next violation resulted in a good and immediate slap in the face. Period. It hurt, too. At my house, swear words, derogatory language, threatening or derogatory gestures -- pretty much anything that showed disrespect to my parents was absolutely not tolerated. If the slap didn't work (and it was a rare case that it didn't), the next thing was a belt across your thighs about for or five times. It didn't matter if you were a neighbor or visiting or what. Those were the rules at my house.

Now, some of you think that we lived under Hitler-like parents, then. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our home and backyard was the place to be in our neighborhood. Our home was a kid-magnet, and my folks were very well loved and respected by all of the neighbor kids. The neighbor kids knew our boundaries -- what they could and could not "get away with" and they felt safe within those boundaries. They had legitimate fears about breaking the rules, and so this pretty much removed the temptation to do so.

I distinctly remember visiting the home of a new friend from school. I was shocked at the way he treated his mother -- calling her names and even "flipping her off" with his middle finger. He ignored her, and showed her total disrespect. I warned this new friend that if he ever visited my house that he better not treat my mother the same way. He laughed and asked, "She can't do anything about it!" to which I replied, "Do you wanna bet!?"

Later on, my friend finally came over. He decided to test the boundaries and said a few swear words while playing outside (I heard him myself). Of course, all of us knew that language like that was against the rules, and two of my siblings reported the incident to my mom. As was customary, my mom called "Shane" into the house. At first, he refused to come inside, and laughed the call off. Then, my mother called louder, and said, "Shane, you better get in here or my husband is going to come out there and bring you in -- and you don't want that to happen!"

He went into the house with a worried look on his face, and I decided to accompany him (mostly for morale). First off, my mother asked him if he truly used the derogatory language. He denied it at first, but there were two witnesses (myself and my sister). After admitting it, my mother told him the rule that there was not to be that sort of language on our property -- ever. She encouraged him to use respectful and kind words while playing here and told him that if he didn't use "bad words" any more that all would be forgiven and he was welcome to come and play any time. Then "Shane" committed the act I was hoping he wouldn't. His anger arose, and out of habit (as he did with his own mother) he mumbled the phrase, "alright...... %itch."

Calling her a female dog was a big mistake. Shane was about 12 years old at the time, and stood as tall as my mother, but my mom's hand shot out and slapped him across the face, leaving a very surprised Shane with a welt the shape of her hand on his face. My mother immediately warned that she did not tolerate that kind of language or disrespect, and if it continued, she warned "Shane" that he would get a whipping by her husband with a belt. She also demanded an apology!

Shane didn't want any part of a whipping from my dad, who was 6feet 7inches tall and weighed 245 pounds. Instead, he did something that he remembers doing to this day -- he apologized, and told her that he would never use that sort of language around her house again. She accepted his apology, and she handed him and I a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies she had been baking.

"Shane" never swore or acted disrespectful at our house again. In fact, he came to love my folks like his own -- so much so that he even lived with us for a while. He had only the utmost highest respect for my parents, and he even spoke to me many years later about the reasons for disrespecting his own mother so much.

You want to hear the reason, you say? (I'm glad you asked!)
He didn't respect her because she tried to be a nice mom who catered to his every need. She didn't believe in spanking, although she did ground him on occasion. She didn't set clear boundaries, and "Shane" interpreted this to mean that she didn't love him enough or care about him enough to do so.

Guess what. I, myself, have the highest respect for my parents. They weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they loved us dearly. When I look into my mom's eyes, I see someone who is worthy of honor and respect. She raised 7 kids -- some of us were more challenging than others -- yet all seven of us love her and honor her for loving us enough to set boundaries and teach us what it means to respect others. The fear that we had was a healthy fear that taught us that our parents loved us enough to not simply let us go our own way and treat people in ways that are dishonoring and disrespectful.

Another thing I need to mention. My parents were not "strict" in the normal sense of the word. They actually let us do all sorts of things that other kids weren't allowed to do. We were free to ride horses to school, free to build all manner of contraptions in the backyard, free to invite friends (sometimes for days or weeks!), free to play in almost an infinite number of ways -- as long as we followed a few simple and constructive rules.

Fear is a good thing. If a child does not fear the consequences of doing something that can either immediately or later harm them, then the consequences are ineffective, and your child might grow up to be an adult who later wishes that his/her parents loved them enough to make sure they didn't do those things.

Rock

[maui sista]

There is something to the element of respect that is lost when there are never physically painful consequences (in my opinion).

For one, I agree with maui sista in that having some fear/respect is not a bad thing. When tempted to act on a poor decision, having some fear of the consequences can (and often does) deter children from making that decision. When my friends came to visit and play at my house in my childhood days, they learned very quickly not to behave in certain ways because my mother and father simply did not tolerate certain behavior.

How did they "not allow" those behaviors, you ask? (Glad you asked!)

For instance, if we "back talked" or communicated in a disrespectful or threatening way to my parents, we got a fair warning. The next violation resulted in a good and immediate slap in the face. Period. It hurt, too. At my house, swear words, derogatory language, threatening or derogatory gestures -- pretty much anything that showed disrespect to my parents was absolutely not tolerated. If the slap didn't work (and it was a rare case that it didn't), the next thing was a belt across your thighs about for or five times. It didn't matter if you were a neighbor or visiting or what. Those were the rules at my house.

Now, some of you think that we lived under Hitler-like parents, then. Nothing could be further from the truth. Our home and backyard was the place to be in our neighborhood. Our home was a kid-magnet, and my folks were very well loved and respected by all of the neighbor kids. The neighbor kids knew our boundaries -- what they could and could not "get away with" and they felt safe within those boundaries. They had legitimate fears about breaking the rules, and so this pretty much removed the temptation to do so.

I distinctly remember visiting the home of a new friend from school. I was shocked at the way he treated his mother -- calling her names and even "flipping her off" with his middle finger. He ignored her, and showed her total disrespect. I warned this new friend that if he ever visited my house that he better not treat my mother the same way. He laughed and asked, "She can't do anything about it!" to which I replied, "Do you wanna bet!?"

Later on, my friend finally came over. He decided to test the boundaries and said a few swear words while playing outside (I heard him myself). Of course, all of us knew that language like that was against the rules, and two of my siblings reported the incident to my mom. As was customary, my mom called "Shane" into the house. At first, he refused to come inside, and laughed the call off. Then, my mother called louder, and said, "Shane, you better get in here or my husband is going to come out there and bring you in -- and you don't want that to happen!"

He went into the house with a worried look on his face, and I decided to accompany him (mostly for morale). First off, my mother asked him if he truly used the derogatory language. He denied it at first, but there were two witnesses (myself and my sister). After admitting it, my mother told him the rule that there was not to be that sort of language on our property -- ever. She encouraged him to use respectful and kind words while playing here and told him that if he didn't use "bad words" any more that all would be forgiven and he was welcome to come and play any time. Then "Shane" committed the act I was hoping he wouldn't. His anger arose, and out of habit (as he did with his own mother) he mumbled the phrase, "alright...... %itch."

Calling her a female dog was a big mistake. Shane was about 12 years old at the time, and stood as tall as my mother, but my mom's hand shot out and slapped him across the face, leaving a very surprised Shane with a welt the shape of her hand on his face. My mother immediately warned that she did not tolerate that kind of language or disrespect, and if it continued, she warned "Shane" that he would get a whipping by her husband with a belt. She also demanded an apology!

Shane didn't want any part of a whipping from my dad, who was 6feet 7inches tall and weighed 245 pounds. Instead, he did something that he remembers doing to this day -- he apologized, and told her that he would never use that sort of language around her house again. She accepted his apology, and she handed him and I a plate of fresh chocolate chip cookies she had been baking.

"Shane" never swore or acted disrespectful at our house again. In fact, he came to love my folks like his own -- so much so that he even lived with us for a while. He had only the utmost highest respect for my parents, and he even spoke to me many years later about the reasons for disrespecting his own mother so much.

You want to hear the reason, you say? (I'm glad you asked!)
He didn't respect her because she tried to be a nice mom who catered to his every need. She didn't believe in spanking, although she did ground him on occasion. She didn't set clear boundaries, and "Shane" interpreted this to mean that she didn't love him enough or care about him enough to do so.

Guess what. I, myself, have the highest respect for my parents. They weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but they loved us dearly. When I look into my mom's eyes, I see someone who is worthy of honor and respect. She raised 7 kids -- some of us were more challenging than others -- yet all seven of us love her and honor her for loving us enough to set boundaries and teach us what it means to respect others. The fear that we had was a healthy fear that taught us that our parents loved us enough to not simply let us go our own way and treat people in ways that are dishonoring and disrespectful.

Another thing I need to mention. My parents were not "strict" in the normal sense of the word. They actually let us do all sorts of things that other kids weren't allowed to do. We were free to ride horses to school, free to build all manner of contraptions in the backyard, free to invite friends (sometimes for days or weeks!), free to play in almost an infinite number of ways -- as long as we followed a few simple and constructive rules.

Fear is a good thing. If a child does not fear the consequences of doing something that can either immediately or later harm them, then the consequences are ineffective, and your child might grow up to be an adult who later wishes that his/her parents loved them enough to make sure they didn't do those things.

Rock


Are we related? :D Love ya bro

[ausgirl]

While I certainly don't advocate belting the life out of your child, I do not think a sharp slap across the backside or leg when time out is not suitable, does no harm.

I am not a parent yet so can't really say for sure, but I believe I will use smacking at times with my children. My parents were smackers, but I do not recall any abuse, I didn't get smacked that much - I learned the rules pretty quickly. Mum tells of the time I ran across the road, she more out of fear grabbed me and smacked me - then felt sorry for it, however it was for my safety. A toddler does not have the ability to distinguish safe and non safe situations, sometimes a quick smack will help them to learn.

[Pouye]

While I certainly don't advocate belting the life out of your child, I do not think a sharp slap across the backside or leg when time out is not suitable, does no harm.

I am not a parent yet so can't really say for sure, but I believe I will use smacking at times with my children. My parents were smackers, but I do not recall any abuse, I didn't get smacked that much - I learned the rules pretty quickly. Mum tells of the time I ran across the road, she more out of fear grabbed me and smacked me - then felt sorry for it, however it was for my safety. A toddler does not have the ability to distinguish safe and non safe situations, sometimes a quick smack will help them to learn.

Well said!

I do not advocate abuse. I was not abusively spanked, nor do I abusively spank my own children. My two daughters are good kids (8 and 5). They respect people in general (their peers and those older or in authority). They do not throw tantrums, whine, or cause scenes in public places. They are generally a delight to be around, and we can take them anywhere and feel comfortable with them around others in a variety of situations. They do not demand things or attention. They know the word "no", and they will not cry or beg if the word "no" is used.

My five year old once noticed a boy her age whining and treating his mom with disrespect. She said to me, "Daddy, can you go tell that mommy to please spank him?"

I had to laugh, cause I was thinking it myself!

Rock

[Pouye]

Are we related? :D Love ya bro

Ya think? :o

You be nice, or I'm tellin' mom!

Luvyatoo,

Rock

[BethelTraumaRN]

I say this in all seriousness: I hope you're a better parent that than young lady in your avatar.

By the way, Stephen King comments on Brit in Time Magazine:
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1687229,00.html

He refers to her as "trailer trash."

I won't even go there....

Look, this is me showing restraint...See? Are you watching? Are you remembering? Good! Cos this is the only time you'll see it.

WAY to post that verse, whoever did!!! (Sorry, I forgot to check before starting my reply)

[WeaselInYerFoot]

He was not getting spanked hard enough....I was not doing anything 5 minutes later but crying and rubbing my tushy...I would rather get my tv taken away for the rest of my life and all my toys then get the belt from dad..

Occasional bruise marks on a rear end isn't hard enough??...

I'll let my father know that he should have put nails in the paddle then.

[markie mark]

Ha! That's funny.....brilliant headlines :)

I'm spanking my children whether the law likes it or not. My Dad spanked all three of us (I have two brothers at home) and we turned out very well behaved. My Dad taught us the proper fear of him (both of being actually afraid of him, but also loving and respecting him...like the fear of the Lord) and it stuck!
I've seen what permissive parenting and grounding and everything else does to kids, and I don't like it....My kids are being spanked. Period.

Spanking is lazy parenting. Should I smack my employees when they don't do what I want them to?

You sound like you want to get revenge on your kids because your dad spanked you.

When you use physical force of any kind on your kids (or anyone else) it's a breakdown of trust. Trust is paramount in all relationships; that is, if you want the relationship to work.

I wonder where the world would be if we weren't so quick to use force when things don't go are way.

[Jesuslove]

Spanking is lazy parenting. Should I smack my employees when they don't do what I want them to?

You sound like you want to get revenge on your kids because your dad spanked you.

When you use physical force of any kind on your kids (or anyone else) it's a breakdown of trust. Trust is paramount in all relationships; that is, if you want the relationship to work.

I wonder where the world would be if we weren't so quick to use force when things don't go are way.

I concur. There are always options aside from spanking. I think spanking is done out of frustration most of the time. I haven't seen one person on here, who wasn't spanked as a child, condone spanking.

[mat1583]

Spanking is lazy parenting. Should I smack my employees when they don't do what I want them to?

apples to oranges. You can't seriously make a comparison of someone's own children to adult employees at a company. Should I put me employees in timeout if they don't do what I want them to?


You sound like you want to get revenge on your kids because your dad spanked you.

Sounds to me that she's just using a logical argument for spanking. 1) It worked for her and her siblings, and instilled respect in them towards their parents.


When you use physical force of any kind on your kids (or anyone else) it's a breakdown of trust. Trust is paramount in all relationships; that is, if you want the relationship to work.

How so? When my dad spanked me, I started trusting his judgment that the acts I did deserved a spanking, thus the reason I stopped.

-washboard

[3D NC fan]

Spanking is lazy parenting. Should I smack my employees when they don't do what I want them to?

You sound like you want to get revenge on your kids because your dad spanked you.

When you use physical force of any kind on your kids (or anyone else) it's a breakdown of trust. Trust is paramount in all relationships; that is, if you want the relationship to work.

I wonder where the world would be if we weren't so quick to use force when things don't go are way.

Of course you can't spank your employees since they are adults, but doesn't your company have a progressive disclipline plan - verbal warning, written warning, action plan, and then possible termination?

Children need to be taught which is the meaning of discipline. The parents need to set the rules and the children need to know there are consequences for breaking the rules. However that is accomplished (spanking, time out, taking away privileges) is up to the parents.

[markie mark]

apples to oranges. You can't seriously make a comparison of someone's own children to adult employees at a company. Should I put me employees in timeout if they don't do what I want them to?

Employees are put in 'time out' all the time. So are students. It's called detention or firing or docked pay. I give my employees the verbal equivalent to a time out - a 'reprimand' for not doing their job. First a warning, then punishment.

Sounds to me that she's just using a logical argument for spanking. 1) It worked for her and her siblings, and instilled respect in them towards their parents.

It would instill a fear in her parents. I'd be scared too if her dad hit me.

How so? When my dad spanked me, I started trusting his judgment that the acts I did deserved a spanking, thus the reason I stopped.

What is it about the buttocks area that makes it okay to hit? Is it then okay to move onto other parts of the body? Would it be okay for me to back-hand the little guy in the head for running onto the road?

[maui sista]

Spanking is lazy parenting.



I would love to be present when you look at GOD and inform HIM that HE forgot to consult you before writing HIS perfect living WORD.



Proverbs 19:18:

18Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare him for his crying.

[markie mark]

I would love to be present when you look at GOD and inform HIM that HE forgot to consult you before writing HIS perfect living WORD.



Proverbs 19:18:

18Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare him for his crying.

Does this verse point out how the son should be punished? There are alternatives to spanking that don't involve physical contact.

You sound vindictive. Why would you 'love' to see me (suffer?) before God. Why on earth would a Christian look forward to this?

[clemsontigers23]

Proverbs 13:24

He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Wanted to re-post this. ;)

[markie mark]

The word "rod" is used in various ways in scripture, and in the original Hebrew there were eight to ten different meanings for the word. The pole that shepherds used to guide their sheep along the road was called a rod. It was not used to hit the sheep, but to guide them as they walked and keep them on the road. It is simply a guide. The shepherd also had a large club called a rod which he used to drive away predators, but it never was used to hit the sheep. God also spoke of the "rod of my mouth" which he used for discipline also. In short, the rod was any article or method used to guide, teach, or discipline. It did not have to be a physical method, either, or God could not have used his mouth as a rod.

The verse is correct in that, if you do not provide discipline for your child, he will learn to behave badly. But the rod in this verse is not specifically referring to spanking, but to any disciplinary method which gets the job done.;)

[3D NC fan]

The word "rod" is used in various ways in scripture, and in the original Hebrew there were eight to ten different meanings for the word. The pole that shepherds used to guide their sheep along the road was called a rod. It was not used to hit the sheep, but to guide them as they walked and keep them on the road. It is simply a guide. The shepherd also had a large club called a rod which he used to drive away predators, but it never was used to hit the sheep. God also spoke of the "rod of my mouth" which he used for discipline also. In short, the rod was any article or method used to guide, teach, or discipline. It did not have to be a physical method, either, or God could not have used his mouth as a rod.

The verse is correct in that, if you do not provide discipline for your child, he will learn to behave badly. But the rod in this verse is not specifically referring to spanking, but to any disciplinary method which gets the job done.;)

I agree with the logic that children must be taught. The method should be up to the parents and doesn't have to be physical (my parents believed in spanking by the way). Our heavenly Father is certainly patient with all of us.

[Pouye]

I think the "non-spankers" are missing the point. I have yet to see a child who is never spanked truly respect authority. I'm serious. I work in an organization of supposedly mature adults. I see a common problem in adults who were not spanked. Every single one of them have problems with authority. Every single one does not like the word "no" -- they can't handle it.

We are raising a nation of brats -- disrespectful little brats who will grow up and be disrespectful big brats. The psychologists and self-proclaimed gurus on child raising have proven themselves to be wrong. Dr. Spock was a moron, as were most of his contemporaries.

Rock

[clemsontigers23]

I think the "non-spankers" are missing the point. I have yet to see a child who is never spanked truly respect authority. I'm serious. I work in an organization of supposedly mature adults. I see a common problem in adults who were not spanked. Every single one of them have problems with authority. Every single one does not like the word "no" -- they can't handle it.

We are raising a nation of brats -- disrespectful little brats who will grow up and be disrespectful big brats. The psychologists and self-proclaimed gurus on child raising have proven themselves to be wrong. Dr. Spock was a moron, as were most of his contemporaries.

Rock

Agreed. I see it firsthand everyday.

[BethelTraumaRN]

O come on people...just spank the kids already! Modern 'psychology' and stuff has so gotten in the American brain that they flip out at the very word! It's ridiculous!! You all have seen what permissive parenting does to kids, and how much respect they have for their parents (uhh...NONE). Bottom line is spaking is Biblical and that's what I'm doing. I don't care if you think I'll turn out a horrible parent...So what if I do? It's not anyone else's problem to worry about. Maybe Britney and I will take classes together.....pft.

[markie mark]

I think the "non-spankers" are missing the point. I have yet to see a child who is never spanked truly respect authority. I'm serious. I work in an organization of supposedly mature adults. I see a common problem in adults who were not spanked. Every single one of them have problems with authority. Every single one does not like the word "no" -- they can't handle it.

We are raising a nation of brats -- disrespectful little brats who will grow up and be disrespectful big brats. The psychologists and self-proclaimed gurus on child raising have proven themselves to be wrong. Dr. Spock was a moron, as were most of his contemporaries.

Rock

Wow, there's a sweeping statement. Do you pass out questionnaires about spanking to these people? Do you always generalize this much? So we can assume that all who have been spanked are obedient? Don't we tend to run harder in the opposite direction?

And by the way, when have the 'self-proclaimed gurus' been proven wrong and who are these people? The ones I've read are Christian, some for it, some against.

And how do you know Dr. Spock wasn't spanked?

[WeaselInYerFoot]

I think the "non-spankers" are missing the point. I have yet to see a child who is never spanked truly respect authority. I'm serious.

My girlfriend is one of those who has never been spanked. She does respect authority when it comes to the job and such. If your theory was true, and this consistency that you claim was also true, then the opposite should be consistently true with people who were spanked as well. That is, they would all respect authority. Incidentally, my girlfriends older brother was frequently spanked and he's completely the opposite of her.

[markie mark]

O come on people...just spank the kids already! Modern 'psychology' and stuff has so gotten in the American brain that they flip out at the very word! It's ridiculous!! You all have seen what permissive parenting does to kids, and how much respect they have for their parents (uhh...NONE). Bottom line is spaking is Biblical and that's what I'm doing. I don't care if you think I'll turn out a horrible parent...So what if I do? It's not anyone else's problem to worry about. Maybe Britney and I will take classes together.....pft.

You beat me to the punch (pardon the pun - or to the spank). You're offering parenting advice and have Britney Spears as your avatar. :D

[BethelTraumaRN]

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH POUYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's what I'm talkin' about.

And no, I'm saying if you 'non-spankers' thing my children will be evil and I'll be a bad parent, and apparently think the same of Britney, then just group us together and we'll both get shoved off to your parenting classes.... Please, I'd never mock myself, or Britney.

[Evanescence]

Kids need to be discipled...they need spanked and taught right/wrong...

BUT, folks, whats the scariest about this is once again the Govt is telling us WHAT WE CAN/CAN'T DO...

Its NOT their job to police our parenting. Abuse yes, but not something as basic as this...

They need to mind their own damm business. I'm tired of the meddling Govt !!!!!!!!!!

[BethelTraumaRN]

^Amen to you too!!!

[Pouye]

My girlfriend is one of those who has never been spanked. She does respect authority when it comes to the job and such. If your theory was true, and this consistency that you claim was also true, then the opposite should be consistently true with people who were spanked as well. That is, they would all respect authority. Incidentally, my girlfriends older brother was frequently spanked and he's completely the opposite of her.

It was a sweeping statement. I haven't polled people, but I deal with people from countries where spanking has been banned a while, and with children from countries where they don't spank. There is a stark difference. Just the other day I had to talk to a young boy who didn't respect what I had to say because he had zero respect/fear of what might happen if he didn't listen.

Also, I said this is my experience. I'm sure there are always exceptions to the rule.

Rock

[maui sista]

Spanking is lazy parenting. Should I smack my employees when they don't do what I want them to?

You sound like you want to get revenge on your kids because your dad spanked you.

When you use physical force of any kind on your kids (or anyone else) it's a breakdown of trust. Trust is paramount in all relationships; that is, if you want the relationship to work.

I wonder where the world would be if we weren't so quick to use force when things don't go are way.

[/QUOTE]Does this verse point out how the son should be punished? There are alternatives to spanking that don't involve physical contact.

You sound vindictive. Why would you 'love' to see me (suffer?) before God. Why on earth would a Christian look forward to this?[/QUOTE]



Kind person,understand that I do not enjoy other peoples' suffering,just as I would hope that you do not enjoy asserting uneducated assumptions that any given unruly, disrepectful child will gladly provide you with acceptable and honorable behavior in exchange for a well placed "time out".
I agree that a good whippin' is not always the first resort.The proper order of operations in the discipline of a child starts always with a heart of love and respect "Markie,please don't do that"-"Markie,didn't I ask you not to do that?" "Markie,I love you,but if you do that again you will be punished in a way that you will not soon forget"."Markie....."Then comes the whippin'.
I did and still do respect as well as trust my parents more than any 1 person I know.This is because their commanding of my respect in a heart of love (not revenge)worked exactly the way God intended it to.

It's all very simple,when a child is disrespecting and disobeying their Father and Mother,it is impossible for them to simultaneously obey the 5th commandment (Exodus 20:12).
When a parent (and "CHILD" of God) does not enforce our Fathers law (which includes corporal punishment)they are thereby making HIS law null and void within their own household."In the beginning was the Word,and the Word was with God,and the Word was God." John 1:1.
"Jesus said unto him,'THOU SHALT LOVE THE LORD THY GOD WITH ALL THY HEART,AND WITH ALL THY SOUL,AND WITH ALL THY MIND.' " Matthew 22:37

When a child should be spanked and is not,the parent in question is testing God just like the unruly child testing the parent.I personally think that the parent should receive the punishment that originally should have been applied to the tender backside of the disobedient child.

-PW

[ausgirl]

Spanking is lazy parenting.

I would actually say, not disciplining is lazy parenting, unfortunatley, so many parents don't bother to do much of anything any more and they have out of control infants, toddlers and then, far worse, teens. Children need to learn discipline from birth - and no, I don't mean smacking a 6 week old, but not letting them think they have control over you from this age is very important. A child learns from day one - you are the teacher, follow God's wisdom in your lessons.

[BethelTraumaRN]

Um, HELLO people!! God chastens US too.....He spanks us!

Spare the rod, hate the child. That's my motto. NOT spanking is lazy parenting...it's enough to say I don't care about you enough to put you through temporary pain to teach you a lesson that'll stick with you forever and teach you to fear me and love me AND respect me all at once.

Eesh.

[Pouye]

By the way, I understand that my sweeping statement made in this thread is not 100% true. What I meant, to clarify, was to say that in general, the people who I have personally come in contact with who have problems with authority (both adults and children) are ones who never had spanking incorporated into their disciplinary training.

By the way, I rarely spank my kids. In fact, it has been months since I can remember giving a spanking. Also, I don't spank when I'm angry, and I don't spank hard enough to do any physical harm or leave permanent marks.

Rock

[Jesuslove]

Um, HELLO people!! God chastens US too.....He spanks us!

Spare the rod, hate the child. That's my motto. NOT spanking is lazy parenting...it's enough to say I don't care about you enough to put you through temporary pain to teach you a lesson that'll stick with you forever and teach you to fear me and love me AND respect me all at once.

Eesh.

That's just crazy. I love my child very much. I have never spanked him. I am not a bad parent, nor lazy. Children don't necessarily have to fear parents, but it is crucial that children respect their parents.

As I stated before, when I adopted my son, I had to sign a pledge, that as an adoptive parent, I would not spank my child.

One other thing....which initially I had no intention of bringing up on here, but I will now. Growing up, I was a good child: I never got in trouble in school (not even one detention), got good grades, never did drugs, went to church every Sunday, never disobeyed my parents, etc. My father was physically abusive to myself and my Mom. My father didn't particularly like me because I looked a lot like my Mom's side of the family, while my brother resembled him. Because my father's father hit him, he thought it was appropriate to hit me. I used to go to school with bruises (black, blue, yellow and purple ones) on my arms, finger bruises around my neck, etc. Back in the day, nothing was said by teachers or other parents. My parents are still married to this day (47 years later), and I love both my parents, but my father's abuse (not spanking) would be grounds for termination of parental rights by today's standards.

[SonflowerGurl]

That's just crazy. I love my child very much. I have never spanked him. I am not a bad parent, nor lazy. Children don't necessarily have to fear parents, but it is crucial that children respect their parents.

As I stated before, when I adopted my son, I had to sign a pledge, that as an adoptive parent, I would not spank my child.

One other thing....which initially I had no intention of bringing up on here, but I will now. Growing up, I was a good child: I never got in trouble in school (not even one detention), got good grades, never did drugs, went to church every Sunday, never disobeyed my parents, etc. My father was physically abusive to myself and my Mom. My father didn't particularly like me because I looked a lot like my Mom's side of the family, while my brother resembled him. Because my father's father hit him, he thought it was appropriate to hit me. I used to go to school with bruises (black, blue, yellow and purple ones) on my arms, finger bruises around my neck, etc. Back in the day, nothing was said by teachers or other parents. My parents are still married to this day (47 years later), and I love both my parents, but my father's abuse (not spanking) would be grounds for termination of parental rights by today's standards.

It was wrong for your Father to abuse you no matter his reasons. Child abuse is always wrong. I don't believe anyone on this thread is advocating child abuse at all. Spanking, done properly, is discipline not abuse.

[Jesuslove]

It was wrong for your Father to abuse you no matter his reasons. Child abuse is always wrong. I don't believe anyone on this thread is advocating child abuse at all. Spanking, done properly, is discipline not abuse.

Sometimes adults don't realize how hard they hit. I just feel there are better ways to punish, then spanking... just my opinion, and my experience.

[markie mark]

Let's say your running the Sunday school program at your church and you have a couple of kids who are really acting up. Do you spank those kids? Why not? What makes it right to hit your own kids and not someone else's?

What if you run a daycare? Your seeing other people's children on a DAILY basis. Kids who aren't always going to do as they're told. If you can't spank, and the law says you can't, then what do you do?

You better come up with some pretty innovative ways to calm those darling kiddies down or they'll eat you alive.

If you go into a job like that with a plan on how to deal with unruly children, then you'll know what to do when chaos rears its ugly head. Remember, you can't play the spank card, so what do you do?

[allyoop]

It's hard to wrap up what I wanna say in one post but I'll try. I was spanked as a child, not all the time, maybe a handful. But when I was it HURT. My dad would have us sit on our bed for what seemed like forever, then he would come in with the belt. He told us why we were getting a spankin, then he would give us about 3 good whacks on the behind. It worked. Yes, I had some fear of my Dad, but today I love and respect him greatly and do not hesitate to ask his advice. We have 5 kids, one a teenage daughter. I did not like it when my husband spanked them when they were little( 5 or 6). He stopped and we then went solely to time-outs, taking away things etc. When my daughter became a teenager things got out of control. We took away, grounded talked and talked and talked. (I always get a chuckle out of those public service announcements where they say "Talk to your kids--they'll listen.") Anyway, one time my husband got a call from the police to come pick her up. She was extremely unruly. The cop asked if my husband could handle it. On the way home she was throwing a tantrum like a toddler, screaming and beating her fists on the car. My husband warned her several times, then pulled over and gave her a slap on the face. Later that night the same cop came over for a follow-up. She proceeded to tell him her father had slapped her, trying to get him arrested. The cop said he deals alot with teenagers who are out-of-control whose parents are either afraid or unwilling to discipline in this mannner. I don't think spanking is a black and white issue. There is alot of gray. Had we continued to spank, would our daughter have gotten in this much trouble? Only God knows. I do believe there are some with a rebellious spirit who need to be spanked. That said, if something else works, great. But I definetely wouldn't call spanking lazy parenting. For some kids, that is what works.

[Changed 4 Ever]

While I haven't had to do it very often, I do think spanking is called for on certain occasions. Sometimes words go right in one ear and out the other and you can find yourself sounding like a broken record. A spanking can be effective and speak louder than words. I can tell you that the few times I felt it necessary to spank, my point was made, and my children didn't do it again.

[BethelTraumaRN]

I'm not saying spank for every little thing they do wrong. For us, spanking was usually reserved for absolute direct disobedience, after at least one warning was given and we continued to disobey, or as the 'really-big-trouble' punishment. I never got spanked for 'little' things. However, the spankings I did get were definitely enough to leave a lasting impression. My dad had (and still does! LOL) what we call "The Stick." It's about a three foot long, like, really narrow piece of sanded wood that he'd whack us with. He broke it on my youngest brother's butt one time, and he STILL remembers that spanking and why my Dad gave it to him.

I'm all for the hand slaps and the VERY stern "NO" and such on a regular basis, but spanking WILL be a part of punishment whenI see fit. And FYI, I'm NOT running a daycare and I'm NOT teaching a children's sunday school class. My own children will irritate me enough, thank you very much.

[markie mark]

Let's say your running the Sunday school program at your church and you have a couple of kids who are really acting up. Do you spank those kids? Why not? What makes it right to hit your own kids and not someone else's?

What if you run a daycare? Your seeing other people's children on a DAILY basis. Kids who aren't always going to do as they're told. If you can't spank, and the law says you can't, then what do you do?

You better come up with some pretty innovative ways to calm those darling kiddies down or they'll eat you alive.

If you go into a job like that with a plan on how to deal with unruly children, then you'll know what to do when chaos rears its ugly head. Remember, you can't play the spank card, so what do you do?

so what, as a pro-spanker, would you do?

[maui sista]

Let's say your running the Sunday school program at your church and you have a couple of kids who are really acting up. Do you spank those kids? Why not? What makes it right to hit your own kids and not someone else's?

What if you run a daycare? Your seeing other people's children on a DAILY basis. Kids who aren't always going to do as they're told. If you can't spank, and the law says you can't, then what do you do?

You better come up with some pretty innovative ways to calm those darling kiddies down or they'll eat you alive.

If you go into a job like that with a plan on how to deal with unruly children, then you'll know what to do when chaos rears its ugly head. Remember, you can't play the spank card, so what do you do?

What if?
Lets say.....
Coulda woulda shoulda
You are off the topic.
America does not negotiate with terrorists;I do not negotiate with disrespectful brats-if they are that bad,it is time to have a serious discussion with the parents...
Not every child is the same,not every childs' circumstances are the same...
Show me who can see into the future;any given person will only really know how they will respond to a situation when they are smack dab in the middle of responding,this is why God provides grace,patience,understand ing,wisdom and the correct answer when we need it and ask for it.

"What makes it right to hit my own kids and not someone else's kids?"
God makes it right,because HE commands me to.
Which law makes us subject to judgement affecting eternity,the law that says no to spanking;or the law that commands us to spank? "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.But rather fear HIM who is able to kill both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28
My kids and other peoples' kids are like comparing apples and cheezits;I dont go around beating other peoples' kids;Why?-because they are other peoples' kids!
As for people that choose to place themselves inside a room full of kids,be the authority and try to maintain order and respect without the option of corporal punishment when necessary-GOD help them!(Whoever's seen "Kindergarten Cop" has a slight inkling of the responsibility involved.)
"My brethren,let not many of you become teachers,knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment." James 3:1 (May God bless our Sunday school teachers and give them wisdom).

-PW

[SonflowerGurl]

Since I do have a sunday school class...I'd call the parents if needed and remove the child from the class. The parent could decide to spank or not.

[mat1583]

Let's say your running the Sunday school program at your church and you have a couple of kids who are really acting up. Do you spank those kids? Why not? What makes it right to hit your own kids and not someone else's?

For the same reason you can choose to give your own kid Benedryl or Tylenol for an ailment when you probably wouldn't have the right to do so at a daycare or Sunday school unless given written permission from a parent/guardian.


What if you run a daycare? Your seeing other people's children on a DAILY basis. Kids who aren't always going to do as they're told. If you can't spank, and the law says you can't, then what do you do?

When I was in daycare, they'd either make us do "airplanes" or touch our toes for an hour. Airplanes are where you have to hold your arms out beside you for an extended amount of time until you can't hold them out anymore. Not fun. Not physically harmful, but it definitely didn't feel good.


If you go into a job like that with a plan on how to deal with unruly children, then you'll know what to do when chaos rears its ugly head. Remember, you can't play the spank card, so what do you do?
Get a different job :)

-washboard

[ausgirl]

I DO have a job like that - I am the Director of a childcare centre, and no, we cannot and do not spank. We have behavioural management strategies which all staff use with the children in their care - these strategies involve time out and rewarding positive behaviour. I have never had chaos rear it's ugly head, perhaps because my wonderful staff are so competent.
Does this mean that I wouldn't spank my child at home from time to time - no of course not - while time out does work well with 3-5 year olds and older children to a degree, a quick smack on the fingers for a toddler who was going to touch the stove at home would be my choice then.

Remember, as carers, we are not making choices for parents, they choose to raise their children at home, we care for them to the best of out abilities otherwise. This goes for lots of areas, sex ed, discipline, health, nutrition, etc, they are parents choices.

[rossid]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,314465,00.html

[SonflowerGurl]

Truthfully, based on that story, the child probably was very undisplined from the parent to begin and the parent is going to have a direct affect on the child's future success based on such behavior.

With that said, if the teacher did indeed spank/paddle the child and broke an admistrative policy from the school distict, she was wrong. Not only has she modeled to that child that she can break the rules but is putting her employer in a compromising situation which would make them vunerable to a lawsuit.

[rossid]

http://forums.dmmoms.com/viewtopic.php?t=2300&highlight=spank

[fullofquestions]

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this board. But here is my thoughts on it. I already know it has been said in this thread that spanking is biblical 'spare the rod, spoil the child' however spanking is also scientific. What do i mean? well glad you asked. We have the ability to feel pain...God gave us this ability. Why? because PAIN is a learning tool. Why don't you hold your hand over a fire? because it HURTS! you learn not to, for fear of pain. It is the same with spanking, a kid learns that certian behaviours are not tolerable and doesn't doing them again because he is afraid of the hurt/pain. Now i'm not advocating abusing your children by no means. But spanking is a necessary part of parenting to teach your kids an appropiate level of fear/respect. However, spanking can only be accomplished successfully with love in the mix. You can beat your child into respecting you...but not into loving you. So what i'm trying to say is it has to be done out of love and not anger. Also there are a few kids that hardly if never need a spanking. Why? because most of these kids that don't are hypersensitive and just yelling at them...or being upset at them in any way hurts them enough for them not to do certian behaviours anymore. But it is still the same concept they quit because of fear of being hurt either emotionally or physically.

[Sam!]

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this board. But here is my thoughts on it. I already know it has been said in this thread that spanking is biblical 'spare the rod, spoil the child' however spanking is also scientific. What do i mean? well glad you asked. We have the ability to feel pain...God gave us this ability. Why? because PAIN is a learning tool. Why don't you hold your hand over a fire? because it HURTS! you learn not to, for fear of pain. It is the same with spanking, a kid learns that certian behaviours are not tolerable and doesn't doing them again because he is afraid of the hurt/pain. Now i'm not advocating abusing your children by no means. But spanking is a necessary part of parenting to teach your kids an appropiate level of fear/respect. However, spanking can only be accomplished successfully with love in the mix. You can beat your child into respecting you...but not into loving you. So what i'm trying to say is it has to be done out of love and not anger. Also there are a few kids that hardly if never need a spanking. Why? because most of these kids that don't are hypersensitive and just yelling at them...or being upset at them in any way hurts them enough for them not to do certian behaviours anymore. But it is still the same concept they quit because of fear of being hurt either emotionally or physically.
Plenty of children who are spanked remain undisciplined and even become bullies and violent offenders. Spanking is no more a cure-all than time-out, grounding and other non-physical discipline.

However, I think there is an obvious trend in liberal circles over the last several decades where the amount of physical discipline allowed has become less and less and as a result behavior has gotten worse. The solution? Redefine "good behavior." SO now a kid who won't follow directions is just "expressing his creativity." If he won't obey his teachers or parents he's just "demonstrating independence." If he's bullying other kids nonphysically, he's just "being assertive." If he's selfish or narcississtic he's "just trying to protect his interests."

Which is typical. If the results don't meet your standards, then redefine the standards and reinterpret the results!

[sandyandporter]

However, I think there is an obvious trend in liberal circles over the last several decades where the amount of physical discipline allowed has become less and less and as a result behavior has gotten worse. The solution? Redefine "good behavior." SO now a kid who won't follow directions is just "expressing his creativity." If he won't obey his teachers or parents he's just "demonstrating independence." If he's bullying other kids nonphysically, he's just "being assertive." If he's selfish or narcississtic he's "just trying to protect his interests."

Which is typical. If the results don't meet your standards, then redefine the standards and reinterpret the results!

Very good point. There is a line between building healthy self esteem in your child and allowing them to just be rude and obnoxious!

I'm not weighing in on the issue as I've never had children of my own.

[TN3Dmom]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,314465,00.html


Just want to issue a disclaimer here, that it was not this Tennessee mom in that story. :) For the record, I have spanked my children, but I don't have to any more cause they know I will.

[pamcharlie]

Hi there I agree with some of the posts on this one that there is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking since it is discipline and yes God does discipline me at times and in the part of the children's ministry i am involved in we are not allowed to spank but we are allowed to put the children in time out and yes i agree that time out is essential discipline too.

Here in New Zealand we have been through some political debate about spanking and we have had spanking banned in this country even though some parents will still spank their children and even when i have children i will spank them if it is just a light tap on the hand or the bottom or even a tap on the shoulder and i will even put them in time out too.

anyway i am totally against child abuse since the so called political leaders who come up with these bans should realize that there are some really caring and loving christian parents who want to raise their children according to the bible and spanking is a form of loving discipline what is not loving discipline but abuse is volience like whacking a child with a baseball bat or a chord or bashing them etc etc.

We need to pray for the children of the countries we live in and do we need a nanny state where the political leaders in both local body and government politics tell parents and future parents how to raise our children i think not since children are from God and it is our role as christian parents aunts uncles etc to raise and nurturer the children in our lives according to the word of God :) in closing may be our political leaders need to read the book of proverbs